bloodyrosemccoy: (Xenofairies)
What I Learned Since The Winter Solstice

  • The Cooking Hypothesis suggests that the invention of cooking precipitated a rapid evolutionary change in humans, allowing them to more efficiently process nutrients and, of course, growing bigger brains. I always said cooking was an important part of humanity, dangit!

  • Nancy Kerrigan was filmed right after being attacked sobbing and asking "Why? Why?"--and a lot of people thought she was being a wimp or a drama queen because she was only bruised. Dude, it still hurts, but quite apart from that, when you get attacked, it's probably TERRIFYING and it HURTS YOUR FEELINGS.

  • The difference between triple axels, triple spins, triple lutzes, etc., has to do with where you push off from and what direction you're facing and okay fine I've already forgotten.

  • Flavoring sodas is a lot like brewing tea. Really sugary tea.

  • But brown sugar makes them taste rather bitter.

  • Also, soda-brewing is similar to making beer, except you don't let the yeast go far enough to make alcohol.

  • Furthermore, there is a lot of argument over just what the "cream" in "cream soda" refers to. Vanilla? Adding cream to the soda? Or cream of tartar? It's a HISTORY MYSTERY.

  • In tangentially-related soda discoveries, SodaStream is a company fraught with political tensions and controversy.

  • Cloth pads and panty liners are surprisingly expensive, but also surprisingly worth it.

  • There is a constellation in the Southern Hemisphere called "The Poop." Yes, it refers to a ship's stern (poop deck), BUT STILL. HURRRR.

  • There are, naturally, all sorts of recipes for Ent-Draught on the internet.

  • Mainlining Atop The Fourth Wall has taught me something I always rather thought: I have terrible comic-reading comprehension. I do okay with some, mostly in comic strip form, but it takes me a long time to parse each page, way longer than it takes to read straight prose, so if I'm going to read a comic, I have to be committed. And even then I have trouble regarding them critically.*

  • I did learn, however, that lots of people find it extremely difficult to keep comic continuity straight. Comic writers, for instance. Case in point: Donna Troy.

  • The director of Tremors is Ron Underwood, who got his start in the film industry making educational shorts for Barr Films--such as one of my favorite Rifftrax-featured shorts, Library World.

  • My mom, who watched very little TV as a kid, nevertheless has strong opinions about what Mr. Peabody's voice sounds like.

  • Mork & Mindy was a spinoff of Happy Days.  Clearly, I never watched either of them.

  • Getting feedback on your novel can be a mixed bag. You get excited that you can make it better, but frustrated when you can't tell if the feedback makes sense.

  • Publishing a serial story online gets more difficult with each installment because there's a lot to keep track of. BUT DAMMIT IT'S STILL POSSIBLE.

  • You can unclog standard drain clogs with the use of science fair volcano technology.

  • After you turn into the left-turn-lane, it's legal to drive 500 freaking feet in that lane. Which is almost a whole block even here in Salt Lake City.

  • The Beautiful Creatures movie might be adapted from a novel of the same name, but don't let that fool you. It is clearly a remake of The Touch of Satan.

  • The first female-directed movie ever to gross more than $1 billion is Frozen. Which is awesome, but dang, it took a while to get there. Let's hope this is a good precedent!



*Interestingly, though, I read a lot of Archie comics as a kid. It fascinated me the same way 1950s Educational Shorts fascinate me--it shows some weird whitebread cultural ideal that somehow I can't look away from.
bloodyrosemccoy: (Movie Sign)
Finally caved in to Netflix's insistence and watched Hemlock Grove. Turns out I'm glad I did because HOLY SHIT y'all this show is fucking BONKERS.

It's hard to decide which thing is more entertaining--is it the crazy special-effects eyeballs-falling-out gloopiness of the transformation into a werewolf? Is it the inexplicable 8-foot-tall glow-in-the-dark one-bug-eyed Frankenstein's monster girl with a heart of gold, keen intellect, and anachronistic vocabulary? Is it Famke Janssen auditioning for Bad English Accent Theater's version of Morticia Addams? Is it the mad scientist with inexplicable super strength? Is it the symbolism that's about as subtle as a Nathaniel Hawthorne novel? Or is it the way everyone pronounces "vargulf" like "Wahrwilf"?

