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Jul. 24th, 2025 05:07 pm
kadharonon: (Default)
[personal profile] kadharonon
I keep telling myself I want to start using Dreamwidth more, so time to actually buckle down and start using Dreamwidth more. I suspect part of what's been stopping me is I just in general have less to blog about—my days are pretty samey, most of the time, and I've been re-reading things more than reading new things—but listening to the podcast Eight Days of Diana Wynne Jones has gotten me all hyped up again to go read some of the things she grew up with and had as reading material as a young child instead of books for, y'know, children.

In particular, I want to:
  • do a dive into Arthurian Legend, since I've been existing at a "broader knowledge than the average joe off the street but puddle deep" level of knowledge there since I was a teenager
  • read the rest of the Mabinogion, since we really only covered Pwyll in my Medieval Welsh course
  • read the assorted Icelandic sagas we didn't cover in my freshman year Scandinavian Mythology course 
  • read the rest of the Canterbury tales, I've only read a few of them
  • read the Faerie Queene
Anyway, currently reading Le Morte D'Arthur and no one has ever deserved to go on a murder spree as much as Igraine. I anticipate finding a new woman who deserves to go on a murder spree approximately every 50 pages of this sucker.

Wednesday reading

Jul. 23rd, 2025 05:43 pm
redbird: full bookshelves and table in a library (books)
[personal profile] redbird
I read fewer books than I'd expected to while I was in London. Recently finished:

The Grimoire Grammar School Parent-Teacher Association, by Caitlin Rozakis, is a fantasy novel about a magical school, from the viewpoint of a student's parent.

The Eights, by Joanna Miller, is about four women students who enroll at Oxford University the year the university starts offering degrees to female students. It's set in 1920-21, with flashbacks to earlier in the four women's lives. (The "eights" in the title means the residents of corridor 8.)

Between Silk and Cyanide: A Code-maker's War, by Leo Marks, describes working at one of the British government agencies that sent coded messages to underground agents in occupied Europe during the second world war. The author's job included deciphering messages that were mangled either in transit, or by the agent who encoded them, and coming up with new and hopefully better codes.

Evvie Blake Starts Over, by Linda Holmes, is about a woman who was in the process of leaving her husband when he died in a car accident, and her recovery from both the bad marriage and from all the people who expect her to be grieving him. A romance, more or less.

I enjoyed all of these, and don't remember who recommended any most of them to me ([personal profile] adrian_turtle just reminded me that she recommended The Grimoire Grammar School PTA). There's a range of moods here, less because of planning than because of what came up on my library hold lists.

None of these books are useful for my Boston Public Library summer reading bingo cards: I'd already filled the squares for "book with a name in the title" and "published in 2025." I have a book with a green cover on my desk, and got email while I was in London telling me that it had been automatically renewed for another three weeks.

more notes on the trip to London

Jul. 22nd, 2025 06:54 pm
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea, in a friend's kitchen (Default)
[personal profile] redbird
In no particular order:

Mom wanted my cousin Janet to have two rings, and two specific books, and we couldn't find any of them, despite searching repeatedly. This doesn't make sense: if only the jewelry was missing, it might conceivably have been stolen, even though other appealing jewelry was in her bedroom closet, including the few items that are mentioned in the will. If it was just those two used books, maybe they were put away somewhere safe. But there's no reason the rings and books would have been in the same place, where we couldn't find them while going through things that thoroughly.

Mark was already planning to take all of Mom's unclaimed jewelry back to New Orleans, photograph it, and offer it to our cousins. Because the rings Mom promised Janet are missing, he's going to give Janet first pick. (He, Linza, and the three of us have already looked at it, and taken a few things.)


The whole process was very amicable. We weren't arguing over who could take something that wasn't specifically left to either me or my brother, but agreeing that Mom's crystal might be pretty, but wasn't worth trying to take home on the plane. Instead, Mark took a glass bowl that a friend of his made, and Andy took a small piece of cranberry glass. There were two envelopes of paper money; we split the pounds, and I told Mark to take all the euros, because he's probably going to visit the EU fairly soon.

