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(no subject)
Mar. 30th, 2014 05:44 pmNot sure about this Earl Grey soda. Its taste is ... somehow off. I think a rogue microbe may have found its way into the batch. Will have to try again!
Bits of Things
Mar. 28th, 2014 08:20 pmThere are some bottles of experimental Earl Grey cream soda settling up in the fridge. I'll let y'all know how it tastes. If it goes well, I may try some Pride of the Port soda next.
---
Have been taking up jewelry-making again. Taking chainmaille a bit more seriously this time around. It's always difficult to get started with something, but this place has a few great starter kits. Plus, it's got colorful jump rings, and I am a sucker for colors. So far I'm trying a simple Box Chain rainbow necklace. I'm idiotically proud of how closely I'm managing to get the jump rings closed.
---
In the meantime, I've come across some pretty nifty-looking images of handmade LED Zelda-style Fairy-Inna-Bottle necklaces, but none of them are for sale. So I went with the next logical course of action and decided to make it myself.
Problem is, my knowlege of electricity is roughly that of a fifth-grader working through Fifty Fun Science Projects You Can Do At Home: something something battery something zinc copper something something circuit something LIGHT! And, y'know, for some reason I've picked up the impression that a potato is involved somehow. So I called my brother, what with him being an electrical engineer and all,* and he offered me some tips. The rest has been trial, error, and a lot of Googling. Oh, and gathering components. Once I get that done, the rest should be easy.
---
Mom got herself some roller skates, too. Now we just have to find a place to skate--outdoors, possibly, as spring gets moving.
---
I have mastered the art of Fish'n'Chips. I'd make myself a medal, but I'm already making a few other necklaces, and that would just be redundant.
*On the one hand, this a running joke along the lines of asking a linguist how many languages they speak. "Can you program my TV? I mean, you ARE an electrician!" No, he's an electrical engineer. On the other hand, though, I figured he probably knew a LITTLE more about practical circuitry than me and my potato.
---
Have been taking up jewelry-making again. Taking chainmaille a bit more seriously this time around. It's always difficult to get started with something, but this place has a few great starter kits. Plus, it's got colorful jump rings, and I am a sucker for colors. So far I'm trying a simple Box Chain rainbow necklace. I'm idiotically proud of how closely I'm managing to get the jump rings closed.
---
In the meantime, I've come across some pretty nifty-looking images of handmade LED Zelda-style Fairy-Inna-Bottle necklaces, but none of them are for sale. So I went with the next logical course of action and decided to make it myself.
Problem is, my knowlege of electricity is roughly that of a fifth-grader working through Fifty Fun Science Projects You Can Do At Home: something something battery something zinc copper something something circuit something LIGHT! And, y'know, for some reason I've picked up the impression that a potato is involved somehow. So I called my brother, what with him being an electrical engineer and all,* and he offered me some tips. The rest has been trial, error, and a lot of Googling. Oh, and gathering components. Once I get that done, the rest should be easy.
---
Mom got herself some roller skates, too. Now we just have to find a place to skate--outdoors, possibly, as spring gets moving.
---
I have mastered the art of Fish'n'Chips. I'd make myself a medal, but I'm already making a few other necklaces, and that would just be redundant.
*On the one hand, this a running joke along the lines of asking a linguist how many languages they speak. "Can you program my TV? I mean, you ARE an electrician!" No, he's an electrical engineer. On the other hand, though, I figured he probably knew a LITTLE more about practical circuitry than me and my potato.
Beverage News
Mar. 10th, 2014 12:09 pmTried both a sassafras and a sarsaparilla (also with sassafras). I think I prefer the straight sassafras, though I'm going to have to add some vanilla to the next batch. I am pretty sure the commercial root beers use vanilla. And the sarsaparilla is better with the addition of the cherry syrup I got from Hire's Big H, the local die-hard 50's-style drive-in diner, because on its own it tastes like another kind of Ent-draught.
A big success was the recipe the book referred to as "Chinese Restaurant Ginger Beer," which is only called that because it uses orange extract and lemon juice, rather like the sauces used in Chinese restaurants. And of course there's the liquid cinnamon-roll cream soda. So yeah, I am getting the hang of this!
Next up I'm gonna experiment with tea, and also with hibiscus. We'll have to see how it goes.
In other beverage news, while tracking down that hibiscus,* I managed to locate Honeybush tea! Haven't had any since those sons of Mitch at Celestial Seasonings discontinued their Peach Apricot Honeybush, in the neverending saga of Things That Get Discontinued As Soon As I Discover I Like Them. I definitely prefer it over rooibos, but it's harder to find. Now I can experiment with mixing up blends of it myself, dangit!
I am having entirely too much fun with food chemistry. Somebody stop me.
*I'm going to have to start making my own hibiscus tea. Once again, my favorite kind of hibiscus tea was, naturally, discontinued. Since then I've been seeking out a good replacement, but every time I find a likely-looking candidate I check the ingredients and some asshole has added STEVIA to the blend. I curse the day somebody decided to use stevia as a sweetener.
A big success was the recipe the book referred to as "Chinese Restaurant Ginger Beer," which is only called that because it uses orange extract and lemon juice, rather like the sauces used in Chinese restaurants. And of course there's the liquid cinnamon-roll cream soda. So yeah, I am getting the hang of this!
Next up I'm gonna experiment with tea, and also with hibiscus. We'll have to see how it goes.
In other beverage news, while tracking down that hibiscus,* I managed to locate Honeybush tea! Haven't had any since those sons of Mitch at Celestial Seasonings discontinued their Peach Apricot Honeybush, in the neverending saga of Things That Get Discontinued As Soon As I Discover I Like Them. I definitely prefer it over rooibos, but it's harder to find. Now I can experiment with mixing up blends of it myself, dangit!
I am having entirely too much fun with food chemistry. Somebody stop me.