Okay, yeah, it's definitely that last one.

Seriously, this show. I am DYING to see what they do next season.
bloodyrosemccoy: (Relaxin')
... just in time to go watch Rifftrax take Starship Troopers apart, too. I lead a rich, full life.

I'll try to post photos in the next few days, but frankly I am feeling extremely lazy. It should happen eventually, though.

How was your week(end)?
bloodyrosemccoy: (Edward Sparkles)
Okay, y'all, the Rifftrax for Breaking Dawn Part 2 is a goddamn MASTERPIECE. I may have to turn around and watch it again, because it had me doubled over laughing so hard.

Also, Dear Michael Sheen: I WILL BE YOUR FRIEND. Come find me and we will have sparkly shenanigans together. Wear your silly old-timey battle gear. Maybe we can go find [livejournal.com profile] nobleplatypus and go to Disneyland! IT WILL BE REMAAAARKABLE
bloodyrosemccoy: (Movie Sign)
Went to see Mama this weekend with my buddies Kate and Matt. Aside from having a great time talking Liberry Talk (Kate still works there), it was interesting to note that it was my first time watching a horror movie on the big screen.

For some reason, horror movies specifically seem like the kind you watch on a little screen, with headphones. I devour them, but generally on my computer, late at night,* which is a great idea because it's a good way to suddenly haunt your house. I much prefer watching movies that way in general, because that way I can control the volume or turn on subtitles or pause them so I can go to the bathroom or go back and rewatch the silly parts.** Also, I can do other things while I'm watching, such as create conlang words or make bracelets or something.

So I had to warn Kate'n'Matt that I am not much for theaters, and my immersion in Mystery Science Theater 3000 means that I have to remind myself that my concept of theater manners might not be the same as other people's. Fortunately, this audience agreed with me, and was quite willing to holler at the screen. If you're gonna watch a movie like that with other people, by god it should be social.

It worked, too. Kate'n'Matt have decided that they need more MST3k in their lives. They are coming over Friday to sample some. Little do they know the evangelical storm that is about to be released upon them. Now I've just got to figure out which host to start them on.

Also, to fix my darn disc drive. But hey, at least the MST movie's on Netflix Instaplay. That's always a good one to start.


*At least, that's how I used to do it, before the spindle on my DVD drive disintegrated. Now when I use DVDs I'm having to improvise with an external USB drive. It doesn't work very well.

**I swear I made Grave Encounters twice as long as its actual runtime doing that. It's not a GREAT movie, but it had me shivering and also giggling idiotically through pretty much the whole thing. Along with Paranormal Activity, it is my go-to haunted house movie.

Love/Hate

Mar. 18th, 2012 11:47 pm
bloodyrosemccoy: (Edward Sparkles)
Oh, yeah, I can totally see why they had to split a story as epic as Twilight: Breaking Dawn into two movies. It definitely money needs all that money time to properly money tell the story.

And the part I was looking forward to the most as a certified antifan was not nearly insane enough. Though I suppose it’d still be extra insane for anyone who didn’t read the books, because the movie didn’t stop to explain just why the vampire-gnaws-a-C-section-through-his-beloved bit was necessary. Your story may be stupid, but that is no excuse for sloppy storytelling!

The Rifftrax was darn good, though. The Wahrwilf reference alone made it worthwhile, but I admit I was rather gratified when they cheered the brief appearance of Count Fabulous at the end. Like me, they know who the real star of this story is. We can only hope he steals the hell out of the spotlight in the next one.
bloodyrosemccoy: (Sweet Moves)
Mom's out of town, and so Dad and I are having us some Bonding Time. And by that I mean we keep eating tacos, talking about BRAAAAAINS,* and tuning into the All-Westerns Channel.

Ever been on the All-Westerns Channel? It's great. No matter when you turn it on, you're totally up to speed. You know--good guy, bad guy, sheriff, saloon doors, cattle stampede, prostitutes ... I should make bingo cards. Dad keeps ticking off the western tropes, I track bad technical execution, and both of us do color commentary.**

DAD: Look at all the Italian names! Is this a genuine spaghetti western?

ME: Yeah, but it says it was filmed in Israel. Because of course Italy just won't do for a Western. AUTHENTICITY.