There were more than enough good photos of Mom, her parents, and other relatives for me and Mark to take home, in some cases duplicate prints of the same picture. I labeled a few photos of people I wasn't sure I'd recognize if not, including a couple of pictures of my paternal grandparents, and one of Dad's older sister. I decided I wanted my mother's first US passport, from a trip to Europe in 1953, and her resident alien card (from before they were green).

Mark took some photos and documents home because he thought Janet would want them, and he was willing to schlep things for her. I'm not sure if that's because he's one of the executors of the will, or simple generosity.


As we were packing yesterday, we decided to take Mom's salt and pepper grinders: they have no sentimental value, but we've been unhappy with both our current pepper grinders and one of our salt shakers.

[personal profile] otter's comment reminded me that there also is, or may be, a gold charm bracelet that belonged to our grandmother. Janet asked to buy it from me and Mark, but we didn't find it either, only a different gold charm bracelet that belonged to Simon's first wife. The one we found is in the will as going to his daughter Liz, and after Mark took a picture, Liz confirmed that the bracelet we found was her mother's, and Janet didn't recognize it. We left that in the flat, because Liz will be in London in a few months. It's possible, though not likely, that my aunt Lea had the bracelet Janet wants, and that it's still in her and Dave's apartment. We asked Lea's daughter Anne, who doesn't have it but is going to ask Dave.

If Dave finds it, or if the bracelet turns up a few months from now at Mom's flat, we'll give it to Janet, not sell it, but we're waiting until the bracelet turns up before telling her that.

[I am adding to this as I think of other things that seem to belong here.]

Well, I'm home

Jul. 22nd, 2025 08:36 am
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea, in a friend's kitchen (Default)
[personal profile] redbird
We got home last night, very late in terms of the time zone we woke up in yesterday morning, then spent some time petting and playing with the cats, eating chocolate and ice cream, and unpacking a few things that I needed or wanted right away (slippers, toothbrush, and prescription drugs). I washed a few dishes, because I walked into the kitchen for chocolate and saw that we were almost out of clean mugs in the size we'd want for tea and coffee in the morning.

The trip home was OK as these things go: I ordered a cab to take us to Heathrow, using the service Mom always used, and paid in cash using my half of the British money she'd had in an envelope, including a generous tip for the driver. We had time to finish things like washing our dishes and clearing Mom's data off her computer before leaving, and enough time at the airport to be at the gate before boarding started, but not enough to get bored. I arranged the cab, and got us all aisle seats for the flight home, on Sunday, and then turned everything over to Cattitude and Adrian once we got to Heathrow. By the time we got off the plane, I was so worn out that I was stopping occasionally to lean on the walls in the airport, but fortunately doing better once we got home.

I woke up this morning at 7:30 Boston time, which seemed good--about 7.5 hours sleep, and back on my home time zone. The milk from before we left was iffy but the cut of tea tasted OK. The igniters for the stove burners didn't work when I turned them on, but I remembered both that we have long matches for just this purpose, and where we keep them, so that was OK for the moment, and we can investigate that further when Adrian and Cattitude are also awake.

We plan to do very little today: order groceries, unpack, and I might inject the about-monthly dose of my current MS medication, which I take every 4-6 weeks, and would have taken Saturday if we'd been home). Some balance PT would also be a good idea.

National Gallery

Jul. 20th, 2025 09:14 pm
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea, in a friend's kitchen (Default)
[personal profile] redbird
We went into central London this afternoon, intending to visit the British Museum, but we made a very late start, and after our late lunch discovered they were sold out of (free) tickets for today.

So we went to the National Gallery, a few bus stops away, and looked at paintings. I wasn't up for a huge amount of walking, but bny the time I was ready to leave, so were Adrian and Cattitude. We spent a few minutes just enjoyong being in Trafalgar Square on a sunny afternoon, then walked to Charing Cross to get the Underground. Annoyingly, while it was (as whichever app Cattitude was using said) only a few minutes walk to Charing Cross, there was a lot more walking underground, and we had to go down several flights of stairs.