*I'm going to have to start making my own hibiscus tea. Once again, my favorite kind of hibiscus tea was, naturally, discontinued. Since then I've been seeking out a good replacement, but every time I find a likely-looking candidate I check the ingredients and some asshole has added STEVIA to the blend. I curse the day somebody decided to use stevia as a sweetener.
(no subject)
Jun. 4th, 2013 10:53 pmI'm sure you'll all be relieved to know that this Earl Grey tea I'm drinking is gluten-free.
I was worried there for a minute.
I was worried there for a minute.
Ocarina + Tea. It's Like They Know Me.
Feb. 14th, 2013 11:18 pmApparently around here it's mug-smashing season. Over the past month we've managed to smash a whole bunch of mugs around here, including, tragically, my two favorite mugs. Dangit, I really liked that grey stoneware mug.
So as a consolation prize, and also showing my foolhardy optimism when it is uncertain whether mug-smashing season is over, I've ordered a couple new things to drink out of.
Like this:
BUT HEY WHAT IS THAT? It's not a mug, and also it has holes in it. What gives?
Dudes, you are looking at my very own musical teacup, a Teacarina.
Yes, the thing is totally musical, and a mouthpiece is set in the rim. It's a four-hole ocarina that plays one octave in the key of C.
Also, you can put tea in it.
A shot of the interior, because it is pretty.
It's not as big as my late lamented Favorite Mug, but by god it makes music, and it's kind of fun to see how the music changes when you actually have tea in it and the temperature does things to the resonating chamber. Though I wouldn't recommend playing too vigorously that way. Seems like a good way to get tea up your nose.
Let's hope teacups are exempt from mug-smashing season, because this thing's going to provide me hours of entertainment.
So as a consolation prize, and also showing my foolhardy optimism when it is uncertain whether mug-smashing season is over, I've ordered a couple new things to drink out of.
Like this:
BUT HEY WHAT IS THAT? It's not a mug, and also it has holes in it. What gives?
Dudes, you are looking at my very own musical teacup, a Teacarina.
Yes, the thing is totally musical, and a mouthpiece is set in the rim. It's a four-hole ocarina that plays one octave in the key of C.
Also, you can put tea in it.
A shot of the interior, because it is pretty.
It's not as big as my late lamented Favorite Mug, but by god it makes music, and it's kind of fun to see how the music changes when you actually have tea in it and the temperature does things to the resonating chamber. Though I wouldn't recommend playing too vigorously that way. Seems like a good way to get tea up your nose.
Let's hope teacups are exempt from mug-smashing season, because this thing's going to provide me hours of entertainment.
(no subject)
Jan. 3rd, 2013 07:03 pmIt is not supposed to get above 22 degrees tonight.
I think it's a very good night to curl up in my pajamas with a heating pad and read all six volumes of Digger while drinking tea.
I think it's a very good night to curl up in my pajamas with a heating pad and read all six volumes of Digger while drinking tea.
The Life Experience ~ Summer '12
Sep. 22nd, 2012 05:00 pmWhat I Learned Since The Summer Solstice
- Neil Armstrong was, in fact, mortal.
- Whorf was half-right on his hypothesis that language affects perception. It seems that once you have a word for a color, you can recognize it faster because the left hemisphere of your brain takes over the perception duties.
- Leafminers are gross little bugs whose larvae like to live in bubbles on spinach, chard, and beet leaves. Bastards.
- Nail polish is good if you want to make your arts'n'crafts project look shiny and enameled. And if you can stand the smell.
- Malaria is believed to be responsible for the death of HALF OF ALL HUMANS since the Stone Age. NOT ME, THOUGH, SUCKA!
- The name "Starbuck," which I have always liked for the sound, is an English surname most likely deriving from a Norse phrase for "from the great river."
- Sometimes the supposed Great Unwashed Masses can be persuaded with actual facts and math!
- Those swinging orange things on Yoshi's sprite in Super Mario World, which I always thought were stirrups or decorations for his saddle, are his ARMS. I can't unsee them now.
- Those SOS buttons for old or at-risk people living alone are only useful if they actually HAVE them when they fall and can't get up.
- Tress MacNeille did the voice of Chip in Chip an' Dale: Rescue Rangers. I always thought he was done by Russi Taylor.
- Radish seeds come in nifty little pods!
- According to a statement released by the Mormon Church, Mormons are TOTALLY allowed to drink caffeinated products like Coke and Mountain Dew. The real ban is against "hot drinks" like tea and coffee, but not hot cocoa, which is totally cool for some reason. Thanks for clearing that up, church!
- Tiny laptops are extraordinarily useful to be able to carry around.
- Ron Perlman continues to forge new frontiers in awesome.
- The best way to fix Doctors! is to pretty much rewrite it.
- Jeans shopping is still my enemy.
- Statistics show that group projects lower productivity pretty much across the board, even with those extroverts who seem to like them so much.
- Jumpsuits are not that difficult to sew, though practice is called for to get particularly good.
- When hooking up a new plastic toilet pump, it is perfectly okay to use one of the previous metal nuts to secure it, as long as you make sure there is no leakage.
- Apparently I've been growing feverfew in my garden and had no idea.
- Honor Harrington is THE SHIT.
- I still have a chestburster. Bring me more purple stuff!
Music Is A Mystery
Jun. 7th, 2012 10:23 pmThe problem with a musical instrument with a range of about an octave and a half is making the songs fit on it. Normally this isn't a huge issue, since songs mostly tend to stay within that range, but it can be a bit awkward when you're trying to play, say, Frank Mills's "Music Box Dancer" and your ocarina only goes up to F over tenor C.
So I had to move the darn thing to from C-Major to F-Major. Fortunately, figuring out how to do that is one of the few lessons that stuck after seven years' worth of piano and bass lessons. But then, the bass lessons never got near tenor C anyway, so I suppose you can't fault me there.
Anyway, THE POINT IS I'm still playing the ocarina, and it still works as an effective cat-summoner. Perhaps next I'll combine two of my passions and get one of these. Figure out a way to add pens or dolls into the mix, and I will be set forever.