LADY ONSCREEN: Welcome to Mexico! My name is Juanita.

DAD: Full name is Juanita Shoshana Rosenberg.

***

ME: I feel like this movie is a bit hostile to women. The lovingly storyboarded mass assault on the Ladies of Pleasure is a clue.

DAD: Not to mention the way they interrupted that sequence to bring you a completely different assault scene.

***

DAD: Hey, look! It's the Grand Tetons! Oh, man, Jackson ... we ought to go there again. Look at that scenery!

ME: I think something's supposed to be happening in front of the scenery.

DAD: I really don't care.

***

ME: Wow, I'll give this movie credit. Instead of just separating Good Guys and Bad Guys, it takes some time to examine the repercussions of the usual Lawman-Takes-Down-The-Lawbreakers scenario and the grey areas therein, and these cowboys actually talk about their feelings a bit.

DAD: Yeah. Boring, isn't it?

***

ME: It's always infuriating to watch a Doris Day movie. Every single man in the film bosses her around and manhandles her and talks at her like she's an incompetent tantrumy four-year-old, but it's hard to side with her character when she's always written as an incompetent tantrumy four-year-old. It's hard to know who to cheer for.

DAD: In cases like that, I cheer for the cattle stampede.

ME: ... Good idea. Get them all, cattle!

***

I am a little embarrassed at how many of these old actors I know primarily from their appearance in MST movies, but hey, at least I can keep up a bit. The rest, like I said, isn't all that hard to follow, anyway.


*In a neurological sense, not a zombological one. Sorry.

**Or black-and-white commentary, as the case may be.
bloodyrosemccoy: (I AM MRS! NESBIT!)
Merry Xmas, amigos! Around here the X stands for whatever you want it to. Although it does look rather a lot like Christmas over at the Treehouse.

But what’s this? A new doll? Why, yes! I actually got her for my birthday, but I had some putting together to do before I introduced her.

But you don’t get her full background from a silly Xmas album. So. Let me tell you about Rocket.

Photobucket

Okay, okay, I’ll cut her background. )

Anyway, tl;dr: I’m having a lot of fun coming up with Space stuff for her. I’m all over shiny space clothes, space robots (I couldn’t resist tiny Tom Servo even though he's not "canon"), space guns, space computers, and other such space necessities. She’s even got a jumpsuit in the works. Because god dammit, this is Raygun Gothic Retro Rocket, and I will do it right.
bloodyrosemccoy: (Movie Sign)
It really says something about how antifandom works that I understand this film student completely. Oh, Manos. There’s just no way to hate you with any degree of sincerity.
bloodyrosemccoy: (Default)
What I Learned Since The Summer Solstice:
  • The favorite architect I never knew I had is the awesomely named Friedensreich Regentag Dunkelbunt Hundertwasser. This is what the buildings inside my head look like.
  • So one of the latest theories on the proliferation of autoimmune disorders is that in a sanitary ablutomaniacal society, there are not enough germs to keep our immune systems occupied, so they start attacking us. That’s right: they think we have allergies because our immune systems are fucking BORED.
  • Which means that a (gross) experimental treatment for everything from hayfever to goddamn Crohn’s disease is to infect the sufferer with hookworms.
  • There are two main types of sail plans in ships: square rig and fore-and-aft rig.
  • Bill Nye the Science Guy is as awesome as I have always heard.*
  • Team-building is a scam.
  • Those obnoxious self-righteous hippies are right: things do taste better straight from the garden.
  • Especially strawberries. I finally understand what all the damn fuss is about.
  • Pumpkin vines are really prickly, yo.
  • Gourd leaves, however, can be like velvet.
  • You should always check the labels on the tomatoes you buy. Or maybe not, since what I grabbed thinking it was a cherry tomato plant turned out to be the most amazingly crazy heirloom tomatoes I’ve ever seen.
  • That stupidly accented “Oh, hi, ___” people keep referencing is an impression of Tommy Wiseau in The Room.
  • The Room is worse than hyperbolic people are making out to be. AND NOT IN AN ENTERTAINING WAY.
  • The Crazy Pit of politics does not appear to have a bottom.
  • Great horned owls are surprisingly adorable.
  • The X-Files is a really boring show.
  • But its not!spinoff, Millennium, is pretty good.
  • I am not the only grownup in the world who still fails to see the value of homework.
  • Peasant blouses are a blast to make.
  • The constellation Aquila is right where my uncle swears it is not.
  • Sometimes your gallbladder can act up even if there are no gallstones anywhere near you, because your body hates you.
  • Apparently Science can predict whether you will shop in a clockwise or counterclockwise pattern in a store—and it seems to correlate with which side of the road your country’s traffic rules say you drive on.
  • The subject of "You're So Vain" is apparently a big old secret.  Seriously, knowing it is apparently worth $50,000.
  • Dead laptop screens can actually be replaced!

