The Desert Mermaid

So I went on another Eclipse Adventure!

THE BIG TOTAL SOLAR ECLIPSE OF 2017

ME: Wow, I would have to go slightly north to see totality! I am not up for a traffic-jammed road trip
ME: I volunteer to stay at the Space Place and do Eclipse Activities, allowing my other coworkers to travel!
ME: In exchange, I only ask for a suitcase full of money
SPACE PLACE:
ME: Or the next couple of eclipses guaranteed off
SPACE PLACE: eh, sure

PREVIOUSLY ON ECLIPSE ADVENTURE:

A traffic-jammed road trip!

THE NOT-VERY-CLOSE PATH OF TOTALITY

ME: Good news, bro! I'm gonna be in your direction! How about if I send you a map of totality and you pick a city to meet me in?
MY BROTHER: Oh, you want me to do a traffic-jammed road trip? I see how it is
ME: Also, I will be taking the train because air travel is LITERALLY THE WORST
MY BROTHER: Okay. How's Buffalo, New York sound?
ME: I dunno, how's the springtime weather in Buffalo?
BROTHER: Unpredictable. But you can see my new house and hang out with Burgie for a day!
ME: SOLD

So I bought a make-your-own-unicorn kit as an offering for Burgie and was on my way!

( FRIENDLY FACES EVERYWHERE; HUMBLE FOLKS WITHOUT TEMPTATION )

I still don't get why people care so much about this, but some of these tweets did make me laugh.


"Yeah! Next is EARTH! I'm gonna demote EARTH! YEAH, YOUR WORST NIGHTMARES ARE COMIN' TRUE!"

Even at the beginning I was completely baffled by the backlash. I myself was pleased that we had reclassified it, since it showed that we are discovering more things and fine-tuning our understanding of classifications. We were creating more order.

But we get these protests all the time at the Space Place. It's crazy. A lot of these kids weren't even born when they changed Pluto's status. But we've made such a big deal that kids identify with the underdog.

So I've started to combat that. I've been explaining that Pluto's like the Ugly Duckling.

That's right, the story by Hans Christian Anderson about a little duckling who was, frankly, really bad at being a duck. Duckhood was beyond him, and he was weird and left out. At least he was until he realized something--he wasn't a duck at all, dammit, he was a SWAN, and presumably he was a lot better at being a swan.*

Same thing with Pluto, I tell the kids. It was really weird and bad at being a planet--until we figured out that it wasn't a planet at all! It was a DWARF PLANET, and there were other dwarf planets it could be friends with, and it was a forerunner for the new category and probably was a lot happier now, god dammit.

Hey, it's another story kids identify with. Maybe this will be enough to make them happy.

Or maybe the New Horizons photos will. I dunno. Pluto's not my thing, but it's still gonna be fun to see what it looks like. Just a few more months!


Discussion Question: Do you guys know the difference between a solar system and a galaxy? I'm always surprised at how many people don't. NDT isn't the only one who is quite used to getting that confusion.


*Though having been raised by ducks, he probably wasn't really exemplary at swanning, but he did find himself in a unique position to be able to bridge the gap between ducks and swans in the neverending duck/swan conflicts and perhaps lead the way toward peace between all waterfowl. But that's getting a bit esoteric for a fable about scientific reclassification.

Oh, man! How did I not know about these fantastic posters sooner? Exoplanet travel posters? So dang cool!

(PS: Can I tell you how happy I was when the above icon there, the great Steve Thomas's Venus by Air, is slightly more realistic now? That is kind of hilarious.)

Hey, this is pretty cool: Curiosity found a big burst of methane on Mars!

Because my brain is wired for sci-fi, my natural first response is "COULD THAT BE LITTLE FARTING MICROBES," which is only one possibility out of a lot of "probably not life" possibilities, so this isnt conclusive. But it sure is interesting, isn't it?

My buddy, the one who got me to apply for the job at the Space Place, has a Moon Baby now! And he's a bit dazed.

ME: How's baby stuff?
HIM: Constant. Did you know babies are boring? And gross?
ME: Well, you've still got a bit of time to mess with her newborn reflexes! That's good for a little entertainment, right?
HIM: That's true. And I think she's starting to actually maybe focus her eyes a little bit on me, which is cool!
ME: That's always nice. Let me know if you ever need me to just come over and hold the baby so you guys can get some sleep, though.