So I had to move the darn thing to from C-Major to F-Major. Fortunately, figuring out how to do that is one of the few lessons that stuck after seven years' worth of piano and bass lessons. But then, the bass lessons never got near tenor C anyway, so I suppose you can't fault me there.
Anyway, THE POINT IS I'm still playing the ocarina, and it still works as an effective cat-summoner. Perhaps next I'll combine two of my passions and get one of these. Figure out a way to add pens or dolls into the mix, and I will be set forever.
Somehow, without my realizing it, someone waved a magic wand and turned me into a minor name player in a TV serial. The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of other people’s problems appearing in my life—and I am completely useless at other people’s problems. I mostly just sit there and say “Gee, that’s too bad” and offer them more food. This had better blow over soon, or I will rack up one hell of a grocery bill.
I have a great deal of respect for CSI guys. They have a difficult job, which if television has taught us anything consists largely of doing cool science montages, coming up with one-liners to describe gruesome tragedies, and getting shot at more often than the Duck Hunt dog.* I feel that the least I can do for such noble workers is to give them a break by reconstructing what, exactly, it was that made my bathroom look like a crime scene, so they can get back to dramatically putting on their sunglasses as fast as possible.
So here, for the record, are my actions last night:
-Enjoy cup of Safari Sunset tea.
-Pee.
-Go to bed .
-Get up to pee.
-Go to bed.
-Get up to pee.
-Go to bed.
-Get up to pee.**
-While thus occupied, pants down and whatnot, attempt to multitask and blow my nose.
-Toss away tissue.
-Notice that nose still needs wiping.
-Notice that nose needs wiping really fast.
-Flail for toilet paper whilst nose gushes blood like a bursting dam all over my bare legs.
-Jam toilet paper up nose.
-Finish other item of bathroom business.
-Find that nose paper is already soaked.
-Attempt Indiana Jones-style switching of bloodied tissue with clean tissue to prevent further blood gush.
-Wipe off bloodsoaked legs with washcloth.
-Tissue switch.
-Find clean pajamas.
-Tissue switch.
-Wonder if this is the kind of situation that calls for jamming a tampon up my nose.***
-Notice with relief that blood seems to be slowing down, or possibly I am just running OUT of blood.
-Go to bed.
I thought that was the end of it, save for the wonderful sensation of blood and snot going down the back of my throat, but I suppose I should also admit that if I'm going to have to get up to pee 27 times, I stop bothering to turn on the light, so it was completely dark in the bathroom while all this was happening. Which is why I failed to notice that I had managed to bleed on the floor, too.
I am not sure how I failed to notice that I’d stepped in the blood, though.
So I went into the bathroom this morning to find bloody footprints all over, and dried blood was still caked on my left foot, and all in all it was a pretty incriminating scene. But I swear, CSI guys: I am still alive, and there is no need for you to come to my house to investigate.
But if you do, please try not to get shot. I just cleaned up all the blood.
*Seriously. Fuck that dog.
**My bladder is apparently the size of a thimble. But I love me some tea, so I have learned to accept this routine.
***An honest-to-god doctor-recommended technique. When Mom was getting spontaneous outpourings of noseblood, her ENT told her to try to stanch the flow with tampons cut down to size. I’m not sure which would be worse, nosebleed or nose-tampon, but either way it’s definitely an excuse to get out of polite society for a little while.
So here, for the record, are my actions last night:
-Enjoy cup of Safari Sunset tea.
-Pee.
-Go to bed .
-Get up to pee.
-Go to bed.
-Get up to pee.
-Go to bed.
-Get up to pee.**
-While thus occupied, pants down and whatnot, attempt to multitask and blow my nose.
-Toss away tissue.
-Notice that nose still needs wiping.
-Notice that nose needs wiping really fast.
-Flail for toilet paper whilst nose gushes blood like a bursting dam all over my bare legs.
-Jam toilet paper up nose.
-Finish other item of bathroom business.
-Find that nose paper is already soaked.
-Attempt Indiana Jones-style switching of bloodied tissue with clean tissue to prevent further blood gush.
-Wipe off bloodsoaked legs with washcloth.
-Tissue switch.
-Find clean pajamas.
-Tissue switch.
-Wonder if this is the kind of situation that calls for jamming a tampon up my nose.***
-Notice with relief that blood seems to be slowing down, or possibly I am just running OUT of blood.
-Go to bed.
I thought that was the end of it, save for the wonderful sensation of blood and snot going down the back of my throat, but I suppose I should also admit that if I'm going to have to get up to pee 27 times, I stop bothering to turn on the light, so it was completely dark in the bathroom while all this was happening. Which is why I failed to notice that I had managed to bleed on the floor, too.
I am not sure how I failed to notice that I’d stepped in the blood, though.
So I went into the bathroom this morning to find bloody footprints all over, and dried blood was still caked on my left foot, and all in all it was a pretty incriminating scene. But I swear, CSI guys: I am still alive, and there is no need for you to come to my house to investigate.
But if you do, please try not to get shot. I just cleaned up all the blood.
*Seriously. Fuck that dog.
**My bladder is apparently the size of a thimble. But I love me some tea, so I have learned to accept this routine.
***An honest-to-god doctor-recommended technique. When Mom was getting spontaneous outpourings of noseblood, her ENT told her to try to stanch the flow with tampons cut down to size. I’m not sure which would be worse, nosebleed or nose-tampon, but either way it’s definitely an excuse to get out of polite society for a little while.
Blog Game Part II!