*Somehow I missed the glorious age of Bill Nye, despite being smack in the middle of it. I was too busy watching Ghostwriter, and dammit with the advent of the information superhighway pretty much everything I learned on that show is now about as useful as knowing how to juggle.
bloodyrosemccoy: (Random Sentences)
The other day I suffered from Total Bra Blowout,* necessitating a trip to the mall (on Labor Day—a thing that should be avoided if at all possible). I’ve leveled up in Bra Size, apparently. The only thing to do was to buy a stack of new ones, including a purple one that I think is reinforced enough to count as “scaffolding” rather than “lingerie.”

And I tellya, it’s amazing how a new bra makes all the difference, by which I mean that it arranges things just so that my boobs are always in my visual field. They just lurk down there until I move, and then my survival instincts are like “WHOA WHAT’S THAT IS IT LIONS oh never mind it’s just the great prow of this vessel” and then I am all confused because my survival instincts have mixed their metaphors. It’s like when I get a haircut and spend the next few days jumping every time I pass a mirror.

Also, I hate it when people refer to breasts as “the girls.” The saleslady kept doing that and it was driving me bonkers. I anthropomorphize a lot of things, but boobs aren’t on the list.

Anyway, the most entertaining part of the actual buying was that Dad had come with Mom and me to the mall, and so in order to find us after buying whatever the hell he needed, he had to brave the Dillard’s Underwear Dungeon. He spent a lot of time muttering about the impossibility that all the bras around him would get sold. After all, how many women could there be in Salt Lake City?**

“Oh, they sell,” the saleslady assured us. “Why, I myself have a hundred bras!”

“All lined up in your closet?” I asked.

“In my dresser.”

“How do you even keep track?” Dad asked.

I think even without ladies like her skewing the average, though, there’s probably high turnover in the Underwear Dungeon. Total Bra Blowout can strike anywhere, at any time, and you’ve got to have somewhere to go when it does.


tl;dr



*Turns out buying all your bras at once leads to them all expiring at once. Damn.

**Insert obligatory Utah female-to-male ratio joke here.
bloodyrosemccoy: (Grabthar's Hammer)
Rewatching the Harry Potter movies, not in anticipation of the new one, but rather because I need a Rifftrax fix and really don’t feel like watching Eragon or The Matrix, well, ever again.* And I gotta admit, I can see why I abandoned it six books and four movies in. Underneath all that whimsy, I can’t escape the way the series boils down to a perfect example of the genre I call “Unlikable People Making Bad Decisions.”

Actually, some of my favorite movies are in that genre. Cloverfield, Paranormal Activity, and I suppose you could put Alien in that category as well, though I rather like most of the characters in those movies, up to and including Private William “GAME OVER MAN” Hudson. But the thing is, it’s because you’re not required to like the characters to enjoy the movie. In Harry Potter, you are supposed to like at least some of the characters, and that’s where I’m tapped out. (The same problem keeps me from enjoying the Unlikable People Making Bad Decisions shows my sister and mom enjoy, such as Private Practice and Desperate Housewives.) Characters determined to make the worst possible decision at any given moment, who are so exceedingly touchy that essentially the taunt of “Your mom!” induces any of them to homicidal rampages, are not characters I can really like.

Add to that the completely arbitrary nature of the magical world, and the way EVERY SINGLE TEACHER seems to be actively trying to get their students killed,*** and I find myself wondering what I did see in the Harry Potter stories.