I also offered to do a dome shift on Saturday so he wouldn't have to come in. He agreed, which means I'm shadowing one of his underlings, with the heavily implied caveat that I need to stop by his desk afterward tomorrow so that he can tell me all the things she got wrong about how to do the job.* I think I'm gonna like doing dome shows.

Also, a coworker I got into one of those weird arguments today where the other person feels the need to Well Actually you and then proceeds to tell you exactly what you just said. I was talking with a different coworker about reworking the best way to present a half hour lesson about all the technnology in the solar system and mentioned how we ought to add that it wasn't just the telescope, but also the invention of new and exciting kinds of math, that helped us accurately describe the solar system heliocentrically and move away from Aristotle and Ptolemy's incorrect geocentric stuff with the epicycles and so forth, and the guy in the next cubicle overheard.

GUY: Well, actually, in defense of Ptolemy, his epicycles were a fairly good model, and he was a mathematical genius.
ME: Yeah, I mean, he was working with what he knew, and it was a good model, but it was also wrong. I'm talking about how we advanced our knowledge ...
GUY: You realize that it wasn't just the telescope, though? It was Newton's calculus that helped define planetary motions.
ME: Yeah, that's what I was going to mention as the "new kinds of math." But like I said, I have half an hour to get kids from what we can see with just our eyes to Mars rovers and comet landers giving us more accurate pictures ...
GUY: You can't go pooh-poohing Ptolemy for not having the technology we have now to observe things!
ME: EVERY SINGLE THING YOU'RE TELLING ME IS SOMETHING I JUST SAID.

I may have been a little on edge because I was having a bit of a difficult time keeping the other coworker, the one who I was originally talking to about the lesson plan, from opening six new tabs every time he got to another of my bullet points in order to explain to me other things I had just said. I apologized for snapping, but sometimes it's the only way to get people to hear me.

So, yeah. The Space Place job is still a job, with all its frustrations and annoyances. But by god I get to tell kids awesome things about space, and I can spend time between dome shows secretly pretending I'm hanging out on Ganymede or hanging out in lunar orbit during lunar eclipses, so I would say this job is still pretty damn fantastic anyway.


*This particular dome tech has been working there for over a decade and clearly no longer cares. I think she is actually asleep when she does her night sky presentations. Which is actually pretty inspiring, because I am eager to say "Dude, just ... let ME do this" and take over.

New term for "lab coat": "science shirt."

I love it when kids don't know the names for things they recognize and have to make up their own.

Got to freeze a marshmallow with liquid nitrogen and then stick it in a vacuum chamber today.

Did I mention this job is great? This job is great.

I was sitting with my fellow Space Place Educators today, waiting for the next presentation and discussing things like the merits of Dragonlance* and the questions Darmok raises about the Universal Translator and how Cracked is more journalistic than actual journalism (I have found my people), and suddenly another Space Placer dashes over.

"You've got to come outside!" she yelled. "There's some kind of rainbow thing you've got to see!"

So we all followed her outside, and sure enough there was a goddamn fire rainbow** hanging in the east, over my mountain.

Once again, living in a panorama has its advantages. I think I've seen circumhorizon arcs before, but it was never quite as dramatic as the one in the link. This one showed you why the term FIRE RAINBOW was used. Because dang, that thing may not be fire OR a rainbow, but by god it's majestic enough that it needs a majestic name.


*Raistlin, pretty much. And maybe Caramon, but only in the context of Raistlin.

**Okay, yeah, officially they're called circumhorizon arcs, but screw you, FIRE RAINBOW is way cooler. As a coworker put it, "Well, now that I know it's called a FIRE RAINBOW I have to go look at it again!"

I've already got a reputation here at the Space Place. Every time I'm introduced to someone, they say, "Are you Jordan's Friend?"* Perhaps this means he's been talking about me. I think that's good news.