Jan. 28th, 2011 09:44 pmOkay, everyone! Meme time wrapup. Y’all asked me questions, and now I provide the answers in the Mystery Characters Doing Stuff Meme! The players were:
1. Bilbo Baggins
2. Toph Bei Fong
3. Pilot
4.Pyanfar Chanur
5. Hank McCoy/Beast
6. Granny Weatherwax
7. Donald Duck
8. Digger-Of-Unnecessarily-Convoluted-Tunnels
9. Data
10. Old Spice Guy
11. Daja Kisubo
12. Keladry of Mindelan
13. Lando Calrissian
14. Uncle General Iroh
15. The Joker
Put them all together, and ( hijinks ensue! )
1. Bilbo Baggins
2. Toph Bei Fong
3. Pilot
4.Pyanfar Chanur
5. Hank McCoy/Beast
6. Granny Weatherwax
7. Donald Duck
8. Digger-Of-Unnecessarily-Convoluted-Tunnels
9. Data
10. Old Spice Guy
11. Daja Kisubo
12. Keladry of Mindelan
13. Lando Calrissian
14. Uncle General Iroh
15. The Joker
Put them all together, and ( hijinks ensue! )
Tags:
- antifandom,
- avatar - the good one,
- batman! batman! batman! batman!,
- blag,
- books are fun,
- fanspam,
- fluffy blue crush,
- heroes who aren't batman,
- it's been going around,
- my descent into madness,
- science fiction,
- star trekkin',
- star wars,
- tea dammit!,
- the giant idea eggbeater,
- twisted tastes,
- wasting time
Different Tastes ...
Dec. 12th, 2010 05:40 pmDue to a horrible gelatinous blob of cat on my lap a few days ago, I was unable to flee as I usually do when Mom and my sister turn the DVR to their favorite shows, Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice. This did not go well:
ME: So, this show consists entirely of unlikeable people making the worst possible decisions at any given moment?
MY SISTER: Isn’t it great?
ME: … Remind me again why you didn’t like Cloverfield?
MY SISTER: The camera was too shaky.
ME: Fair enough.
MY SISTER: Not to mention Cloverfield distinctly lacks Taye Diggs taking off his shirt, something this show delivers with great regularity.
ME: Well, as long as you have a good reason.
Just for that I made them watch the Jack Frost MST. If I get stuck watching incompetent doctors whining about how it turns out getting pregnant by their best friend’s husband or whatever was a bad idea, IMAGINE, it’s only fair that they get stuck watching some meat-haired Russian chase feathers and get turned into a bear by a guy in a mushroom hat. Though that logic might just be the head cold talking.
ME: So, this show consists entirely of unlikeable people making the worst possible decisions at any given moment?
MY SISTER: Isn’t it great?
ME: … Remind me again why you didn’t like Cloverfield?
MY SISTER: The camera was too shaky.
ME: Fair enough.
MY SISTER: Not to mention Cloverfield distinctly lacks Taye Diggs taking off his shirt, something this show delivers with great regularity.
ME: Well, as long as you have a good reason.
Just for that I made them watch the Jack Frost MST. If I get stuck watching incompetent doctors whining about how it turns out getting pregnant by their best friend’s husband or whatever was a bad idea, IMAGINE, it’s only fair that they get stuck watching some meat-haired Russian chase feathers and get turned into a bear by a guy in a mushroom hat. Though that logic might just be the head cold talking.
The other day my sister and I went to Color Me Mine, the local ceramic painting studio, because you can never have too many mugs.
I have been to Color Me Mine too many times over the years:
ME: Do you still need to ask for permission to use the red?
CMM EMPLOYEE: What?
ME: Back in the day, when they first got red paint that wouldn’t kill you, it was all temperamental and you had to ask for assistance before you used it.
EMPLOYEE: This story is only supported by half-remembered songs of the Ancients, and they all sank into the ocean years ago for angering the gods. So, go ahead and use that red paint.
ME: You realize that those who do not remember history are doomed to repeat it. The gods will smite you all over again.
EMPLOYEE. Shut up and choose some paint pens.
Some of these pictures are stolen from my sister, because I forgot to bring my own camera along
So what you do is, you select a blank bit of ceramic, and you paint it with acrylics, and then the nice employees glaze it and kiln it for you, and then if they are clumsy they drop it and it is lost forever, although that only happened once.
ME: I like how you wound up painting a right handed mug when you’re a lefty.
MY SISTER: I what? SHIT!
This time I did a conlang mug! This one’s in Rredŕa, the language of the arhods, who take their tea very seriously. The vines are stylized sharyu vines, which is their main tea type.
( But what does it SAY? )
I have been to Color Me Mine too many times over the years:
ME: Do you still need to ask for permission to use the red?
CMM EMPLOYEE: What?
ME: Back in the day, when they first got red paint that wouldn’t kill you, it was all temperamental and you had to ask for assistance before you used it.
EMPLOYEE: This story is only supported by half-remembered songs of the Ancients, and they all sank into the ocean years ago for angering the gods. So, go ahead and use that red paint.
ME: You realize that those who do not remember history are doomed to repeat it. The gods will smite you all over again.
EMPLOYEE. Shut up and choose some paint pens.
Some of these pictures are stolen from my sister, because I forgot to bring my own camera along
So what you do is, you select a blank bit of ceramic, and you paint it with acrylics, and then the nice employees glaze it and kiln it for you, and then if they are clumsy they drop it and it is lost forever, although that only happened once.
ME: I like how you wound up painting a right handed mug when you’re a lefty.
MY SISTER: I what? SHIT!
This time I did a conlang mug! This one’s in Rredŕa, the language of the arhods, who take their tea very seriously. The vines are stylized sharyu vines, which is their main tea type.
( But what does it SAY? )
Unconnected Thoughts
Apr. 28th, 2010 10:58 pmThis is specifically for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sunshine_shaman: the hilarious Coelasquid from DeviantART now has her own webcomic, Manly Guys Doing Manly Things. It’s one of those terrific webcomics where even without the writing, the art makes me laugh maniacally.*
---
I have not yet tasted it, because I just brewed it, but this here new oolong tea Mom got me certainly smells suspiciously of old socks. Hmm.
---
Had a ten-year-old girl come into the Liberry today and confess that she just moved to America from Somewhereistan, and she had never been in a library before. She could not believe it was free. She just kept asking “Do I have to pay for the card?” when I explained how you can check books out or get on the internet. It was strange to find myself explaining the concept from the ground up—most people at least know the general procedure through cultural osmosis. But man, it kinda surprised me how amazing this system really is. I kinda felt like that crazy Progressive Insurance lady by the end. (“Wow! You don’t have to pay?” “I KNOW! INSANE, ISN’T IT?”)