ETA: I was emotionally worn out to the point that I was glad it was just the three of us yesterday, not socializing with anyone else. I hadn't realized that beforehand, only that I was tired enough that committing to anything involving other people seemed imprudent. Being around my brother for most of several consecutive days was a lot of 'there are people here,' even though, or because, much of it wasn't socializing so much as being near each other and sometimes asking whether we needed, or wanted, various items.

I was pleasantly surprised by how little my joints hurt by the time we got back to Mom's flat. I took both naproxen and acetominophen before we left, and wore my better walking shoes and a pair of smartwool socks, and the combination sdeems to have done me a lot of good.

We're flying home tomorrow. I booked a cab, which will pick us up at 2:15, and logged onto the British Airways website and changed the (acceptable) seats it had assigned us to ones we like better (I got us all aisle seats, instead of all next to each other so one person was in a middle seat).

A pretty Sith Lord warriors post

Jul. 20th, 2025 06:40 am
archangelbeth: An egyptian-inspired eye, centered between feathered wings. (Default)
[personal profile] archangelbeth

Scene: the ex-Padawan is having an emotional breakdown because oh no, it's so scary having emotions and she hates having friends.

The Main Character is comforting her about this, and draws out that the reason the ex-Padawan is upset is that she's afraid something will happen to her friends.

So the MC gives a speech about, "it's okay to be afraid. But use your fear. Let it become anger that anyone would threaten your friends! Let the anger give you power, to fight to protect everyone you care about!"

(I had a better line earlier but it's nearly 7am and I need sleep...)

Sent from my iPhone

Mission accomplished

Jul. 19th, 2025 10:36 pm
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea, in a friend's kitchen (Default)
[personal profile] redbird

We are essentially done at Mom’s flat. I didn’t have a lot to do today, but am still tired. We will decide tomorrow what if anything we want to do.

Leaving for Boston Monday afternoon.

We had Chinese food delivered tonight, and it was basic good Cantonese food. They included a small bag of those weird shrimp chips, which I turned out to be in the mood for.

not quite done

Jul. 19th, 2025 10:43 am
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea, in a friend's kitchen (Default)
[personal profile] redbird
We expected to finish going through Mom's papers, photos, etc. yesterday, but despite me and \mark both pushing hard, we realized in the late afternoon that we were both badly worn out, so we stopped. He left, and I got Adrian and Cattitude to tale care of me. I was worn out both mentally and physically; Adrian pointed out that I had worked steadily for longer than the previous couple of days. Mark will coming back to the flat in a bit, but we did not set an alarm, because I needed the rest.

We reached a point yesterday that I could be satisfied just packing everything the three of us have decided to take--photos, the gorgeous candlesticks Mom left to Adrian (officially to me, but she had discussed them with Acrian), and a few other small mementoes, but there's a stack of paper that Mark wants to take a second look at: he was looking for financial paperwork as well as photos and other mementoes. It felt like it might be 45 minutes more work today, but could take three times as long if we had tried to push through last night.

I told Cattitude and Adrian to go out and play yesterday, so they spent the afternoon at Kew Gardens. It is raining steadily now, and forecast to do so for several hours. I'm thinking I want to not do much today, just finish the tasks here, and maybe go out and do something interesting tomorrow, before leaving for Boston on Monday.

I am very glad we saw [personal profile] liv on Tuesday, when we were still feeling energetic.

London, Thursdauy morning

Jul. 17th, 2025 08:07 am
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea, in a friend's kitchen (Default)
[personal profile] redbird
We got a lot done yesterday and today, Mark and I sorted through a bunch of stuff on Tuesday, and talked to Ralph (Mom's stepson) and figuring out which things are his/his sister's, and then which withim that what people actually want. Legally, he and Liz own the flat and some of the contents (specified). In practice, there are things none of us want, partly because of geography: Ralph doesn't need furniture, and he's the only one of us who lives anywhere nearby. So it's mostly what has sentimental value, like Simon's family china.

To our London friends: If we get enough done today, we might still be able to see people tomorrow or Saturday, but I don't know yet.