I am enjoying the riffing of them, though. Especially since Mike, Kevin, and Bill have made a running joke of the reckless endangerment wizards and witches seem to put their children into at all times. But alas, I have run out of Harry Potter riffs for now, and will have to turn elsewhere for my mockery.

Hmm. I wonder if Michael Sheen makes an appearance as Count Fabulous in Eclipse


*Actually, I got back on the Rifftrax kick while letting my current bout of Alien obsession run its course. I’d exhausted the number of times I could watch Alien and Aliens, then watch them again with audio commentaries,** without feeling just a little repetitive. Plus, anyone doing John Hurt impressions makes me giggle. (“I remember … doing something stupid … then something else stupid …”)

**I have long suspected that commentaries are designed for the obsessive nerd who doesn’t want to feel like they’ve had the damn movie on a constant loop for a week. It’s totally different this time! There are people talking about the movie!

***Except for Snape. The only one whose loyalties you’re supposed to question is the only one who’d shove himself between a werewolf and three children he can’t stand. Snape, like Raistlin, is a character I love in a franchise I really don’t like. Yeah, yeah, have at me, internet.
bloodyrosemccoy: (Wassail ... In CANS)
... And Rifftrax just name-checked American Girl dolls.

Once again, I feel as though the streams are crossed. But that may just be me.
bloodyrosemccoy: (DEEP HURTING)
They weren’t kidding: the 2006 version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers is the worst yet. Its messages seem to be that we need war, rape, murder, etc. in order to enjoy the full breadth of creativity, love, and colorful clothing, and also that delicious Pepsi products will keep us human. But more to the point, it was not creepy enough. The wonderfully creepy part of the other movies is that body snatching meant a soulless alien version of you was dumping your dead and disintegrated remains into a trash compactor. No wonder this movie sucked. It had nothing to do with pods, although it did have something to do with people, unlike Experiment 303.*

Also, did anyone notice that the actual hero of the story was Steve the Doctor, who was barely in it? It was the weirdest bit of tokenism ever—movie focuses on a bunch of panicky white people running around having Family Issues and bemoaning violence, and meanwhile in the background Black Doctor #2 sneaks off to his Secret Fortress Of Science, figures out how to CURE pod people—something no other version has done**—then, because the idiot protagonists won’t shut up, jumps in his helicopter to rescue their flailing asses. I wanted the movie to be about him.***

After seeing all four movies, I am surprised that not one of them took advantage of the Capgras delusion. You’d think a movie that starts out with people stubbornly insisting that their world is suddenly populated with evil impostors would totally jump at the chance to toss in a red herring about an actual neurological condition that causes people to stubbornly insist that their world is suddenly populated by evil impostors. Perhaps I will just have to make my own Body Snatchers movie, since I’ve run out of these. So a shout-out to my movie-making buddy Josh: If you’re reading this, I have a pitch for you!


FAVORITE PART: When the CDC villain guy in the beginning returns from examining the contaminated shuttle debris, walks back through the quarantine tent, strips off his HAZMAT suit, and then immediately bare-hands a piece of fungus-encrusted debris handed to him by a little girl. I half-expected him to start chewing on it, like Wilford Brimley chewing on the pencil eraser he has JUST POKED INTO A GELATINOUS DEAD MASS OF MUTATED NORWEGIANS in John Carpenter's The Thing.


*It still had everything to do with hurting, however.

**Sorry, teen slasher 90s remake, the 30,000 missiles mounted on that one helicopter do not count as a cure. And yes, the aforementioned lack of actual body-snatching makes the possibility of a cure lame, but BY GOD don’t knock the guy who found it.

***It also didn’t hurt that I thought the actor, Jeffrey Wright, was so darn cute I looked him up on Wikipedia, where his bio has the awesome line “Wright was born in Washington, D.C. to a mother who worked as a customs lawyer and a father who died when he was a child.” That right there is linguistic ambiguity at its very best.
bloodyrosemccoy: (Planets)
Watchin’ James Cameron’s Giant Epic Collector’s Extended Super Bonus Edition of Avatar, and the goddamn adorable Sigourney Weavertar is showin’ off her school holding a copy* of—I am not making this up—Dr. Seuss’s The Lorax. This tells me two things:

1. Public education in Space Futureland is about as awful as it is here and now, if the best books you can get were written almost two hundred years ago, and

2. JAMES CAMERON IS FUCKING SUBTLE, YO.

Also, I continue to be highly pleased by the way a certain breed of geek has gotten interested in the Na’vi language. I usually don’t study other people’s conlangs with an intent to become fluent—too busy studying my own—but it’s a lot of fun to know that some people are.