---
And on the subject of libraries, Librarian Hamster Questions Your Ability To Survive In The Wild. (Note that I do not apply this look to the above girl, as she was quite bright and simply hadn’t learned the system yet. This look applies to an entirely different crowd. You all know those sorts …)
*Also, I read through it while curling the hair of one of my dolls. I think this may have destroyed some spacetime somehow.
sunshine_shaman: the hilarious Coelasquid from DeviantART now has her own webcomic, Manly Guys Doing Manly Things. It’s one of those terrific webcomics where even without the writing, the art makes me laugh maniacally.*---
I have not yet tasted it, because I just brewed it, but this here new oolong tea Mom got me certainly smells suspiciously of old socks. Hmm.
---
Had a ten-year-old girl come into the Liberry today and confess that she just moved to America from Somewhereistan, and she had never been in a library before. She could not believe it was free. She just kept asking “Do I have to pay for the card?” when I explained how you can check books out or get on the internet. It was strange to find myself explaining the concept from the ground up—most people at least know the general procedure through cultural osmosis. But man, it kinda surprised me how amazing this system really is. I kinda felt like that crazy Progressive Insurance lady by the end. (“Wow! You don’t have to pay?” “I KNOW! INSANE, ISN’T IT?”)
---
And on the subject of libraries, Librarian Hamster Questions Your Ability To Survive In The Wild. (Note that I do not apply this look to the above girl, as she was quite bright and simply hadn’t learned the system yet. This look applies to an entirely different crowd. You all know those sorts …)
*Also, I read through it while curling the hair of one of my dolls. I think this may have destroyed some spacetime somehow.
Another Look At The Writing Process
Apr. 27th, 2010 10:40 pmAMELIA: All right, Amuddya*! Goddamn, I dunno what we’ve been doing the past few days, but this is getting fuckin’ ridiculous. You’ll never be a Real Author if you can’t even get your shit together to finish off the last episode of your book. We need Motivation! Anyone seen her?
SELF-ANALYSIS: She’s been missing for days. I think she’s dead.
AMELIA: What the hell do you mean, dead? Well, all right, we can sally forth without her. I’ll have another cup of tea.
BLADDER: WE ARE NOT HAVING ANY MORE FUCKING TEA.
AMELIA: … Well, anyway. Yessir, we don’t need Motivation to do the final push for this chapter! I can do it myself! I’ll just sit down and force the scene!
AMELIA: …
AMELIA: …
AMELIA: … Perhaps a writing exercise will help.
(AMELIA writes out an imaginary dialogue. She then scribbles random words on a sheet of notebook paper. She does a logic puzzle.)
SELF-ANALYSIS: It’s not working.
AMELIA: Quiet. I’m going to play Set Solitaire. Or perhaps some Flash games. That will definitely do the trick.
SELF-ANALYSIS: I’ll be crying in the corner if you need me.
AMELIA goes back to her game; she has just found another set when MOTIVATION bursts in, waving a stack of papers covered in scribbles.
AMELIA: Where the hell have you been? The Doctors! are all stuck in limbo while I try to figure out how to make this ending look ingenious and not like a pile of—
MOTIVATION: WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE WHAT I HAVE GOT FOR YOU.
AMELIA: (eyeing papers) Have you been conferring with Creativity?
MOTIVATION: YES!
AMELIA: That’s great! What have you got for me?
MOTIVATION: REMEMBER THAT STORY YOU WANTED TO WRITE ABOUT SUSAN PEVENSIE THAT GOT KIND OF EPIC? I HAVE FIGURED OUT ACT II.
AMELIA: … That’s really not what I asked you to do …
MOTIVATION: YOU NEED TO WRITE THIS STORY RIGHT NOW BECAUSE IT’S AWESOME.
AMELIA: I’m trying to write stories I can publish! With original characters and everything! Now get over here and help me with these damn Doctors!
MOTIVATION: I AM SO SICK OF THESE DAMN DOCTORS. I NEVER WANT TO SEE THEM AGAIN AND YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAAAAAND ME AND WE WANNA WRITE THE SUSAN STORY NOW NOW NOW!
AMELIA: Well, we aren’t going to. I’m tired of Doctors! too, but if we just work together—
MOTIVATION: I HATE YOU AND HOPE YOU DIE AND I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
MOTIVATION storms into her room and slams the door
AMELIA: Goddamn, this is not going to help me get my story done at all.
BLADDER: I mean, seriously, and she blames me when she has to go every fifteen minutes after two cups of assam. Is that fair, I ask you?
FIN
*I call myself Amuddya when I talk to myself. My self-pep talks are always done in the voice of my old Tae Kwon Do master, who had no idea what my name was and would just sort of garble random syllables when he addressed me. I just answered to it, but my friend tried to teach him how to pronounce my name, and the closest he ever got with his heavy accent was "Amuddya." This is why sometimes, if you listen closely while I'm doing something, you may hear me mutter "You needing to p'ocus, Amuddya." (He couldn't quite keep his f's from becoming aspirated p's, either.)
SELF-ANALYSIS: She’s been missing for days. I think she’s dead.
AMELIA: What the hell do you mean, dead? Well, all right, we can sally forth without her. I’ll have another cup of tea.
BLADDER: WE ARE NOT HAVING ANY MORE FUCKING TEA.
AMELIA: … Well, anyway. Yessir, we don’t need Motivation to do the final push for this chapter! I can do it myself! I’ll just sit down and force the scene!
AMELIA: …
AMELIA: …
AMELIA: … Perhaps a writing exercise will help.
(AMELIA writes out an imaginary dialogue. She then scribbles random words on a sheet of notebook paper. She does a logic puzzle.)
SELF-ANALYSIS: It’s not working.
AMELIA: Quiet. I’m going to play Set Solitaire. Or perhaps some Flash games. That will definitely do the trick.