Anyway, just to add a thin layer of anonymity to this, I'm not gonna name the actual facility. Let's just say it will be the Space Place That Will Remain Super Secretly Nameless, But Totally Has:

• Exhibits like Guess Your Weight On Other Planets, moon rocks, interactive simulations of planetary orbits, planet surfaces, and some kind of Rube Goldbergy exhibit with springs and levers and balls and dinging bells that you can interact with,


• A giant spherical screen in the lobby that can project rotating simulations of each solar system planet and climates and tectonics and so forth (and also, because it is programmed by supernerds, has a Death Star mode and an OMG WTF GIANT EYEBALL MODE like you've just run into the second scariest thing in Super Mario 64.**),


• A dome theater,


• Crazy science demonstrations, and


• The most unbelievably awesome gift shop ever. No, seriously, you guys. I am buying all my presents from this place from now on. Have a wedding? Birthday? Housewarming? Xmas? YOU ALL GET MYTHBUSTERS SCIENCE KITS, DAMMIT.

So yeah, this totally secret Space Place is GREAT.

Anyway, my job is in education presentations to K-12 school groups, so I get to work with the sphere, dome, and the secret bonus third option for schools to far away to drive all the way to Space Place, Skype + Magic Educational Remote View. All of these use simulation programs to check out stuff like What's In The Sky and The Sun Is A Mass Of Incandescent Gas and Plate Tectonics and so forth. I've spent the last few days watching presentations in each of these media. It looks like a goddamn ton of fun, though I suspect the first time I try each one myself will be TERRIFYING.*** But first I've got to learn all the equipment, so next week I get to futz with the software and maybe make the eyeball follow patrons and see if any of them know that the secret is to run around it until it explodes into coins. It should get easier when the school year ends in a few weeks and I'll have time to do that. Later on, probably starting next school year, I get to travel to schools and demonstrate Cool Science to them.

I'm gonna have FUN here.

By the way, as you may expect, this place is full of nerds. Silly mustaches abound, one guy was telling me about the comic he's working on, I'm not gonna say who but ONE of us is trying to sell a YA fantasy novel and is (re)writing one about Doctors! In! SPACE!!, and I am pretty sure D&D groups figure into the weekly event schedule. There's even one guy who has been to Kenya, so even if we aren't talking strictly about NERD stuff, we still have things to connect on. I think I will do well here.

Plus, seriously, y'all, this gift shop. I am going to own more science bullshit than will fit in my house. I am okay with this.


*Except for the guy there who used to be my acting teacher back when I was, like, twelve. He knows me as "Mia." I know no one cares, but this guy was great back then, and it's a huge kick to talk to him again.

**Yes, second. Seriously, fuck that piano.

***The other "new" guy, who's been working in Concessions for years but is now graduating to an Edumacator, got to do his first ever presentation yesterday. Poor dope did well but was clearly flying on an adrenalin high.

My new summer tradition seems to be Trying Out New Jobs At Education Centers.

So anyway I got this job. AT A SPACE PLACE.

Soon, hopefully, I will have a part-time job as Carl Sagan/Neil DeGrasse Tyson/Bill Nye/Ms. Frizzle.* I get to tell school kids Cool Stuff About Space! I tell people that sort of stuff all the time anyway, so might as well do it for money.

Although I've got to say that hands down that was the best job interview I've ever had. Probably it's because I've known one of the interviewers since we were in fourth grade together. We spent part of the interview reminiscing about that time in sixth grade when our class went on a field trip to some weird educational starship LARP thing** and he and I were behind-the-scenes "Mission Control," and then we all geeked out about Star Trek. I am pretty sure the line "Have you read Redshirts?" is what actually got me the job. (At least, I assume. Next time I go to a job interview, when they ask me what my weakness is I'm gonna say "job interviews." Because I'm shit at them. Any time someone tells me they were really impressed by how I handled myself during one, I have to suppress the urge to say, "Really?" Even on this one, where we spent 90% of the time just geeking out. THe 10% where I had to sell myself was what got me.)

So! It sounds like they actually have a job description in place for me alread, so they're one step up from the abortive museum job last year. Although I still DO have to do the Official Application now that they've already given me the job, because I guess bureaucrats want you to prove your devotion to the job or something.

Mom's a bit bummed out that it might cut into my time at the office, mostly because doing the office sucks when you're by yourself. And I hate change, so I'm not sure how I feel about this, either, but I think it's good for me. Change is rough, man.

On the other hand, I get to wear a lab coat. That should make it all worthwhile.


*I realize that one of those things is not like the others, but dammit Ms. Frizzle has been one of my heroes for forever, fictional wizard or not.

**I have no idea what that was about, but that was an awesome field trip.