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Apr. 19th, 2015 08:20 pmI keep forgetting to post this, but please enjoy Dystopian YA Novel on Twitter.
Seriously. It slays me every time.
("My entire life played out before my eyes like a movie - a movie split into two parts right when it started getting exciting." Just ... BAHAHA. I want to quote the whole thing.)
Seriously. It slays me every time.
("My entire life played out before my eyes like a movie - a movie split into two parts right when it started getting exciting." Just ... BAHAHA. I want to quote the whole thing.)
Sister Time!
Sep. 2nd, 2014 04:10 pmMy sister is here! Hooray!
Dang, I love it when she visits. Who else can I go from discussing the publishing industry to gleefully squealing at a Let's Play of Five Nights at Freddy's* to contemplating the attributes of fairy jail in the Disney Fairyverse** with?
It's good to have people who get me.
*If you haven't seen it, I warn you that even with Markiplier's delightful self-comfort chatter in that video, that video and the game itself is fucking TERRIFYING. I haven't had so much fun watching most actual horror MOVIES as I have watching that LP.
**Have I mentioned that I LOVE the Disney Fairies? Especially the movie versions. For one thing, Peter Pan has been thoroughly bussed from the movies (I think it's technically before Tinker Bell meets him, which I'm fine with), and Tink has a much more likable personality. More importantly, though, they're girly as unicorns in a meadow full of rainbow glitter, and yet Tinker Bell is also an ENGINEER. You can totally be a girly mechanical engineer! The Fairies say so, god dammit! (And the latest movie, The Pirate Fairy, has a SCIENCE FAIRY who does experiments and alchemy and stuff! IT'S GREAT.
Dang, I love it when she visits. Who else can I go from discussing the publishing industry to gleefully squealing at a Let's Play of Five Nights at Freddy's* to contemplating the attributes of fairy jail in the Disney Fairyverse** with?
It's good to have people who get me.
*If you haven't seen it, I warn you that even with Markiplier's delightful self-comfort chatter in that video, that video and the game itself is fucking TERRIFYING. I haven't had so much fun watching most actual horror MOVIES as I have watching that LP.
**Have I mentioned that I LOVE the Disney Fairies? Especially the movie versions. For one thing, Peter Pan has been thoroughly bussed from the movies (I think it's technically before Tinker Bell meets him, which I'm fine with), and Tink has a much more likable personality. More importantly, though, they're girly as unicorns in a meadow full of rainbow glitter, and yet Tinker Bell is also an ENGINEER. You can totally be a girly mechanical engineer! The Fairies say so, god dammit! (And the latest movie, The Pirate Fairy, has a SCIENCE FAIRY who does experiments and alchemy and stuff! IT'S GREAT.
But You'll Need A Tray
Mar. 19th, 2014 11:44 pmCan I just tell you how much I still love the Amazon Customer Review Comedy Troupe? Especially the Q&A section.
Fanspammy Moment!
Dec. 7th, 2013 03:58 pmEEEEK!
Look what Disney put up on YouTube!
I still say y'all ought to go check out the full movie, but if you don't see the entirety of Frozen, this is the best part. I kind of can't stop listening to it. (I want to sing along with it, but I came down with the post-travel crud, and I just can't in good conscience sing "The cold never bothered me, anyway" when I am CLEARLY being bothered by a cold. I'll just let Idina do it for now. She's more impressive, anyway.)
Look what Disney put up on YouTube!
I still say y'all ought to go check out the full movie, but if you don't see the entirety of Frozen, this is the best part. I kind of can't stop listening to it. (I want to sing along with it, but I came down with the post-travel crud, and I just can't in good conscience sing "The cold never bothered me, anyway" when I am CLEARLY being bothered by a cold. I'll just let Idina do it for now. She's more impressive, anyway.)
Ić eom flygende, Jack!
Sep. 10th, 2013 07:18 pmNobody ever gets to bitch about how the latest generation is Ruining English again.
The Fife, Lute, and Drum Edition of "You're the One That I Want" is a particularly hilarious touch.
The Fife, Lute, and Drum Edition of "You're the One That I Want" is a particularly hilarious touch.