I also got into a stupid argument Tuesday afternoon with Ralph's wife Jenny, who was trying to convince me that my brother and I had some kind of obligation to arrange for clearing out everything that nobody wants, so Liz (Ralph's s sister) can sell the flat. This started with me telling her that we hadn't traveled from the US to be unpaid labor clearing out a flat for someone else to sell, and then on the third time she cirled back to telling her that by insulting my recently deceased mother she wasn't helping. |She said she wasn't trying to help, I told her to at least stop hurting then, and walked away from the conversation. My brother is one of the executor's of the will, so maybe has some obligations here, but Ralph and Liz own the flat now--my mother had a life tenancy and then it went too her stepchildren. I emerged a while later to find that Mark, Ralph, and Jenny had made a bit more progress in figuring things out.

They left here at about five, and Cattitude and Adrian went shopping to buy a few groceries.

[personal profile] liv, who is staying part-time in a flat half a mile from here, came over for the evening, and we had a very good, long visit. Adrian cooked dinner in an unfamiliar kitchen; I'd checked with Live a fw hours earlier about dietary restrictions. The original plan was just for her to come over here, where we can sit in the back garden, but one advantage of that is being able to comfortably share meals with people.

Wednesday was productive, sorting through papers and Mom's jewelry and a few oddments. The will leaves a few specific pieces of jewelry to Simon's daughter and two of my cousins, so we need(ed) to locate those. Beyond that we can do whatever seems good, and had agreed to offer things we didn't want to our cousins. We've found one piece Adrian is taking, and there's a bracelet of Grandma's that my cousin Janet asked us to sell her. If we find it, it's Janet's, as a gift.

After Mark and Linza left, the three of us decompressed a bit. After supper, I sorted through a bunch of [photos, pulling out a few that I want and/or thought Mark would want to least see. My mother's youth hostel card, signed by her and Grandpa, was in an envelope, along with a 1949 student discount subway pass, which got her free or discounted trips home from school. Thirty-odd years later, they were giving us passes good for free trips both ways, but only after the first few weeks of the semester.

In going through papers, and figuring out what we need, including things the executors and Mom's account might need, we have so far found four social security cards. What seems to be the original has a number stamped on it rather than neatly printed. One of the others makes sense in that it has her second married name on it--Eve Rosenzweig Kugler--but four still seems like a lot.

I'm going to post this and have some breakfast.

meanwhile...

Jul. 13th, 2025 12:56 am
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea, in a friend's kitchen (Default)
[personal profile] redbird
Quoted in the Yale alumni magazine: "You know the world is going crazy when Yale alums are making donations to Harvard!"

(This Yale alum donates to the United Negro College Fund, because they need it more than Yale does.)

Family resemblances are complicated

Jul. 12th, 2025 05:49 pm
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea, in a friend's kitchen (Default)
[personal profile] redbird
via [personal profile] oursin, something I found interesting: We still don't understand family resemblance, and some of what we thought we knew is mistaken, or might be.

This article describes research that used data from almost a million people: every Norwegian student who took a standardized test from 2007-2019.

Quoting the article: "The resemblance of twins cannot be reconciled with any model....The resemblance of adoptees cannot be reconciled with any model."

Adjusting a model to account better for twins makes it a poorer match of adoptive relationships, and vice versa. Any attempt to account for one of these moves the model away adopted siblings makes it fit twins less well, and vice versa.
cut for length )

we will be visiting London

Jul. 12th, 2025 11:42 am
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea, in a friend's kitchen (Default)
[personal profile] redbird
Cattitude, Adrian, and I are going to be in London for a week, starting Monday July 14th. This trip is partly so my brother and I can sort out my mother's things, including photos and papers, but we should have some free time to see people and/or do tourist things.

We'd like to get together with people. I realize this is somewhat last-minute as well as vague, since we don't know how much time we'll have available.

I have visited London several times, but that trip to see my mother in April was Adrian's first visit to England; Cattitude was three with me for a week in 2001.

We mask indoors, but it's July, so we're hoping for restaurants with outdoor seating.

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