Other Observations

First, I am trying to figure out what is up with Mo’at’s fancy forked pigtail double-queue. Is that what makes her a special shaman? ("Double nerve-braids! SO INTENSE!")

Second, I wish Michelle Rodriguez and Sigourney Weaver were the human protagonists. They are the coolest humans, especially with the added stuff you get in this extended edition. Max also should get to do more.

And third, I am glad that they at least gave Selfridge (SUBTLE!!!!) a slight conscience, and didn’t make him a completely amoral company asshole. It’s possibly one of the most complex bits of characterization in the whole movie. And yes, that really isn’t saying much.

By the way, if you’ve got some hours to spare, the Rifftrax for Avatar is one of the best, containing the single funniest line I’ve ever heard. I would tell it to you, but it needs to be in context. Just know that it's right before the banshee-taming bit.


*Presumably one of those big damn copies librarians use for Story Time, since it was Na'vi-sized.

Durr ...

Mar. 20th, 2011 07:12 pm
bloodyrosemccoy: (DEEP HURTING)
I was planning on editing and posting my latest What I Learned list today, but the combination of a murdersome headache with the Period From Hell has reduced me to the same level of witty articulation as the Drugs Are Like That Twits, so that’s gonna have to wait. Meanwhile, off to have tea and Advil.
bloodyrosemccoy: (Movie Sign)
Wait, how did The Incredible Shrinking Man get an 88% Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes? It consisted of about 20 minutes of stupid plot and then spent the rest of its time padding out the movie with scenes from Castaway: Basement Edition.*

Maybe they got this rating mixed up with the lousy rating they gave Oscar. Fuck you, Oscar is GREAT. Darn critics wouldn't know comedy if it slapped 'em in the face with a fish.

But then, what can I expect from people who'll give a thumbs-up to a movie about a guy's whinily-narrated quest for basement spider cake? You just can't trust someone like that.


DISCUSSION QUESTION: So did these screenwriters from the 50s have a box of magnetic poetry specifically tailored for B-movie filler dialogue? Or did all the masculine manly men back then actually spout long, slightly petulant, buzzword-filled flash floods of bogus philosophy anyway, and it just got translated to the screen?


*Except that I liked Castaway. At least Tom Hanks didn't offer long despondent voiceover monologues. And I seriously doubt our Ken Doll-haired Shrinking Man could make me cry over a volleyball like Tom did.
bloodyrosemccoy: (Toph is Unamused)
So my sister and I saw the Rifftrax for The Last Airbender.*

Wow. That was … impressively bad.

I mean, I’ve seen terrible movies, but I’ve never seen one that was so … artistic about it. There’s something sublime about the way they took a fantastic series—a truly sweeping fantasy story—whitewashed it,** and made it into an experience rather like … well, like watching my screensaver.

Yes, my screensaver specifically. My screensaver is probably a significant portion of my hard drive. It is a slideshow format that cycles through over 4700 images I’ve collected over a decade—concept art, photographs, portraits, drawings, anything that strikes my fancy online hits my screensaver. It rotates silently along, displaying random pretty images that have no real connection, no thread, nothing to tie them together. Just picture, picture, picture. TLA was rather like watching that. It did have pretty set design and costumes (no idea if they had any Asiafail, because I am not an expert, but it sure LOOKED nice), but the images apparently cycled across the screen at random.

Of course, the simile falls apart when you realize that the character sketches that also live on my screensaver were chosen because the characters—who cannot move or speak, as they are static images—were somehow interesting. This never happened in TLA. Nothing happened in TLA.

The attention to detail was the stunning part. Aside from the sets and costumes (which could still be wrong),*** I was impressed at how they managed to get every single thing wrong. Fun highlights:

-The Harpo Guy Jackson Rathbone being chosen for Comic Relief. Remember when you did Read Aloud Time in class and there was always a kid who did not understand that punctuation was there to change how you read something? That was Harpo’s line-reading strategy. He just ran through each word as fast as possible. I never thought I’d say this, but when you’re the comic relief, you do need to mug some, or it looks vaguely creepy. He needed Actual Sokka's advice to do real comic relief. ("Aang, would you say that you and Toph have a ... ROCKY relationship?")