SELF-ANALYSIS: I’ll be crying in the corner if you need me.
AMELIA goes back to her game; she has just found another set when MOTIVATION bursts in, waving a stack of papers covered in scribbles.
AMELIA: Where the hell have you been? The Doctors! are all stuck in limbo while I try to figure out how to make this ending look ingenious and not like a pile of—
MOTIVATION: WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE WHAT I HAVE GOT FOR YOU.
AMELIA: (eyeing papers) Have you been conferring with Creativity?
MOTIVATION: YES!
AMELIA: That’s great! What have you got for me?
MOTIVATION: REMEMBER THAT STORY YOU WANTED TO WRITE ABOUT SUSAN PEVENSIE THAT GOT KIND OF EPIC? I HAVE FIGURED OUT ACT II.
AMELIA: … That’s really not what I asked you to do …
MOTIVATION: YOU NEED TO WRITE THIS STORY RIGHT NOW BECAUSE IT’S AWESOME.
AMELIA: I’m trying to write stories I can publish! With original characters and everything! Now get over here and help me with these damn Doctors!
MOTIVATION: I AM SO SICK OF THESE DAMN DOCTORS. I NEVER WANT TO SEE THEM AGAIN AND YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAAAAAND ME AND WE WANNA WRITE THE SUSAN STORY NOW NOW NOW!
AMELIA: Well, we aren’t going to. I’m tired of Doctors! too, but if we just work together—
MOTIVATION: I HATE YOU AND HOPE YOU DIE AND I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
MOTIVATION storms into her room and slams the door
AMELIA: Goddamn, this is not going to help me get my story done at all.
BLADDER: I mean, seriously, and she blames me when she has to go every fifteen minutes after two cups of assam. Is that fair, I ask you?
FIN
*I call myself Amuddya when I talk to myself. My self-pep talks are always done in the voice of my old Tae Kwon Do master, who had no idea what my name was and would just sort of garble random syllables when he addressed me. I just answered to it, but my friend tried to teach him how to pronounce my name, and the closest he ever got with his heavy accent was "Amuddya." This is why sometimes, if you listen closely while I'm doing something, you may hear me mutter "You needing to p'ocus, Amuddya." (He couldn't quite keep his f's from becoming aspirated p's, either.)
The Life Experience ~ Winter '10
Mar. 21st, 2010 01:28 amWhat I Learned Since The Winter Solstice:
- A “superegg” is a fake egg that is more appealing to birds than their own eggs.
- Cool Youtube comments, usually as rare as dragon eggs, seem to cluster around MST3k episodes. Or, if not cool per se, they are at least non-fuckwad comments.
- The Stepford Wives works better as a cultural idea than as an actual novel.
- Apparently there’s a “locker room etiquette” where you’re not supposed to be naked in a gym locker room where others can see you. I do not understand.
- The reason I’m so damn good at Super Mario World is because I played it nonstop from, roughly, 1991-1997. It’s not so easy to start a new Mario game.
- There is an interesting arc of goals for constructed language through history, starting with abstract languages attempting to find the True Universal Language, to an attempt to make languages meant to be easy to learn, to languages made because why the hell not.
- It is indeed possible to highlight all the italic-formatted text at once in a Word document. This is very good news for someone who wants to switch her document to manuscript format only after she’s written it.
- Also, turning the page to white-on-black text makes things a lot easier on the eyes.
- Gamma ray bursts are strong enough that we can detect them from NINE BILLION light years away.
- John Scalzi is fuckin METAL.
- So is Nancy Springer, in a completely different way.
- Latah may not be culturally-specific after all—Western medicine recognizes hyperexplexia, an exaggerated startle response, which sounds very similar to the description of the South Asian disorder latah.
- Dimetrodon was not a dinosaur. It was a large, prehistoric, finned lizardy thing. Fortunately for our sanity, this does not make Bert I. Gordon right, as Dimetrodon was more mammalish than lizardish and did not hang out in public parks masquerading as an alien Tyrannosaurus Rex.
- After a while, you really do get into a nice rhythm when you swim. This does take some practice, though.
- It takes practice to line up hems.
- Gauge and inner diameter ratio is an important thing to understand if you want to make chainmail.
- Printing out a novel-length manuscript, even single-spaced, takes forever.
- Jumpsuits will be in season this fall. It’s 2010, people!
- Always check the ingredients of the tea can you’re about to buy, lest you suddenly get surprised by the murderous stab of stevia and realize you just flushed ten bucks down the drain for a nasty artificial sweetener.
- A sort of epiphany: much of my actions throughout life have been dictated partly by ambient noise avoidance. It’s why I hate parties and refuse to go to gyms. Background noise makes me jumpy and nervous.
Blah Kinda Day
Jan. 18th, 2010 06:25 pm– The sewing machine is the broke, which leaves Daja with half a winter shirt and no jammies. Since it’s Pajama Time here at the doll display,* this is a bit of a bummer. At least she gets to hang out with Tris, who also has no pajamas yet. Maybe I can say they’re off at some late night movie for some sisterly bonding time. At least Daja has a new pair of pants, though!
– Yesterday , for some reason, I was tremendously out of sorts at work. In one case this became a literal thing, since I sorted half a cartful of DVDs and then went off to help another person check stuff in. When I got back to the cart I found my manager had unsorted it in order to find something. So I had to re-sort it, then shelve DVDs, which I really hate because my cartful of DVDs tends to collect browsing patrons like seagulls around a garbage barge. I politely tell them they can look at the DVDs after I shelve them because otherwise I get buried, so they wind up hovering around behind me watching me shelve. It’s obnoxious as hell.
Also, while I was doing that the same manager went and shelved the fiction cart I had queued up. I was looking forward to doing the fiction. Nobody ever chases me around to browse that cart. It only made me poutier.
– I think I managed to give myself cellulitis in my heel—there’s a knob on it like a giant callus, but it hurts like when you poke one of those deep zits when I stand on it. My best guess is I got too excited while trimming calluses.