(no subject)
Jul. 29th, 2013 11:11 pmAlmost got the latest Scatterstone set up! Hopefully within the next few days. It took forever this time because I went back to my patented system of writing an entire scene, and then realizing how I could do it better and having to rewrite it completely.
While I'm working on that, enjoy a compilation of Maru's greatest hits from 2012:
While I'm working on that, enjoy a compilation of Maru's greatest hits from 2012:
Can't Embed, Alas!
May. 7th, 2013 03:38 pmThis is pretty much exactly how I have been envisioning Leonard Nimoy and Zachary Quinto hanging out together. And yes, it was a thing that I had previously envisioned. Shut up.
Bilbo ... Bilbo Baggins ... the bravest little hobbit of them all. Yeeeaaaah. ♥
Bilbo ... Bilbo Baggins ... the bravest little hobbit of them all. Yeeeaaaah. ♥
It's Like Clark Kent's Glasses
May. 5th, 2013 08:30 pmMainlining Mythbusters, perhaps as atonement for the previous 1000 Ways to Die marathon of bullshit. (I do the same thing after watching CSI marathons.)
My only observation this time: Jeezus Clamps, shirtless Jamie Hyneman is a WALL OF MEAT. Where does it go when he puts his shirt on? IS THE WHITE SHIRT SOME KIND OF TARDIS?!
My only observation this time: Jeezus Clamps, shirtless Jamie Hyneman is a WALL OF MEAT. Where does it go when he puts his shirt on? IS THE WHITE SHIRT SOME KIND OF TARDIS?!
Science Stuff!
Apr. 19th, 2013 08:54 pmWho wants science videos?
Everything is cooler in space! EVEN WASHCLOTHS.
Yeah, you've probably seen this already.
Galaxy crash!
Breakdancing cornstarch!
And this guy, who isn't really science, but he deserves more recognition for saying "big gay rainbow across my electorate."
Thank you, that is all.
Everything is cooler in space! EVEN WASHCLOTHS.
Yeah, you've probably seen this already.
Galaxy crash!
Breakdancing cornstarch!
And this guy, who isn't really science, but he deserves more recognition for saying "big gay rainbow across my electorate."
Thank you, that is all.
Leather seats! UNHEATED leather seats!
Mar. 28th, 2013 12:44 am"Actually, the 'no-flats' thing might not strictly be true. Recently, it appears that the Tanry has developed some sort of Mexican Magical Realism. Every breakup I have had the past 2 years has been followed - within 24 hours - by a flat tire whose severity reflected the level of emotional devastation the breakup caused. I am serious about this."
Who'd have thought a used car ad could be such a work of genius?
Who'd have thought a used car ad could be such a work of genius?
Random Crackedspam
Feb. 27th, 2013 10:04 amI have long suspected that automated speech-recognition phone trees could be a perfect place to perform psychological experiments--specifically, determining the exact amount of annoyance required to change careful attempts to enunciate commands to reckless streams of shrieked obscenities. Seems I'm not the only one.
Incidentally, back during the two soul-crushing months I worked at the newspaper circulation call center, I found out that it's true that they can hear you when you think you're on hold. You'd hear the most ridiculous things at that point. Sure, there were a lot of random insults directed at the stupid girl on the other end of the phone, but there were also marital spats, "Here's the train coming into the station! Open wide!", what appeared to be large family reunions, and "Who's a good boy? Whoooooo's my widdle iddle wuggums?"
That was perhaps the only really entertaining thing at that job. Well, that and the Common Annoyance Bingo cards I made. You'd be surprised how much the impact of a display of rudeness is cushioned when it also happens to win you a piece of candy from your own desk drawer.
Incidentally, back during the two soul-crushing months I worked at the newspaper circulation call center, I found out that it's true that they can hear you when you think you're on hold. You'd hear the most ridiculous things at that point. Sure, there were a lot of random insults directed at the stupid girl on the other end of the phone, but there were also marital spats, "Here's the train coming into the station! Open wide!", what appeared to be large family reunions, and "Who's a good boy? Whoooooo's my widdle iddle wuggums?"
That was perhaps the only really entertaining thing at that job. Well, that and the Common Annoyance Bingo cards I made. You'd be surprised how much the impact of a display of rudeness is cushioned when it also happens to win you a piece of candy from your own desk drawer.