-The pointless conversations between Aasif Mandvi (who is better than this movie) and Cliff Curtis (who is also better than this movie), one of whom can apparently teleport to the other’s house for their scenes. The Firelord is not the immediate antagonist in the first season; he’s a looming threat of Greater Travails To Come. Here he’s just an actor who is rather glad he hasn’t gotten killed in the first ten minutes of the movie, as usually happens to Curtis.

-Uncle E-I-E-I-roh’s accent. He is the only person with an accent. His nephew, his fellow officers, and his brother do not have accents. Nobody does. Just him. (MY SISTER: “You just know he went off to the Spirit World and came back with this pretentious accent—like when some American goes to the UK and comes back sounding like Masterpiece Theater.”)

-Pronouncing “Aang” like you’re a Honker from Sesame Street. My sister and I couldn’t help but honk back every time they’d honk his name, and then we’d collapse into giggles.

In conclusion: The Rifftrax wasn’t all that great, either. Don’t even bother with this movie. You want a good Rifftrax, go watch the OTHER Avatar, the James Cameron one, with Mike, Kevin, and Bill along, because that was goddamn PRICELESS. And then god dammit go watch the animated Avatar series. And if you want a badly cast, not-quite-accurate version of the show that’s actually interesting, the Ember Island Players already got that covered for you in the show itself.

Anyway, off to watch the animated duel between Katara and Master Pakku again. Just, you know, FOR COMPARISON.


*No, don’t panic, nobody got any money from me for that movie, except for the Rifftrax guys. And the public library would, because I got snowed in and couldn’t return it on time, but hell yeah I work there and don’t GET late fees. THAT’S RIGHT YOU WISH YOU WERE ME.

**As a white person, let me just say THANK GOD there were no nonwhite people among the protagonists. Such a thing would obviously have brought my tiny egocentric world crashing down around me because FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE the heroes wouldn’t look like me, and we can’t be having THAT. I was of course threatened enough by the Extras and Villains of Color. Can you imagine the chaos and of course lost revenue I would have generated if anyone in the foreground didn’t have blue eyes? Why, when I saw that the cartoon had no white people I had to lie down on the fainting couch for several hours, and of course I never spent any money buying all three seasons and the big book o’ concept art!

***And one inspired moment when they added a neat effect to that one spoilery thing that happened in Season 1 )
bloodyrosemccoy: (YOU ARE ALL WEIRDOS)
Due to a horrible gelatinous blob of cat on my lap a few days ago, I was unable to flee as I usually do when Mom and my sister turn the DVR to their favorite shows, Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice. This did not go well:

ME: So, this show consists entirely of unlikeable people making the worst possible decisions at any given moment?

MY SISTER: Isn’t it great?

ME: … Remind me again why you didn’t like Cloverfield?

MY SISTER: The camera was too shaky.

ME: Fair enough.

MY SISTER: Not to mention Cloverfield distinctly lacks Taye Diggs taking off his shirt, something this show delivers with great regularity.

ME: Well, as long as you have a good reason.


Just for that I made them watch the Jack Frost MST. If I get stuck watching incompetent doctors whining about how it turns out getting pregnant by their best friend’s husband or whatever was a bad idea, IMAGINE, it’s only fair that they get stuck watching some meat-haired Russian chase feathers and get turned into a bear by a guy in a mushroom hat. Though that logic might just be the head cold talking.

Upside

Dec. 10th, 2010 05:51 pm
bloodyrosemccoy: (Calvin And Uncle Joker)
I'll say one thing for being sick: it leads to some SPECTACULAR dreams. Crazy Dream Europe has GREAT gift shops, amazing nonEuclidean scenery, and of course car chases with the Joker.

Also, the Manos: The Hands of Fate MST is excellent for when you're too sick to think but don't want to sleep all 24 hours. It's like soothing nature sounds. Soothing, badly dubbed, sleazy nature sounds.

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bloodyrosemccoy

July 2016

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