I’ve been walking on tiptoes for two days when I’m barefoot; for some reason my shoes distribute the weight so it’s not on the thing. According to WebMD, I am going to die a horrible death alone and afraid, secure in the knowledge that nobody loves me, unless I go see a doctor YESTERDAY JEEZUS CHRIST WHY AM I STILL AT THE COMPUTER WASTING PRECIOUS SECONDS.
It already feels better, though, so perhaps, just perhaps, WebMD is exaggerating just slightly. Imagine that.
– I had a whole mess of crazy dreams and night sweats last night, even though I took my Fukitol. Mostly they were the usual fare, although there was also some dude called “Gary” who kept popping up through the dreams and delivering non-sequiturs, to which I replied “Shut up, Gary” and went back to whatever I was doing.
– One of the dreams involved shopping for art supplies, which I am going to do because I got me a paycheck, but these art supplies were all ridiculously expensive. Like, a length of copper jewelry wire was $63,485. Seems I’ve added to my repertoire of Dreams With Really Obvious Meanings.
– Goddamn, y'all, Peet's 2009 Holiday Breakfast Blend is one terrific tea. I am going to make myself a strong cup and give my hands a break to go read for a while. Perhaps later when my hands are less fatiguey and spongey from typing up Doctors!, I will tell you about these books, because they're quite good!.
*It was also Pajama Time last summer for a little while, but that was a fluke; late January is official Pajama Time.
– Yesterday , for some reason, I was tremendously out of sorts at work. In one case this became a literal thing, since I sorted half a cartful of DVDs and then went off to help another person check stuff in. When I got back to the cart I found my manager had unsorted it in order to find something. So I had to re-sort it, then shelve DVDs, which I really hate because my cartful of DVDs tends to collect browsing patrons like seagulls around a garbage barge. I politely tell them they can look at the DVDs after I shelve them because otherwise I get buried, so they wind up hovering around behind me watching me shelve. It’s obnoxious as hell.
Also, while I was doing that the same manager went and shelved the fiction cart I had queued up. I was looking forward to doing the fiction. Nobody ever chases me around to browse that cart. It only made me poutier.
– I think I managed to give myself cellulitis in my heel—there’s a knob on it like a giant callus, but it hurts like when you poke one of those deep zits when I stand on it. My best guess is I got too excited while trimming calluses.
I’ve been walking on tiptoes for two days when I’m barefoot; for some reason my shoes distribute the weight so it’s not on the thing. According to WebMD, I am going to die a horrible death alone and afraid, secure in the knowledge that nobody loves me, unless I go see a doctor YESTERDAY JEEZUS CHRIST WHY AM I STILL AT THE COMPUTER WASTING PRECIOUS SECONDS.
It already feels better, though, so perhaps, just perhaps, WebMD is exaggerating just slightly. Imagine that.
– I had a whole mess of crazy dreams and night sweats last night, even though I took my Fukitol. Mostly they were the usual fare, although there was also some dude called “Gary” who kept popping up through the dreams and delivering non-sequiturs, to which I replied “Shut up, Gary” and went back to whatever I was doing.
– One of the dreams involved shopping for art supplies, which I am going to do because I got me a paycheck, but these art supplies were all ridiculously expensive. Like, a length of copper jewelry wire was $63,485. Seems I’ve added to my repertoire of Dreams With Really Obvious Meanings.
– Goddamn, y'all, Peet's 2009 Holiday Breakfast Blend is one terrific tea. I am going to make myself a strong cup and give my hands a break to go read for a while. Perhaps later when my hands are less fatiguey and spongey from typing up Doctors!, I will tell you about these books, because they're quite good!.
*It was also Pajama Time last summer for a little while, but that was a fluke; late January is official Pajama Time.
The Life Experience ~ Summer '09
Sep. 22nd, 2009 06:48 pmWhat I've Learned Since The Summer Solstice:
- Jesus makes good tea.
- “Good job” doesn’t always mean what it sounds like it means.
- Some of my favorite Paul Simon songs are about Carrie Fisher.
- The Liberry’s database of awesome references is available at home to anyone who has a library card number. And there was much rejoicing.
- There is such a thing as not finishing video games. I’ve had a number of friends recently express a certain guilt that they are “behind” on video games, and I keep in turn expressing amazement. I don’t think it’s ever occurred to me to not finish a game.
- It’s best for me to write a very first draft longhand. This gives me a chance to have better ideas when I’m typing it up.
- Ordinary people, like for example folks in Iran, can be inspiringly heroic.
- My aunt is officially off her rocker.
- In a strong enough wind, it’s totally possible to get one of those bouncy castles airborne.
- My sister is afraid of space. I’m not actually sure what that means, but she reacts to space porn the way some people react to ugly bug pictures.
- Speaking of horrible bugs, there is a horrible isopod whose life cycle includes eating and then REPLACING the tongue of a fish. Which is gross and AWESOME.
- The four elemental “bending” types in Avatar are all associated with a different fighting styles: Waterbending is Tai Chi, Earthbending is Hung Gar, Firebending is Northern Shaolin Kung Fu, and Airbending is Ba Gua.
- All of these styles, as well as Tae Kwon Do, are hampered by giant boobs.
- A good front stance is one where you can just see your toes on your front foot.
- I do, in fact, have an upper limit for how much ridiculousness I can stand in a splodey movie.
- When you don’t agree with someone, there is a delicate balance to strike between pointing and laughing at someone and taking them far too seriously. Sometimes it’s difficult to respect people’s personhood without necessarily having to respect their batshit ideas.
- As I suspected, I’m very bad at language tone. This hasn’t stopped me from trying to learn it, but.
- There are some disadvantages to having a room next to the air conditioning unit.
- I’m not the only person on Earth who was traumatized at a young age by The Brave Little Toaster.
- One new Theory Of Big Space Things suggests that we live in a multiverse—and that universes sometimes collide. Like, literally smash into each other, and get conflicting laws of physics all over everything. While I haven’t followed up on the validity of the theory, it would make for some interesting science fiction. (“You think YOUR natural disaster was bad?”)
- There is a complicated jargon associated with African-American hair. While I knew it was somewhat different to work with than whitepeople hair, I hadn’t learned the lingo until I had to look it up to make a scene in a story believable.
- Not everyone knows how libraries work, and locating books is not an instinctive activity.
- Something I didn’t know about libraries: some make a distinction between trade paperbacks and mass market paperbacks. It’s basically choosing whether a book will live or die.
Okay, so recently my siblings got me forcibly into Avatar: The Last Airbender, and I watched the whole thing.
Holy shit, now I understand what y’all were talking about. This was an amazing fantasy world, beautifully animated, great story, great characters,* and it was intelligent. It’s also not set in Standard Fantasyland, for which I am eternally grateful. It’s definitely up there as a favorite series.**
Also, I kind of generally want to be Toph. She’s a badass muthafucka and I think she wears a snood. How many blind snood-wearing rock-hurlers have you met?
However, I have one rather unnerving question open for discussion about this show, and it pretty much sums everything up for me:
Which is creepier: that I have a powerful crush on Uncle General Iroh, or that when I confess that to other people their only response is, “Well, of course!”?
But come on, dude can crush prison walls with his face (SHUT UP YOU WEREN’T THERE AND NEITHER WAS THE CAMERA) but if you try to kill him he’ll serve you a cup of tea and tell you some nonsense before resorting to BREATHING FIRE. That is the correct approach to any situation. So I suppose I can see where they’re coming from.
*Somehow, the adolescent rage and confusion and flailing that drove me absolutely crazy with Harry Potter does nothing but endear Zuko to me, even though he’s such a little snot. Maybe I figure he deserves a little more angst. At least Harry’s scar didn’t boil his eyeball.
** I’m also even more confused as to why they even want to make a movie from it.*** My plan is to deny it exists—partly because it’s already a perfectly good TV series, and partly, of course, because of the unforgiveably boneheaded whitewashing.
***Answer: money.
Holy shit, now I understand what y’all were talking about. This was an amazing fantasy world, beautifully animated, great story, great characters,* and it was intelligent. It’s also not set in Standard Fantasyland, for which I am eternally grateful. It’s definitely up there as a favorite series.**
Also, I kind of generally want to be Toph. She’s a badass muthafucka and I think she wears a snood. How many blind snood-wearing rock-hurlers have you met?
However, I have one rather unnerving question open for discussion about this show, and it pretty much sums everything up for me:
Which is creepier: that I have a powerful crush on Uncle General Iroh, or that when I confess that to other people their only response is, “Well, of course!”?
But come on, dude can crush prison walls with his face (SHUT UP YOU WEREN’T THERE AND NEITHER WAS THE CAMERA) but if you try to kill him he’ll serve you a cup of tea and tell you some nonsense before resorting to BREATHING FIRE. That is the correct approach to any situation. So I suppose I can see where they’re coming from.
*Somehow, the adolescent rage and confusion and flailing that drove me absolutely crazy with Harry Potter does nothing but endear Zuko to me, even though he’s such a little snot. Maybe I figure he deserves a little more angst. At least Harry’s scar didn’t boil his eyeball.
** I’m also even more confused as to why they even want to make a movie from it.*** My plan is to deny it exists—partly because it’s already a perfectly good TV series, and partly, of course, because of the unforgiveably boneheaded whitewashing.
***Answer: money.
I’ve been on the lookout for good white tea lately. It’s expensive and actually not my favorite kind, but it’s got a nice delicate flavor that’s really refreshing sometimes.* So I figured I ought to have some around.
I got me a nice can of Rishi’s Peach Blossom Organic White Tea, which was listed as “White Tea infused with juicy peach, tangerine and aromatic blossoms.”
Perhaps the lack of an Oxford comma should have tipped me off, but this is tea, not grammar, so I bought it anyway.
I opened it up yesterday and took a nice whiff, and WHY IN THE NAME OF PINKY AND THE BRAIN DOES IT SMELL LIKE FLINTSTONES VITAMINS.
I tried brewing it, but no matter what I did it still tasted like Theraflu. The high fructose corn syrup would have been an improvement. This is natural peach flavoring in the same sense that Squeezy Cheez is a real cheese product. Only this time, it has no worth even if you don’t expect it to taste anything like the thing it’s supposed to be emulating.**
So scratch Rishi. I prefer my tea to be less reminiscent of Pebbles and Bam-Bam. The search goes on.
*My buddy Lychee and I noticed with some amusement when the Big Gross Tea Companies suddenly discovered white tea and put it in bottles with lots of high-fructose corn syrup. We cackled like hags as people started thinking that their pomegranate white tea inna bottle was all hip.
**Shut up, I like Squeezy Cheez. It's a guilty pleasure.
I got me a nice can of Rishi’s Peach Blossom Organic White Tea, which was listed as “White Tea infused with juicy peach, tangerine and aromatic blossoms.”
Perhaps the lack of an Oxford comma should have tipped me off, but this is tea, not grammar, so I bought it anyway.
I opened it up yesterday and took a nice whiff, and WHY IN THE NAME OF PINKY AND THE BRAIN DOES IT SMELL LIKE FLINTSTONES VITAMINS.
I tried brewing it, but no matter what I did it still tasted like Theraflu. The high fructose corn syrup would have been an improvement. This is natural peach flavoring in the same sense that Squeezy Cheez is a real cheese product. Only this time, it has no worth even if you don’t expect it to taste anything like the thing it’s supposed to be emulating.**
So scratch Rishi. I prefer my tea to be less reminiscent of Pebbles and Bam-Bam. The search goes on.
*My buddy Lychee and I noticed with some amusement when the Big Gross Tea Companies suddenly discovered white tea and put it in bottles with lots of high-fructose corn syrup. We cackled like hags as people started thinking that their pomegranate white tea inna bottle was all hip.
**Shut up, I like Squeezy Cheez. It's a guilty pleasure.