(no subject)
Feb. 5th, 2013 12:47 pmThis is pretty much what it's like to go feed Neighbor Cat.
And my own cat, come to think of it.
And my own cat, come to think of it.
HOW COLD IS IT?
Jan. 14th, 2013 11:36 amI realize that folks in warmer climes don't insulate their homes or own cold-weather gear, and comparing climates is a pointless pissing contest, but on the other hand HAHAHAHAHAHA wimps.
My sister moved to California because they are her people.
For the record, the high in Salt Lake today is 13*F. (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nobleplatypus, who showed me the vid, says it's 8* where she's at.) I had to wade ass-deep through snowbanks to get to the neighbor lady's to feed her cat. Wearing nothing but a loincloth and some barbed wire on my feet for traction. And I was constantly punching myself in the face to keep warm.
What I'm sayin' is, you Californians want cold? Come on up here. Don't drive, though. It's really slippery.
My sister moved to California because they are her people.
For the record, the high in Salt Lake today is 13*F. (
nobleplatypus, who showed me the vid, says it's 8* where she's at.) I had to wade ass-deep through snowbanks to get to the neighbor lady's to feed her cat. Wearing nothing but a loincloth and some barbed wire on my feet for traction. And I was constantly punching myself in the face to keep warm.What I'm sayin' is, you Californians want cold? Come on up here. Don't drive, though. It's really slippery.
I'll See You In Hell, Pachelbel
Nov. 12th, 2012 03:48 pmLast week at some point I chanced to hear Pachelbel's Canon in D, which is not a difficult thing to chance because it's EVERYWHERE, and remarked that, surprisingly enough, I didn't immediately start murdering everyone like River Tam hearing her trigger song. Then I wound up having to show Mom the infamous Pachelbel Rant* to explain, AND THE DAMN THING HAS BEEN STUCK IN MY HEAD EVER SINCE.
So today when I realized that "Jolly Old St. Nicholas" uses the same chord progression,** I had to go punch a pillow while sobbing hysterically for a while. But at least I know that the universe is in its proper order again.
*Dude didn't know how good he had it with his cello. I played BASS in the orchestra. The song was mostly rests. And you couldn't even do something constructive, like Sudoku, while you were waiting, because you had to make sure you kept track so you could come in for the four measures you DID have to play.
**Yes, I'm listening to Xmas music. The sky gods just dumped 2 feet of snow on me, so god dammit it's Christmas.
So today when I realized that "Jolly Old St. Nicholas" uses the same chord progression,** I had to go punch a pillow while sobbing hysterically for a while. But at least I know that the universe is in its proper order again.
*Dude didn't know how good he had it with his cello. I played BASS in the orchestra. The song was mostly rests. And you couldn't even do something constructive, like Sudoku, while you were waiting, because you had to make sure you kept track so you could come in for the four measures you DID have to play.
**Yes, I'm listening to Xmas music. The sky gods just dumped 2 feet of snow on me, so god dammit it's Christmas.
When you show your sister and aunt this adorable video while it's embedded in this article, and your aunt decides that everyone at the nursing home she works at should see it. "What was the name of that Web Site? 'Cracked,' you say? I need to tell my supervisor!"
Sister and I headed her off at the pass there. At least, I hope we did. That could be awkward otherwise.
Go read the article. It is all warm fuzzies. There is a photo of Ron Perlman in full Hellboy mode sharing burgers with a six-year-old Make-A-Wish kid, and it will make your day.
Sister and I headed her off at the pass there. At least, I hope we did. That could be awkward otherwise.
Go read the article. It is all warm fuzzies. There is a photo of Ron Perlman in full Hellboy mode sharing burgers with a six-year-old Make-A-Wish kid, and it will make your day.
My new catchphrase is going to be "I wanna CRY, that's so meaningful."
Shatner cracks me up because everything he does is all about HIM, no matter how much he tries to pretend it's not.* And yet despite his unbelievable ego, you just can't hate him. It's just who he is, like how lions are carnivorous or hippos are territorial. Shatner is egomaniacal and self-centered, and you can take it or leave it.
(I can't get over how WEIRD it must be to be a Star Trek character. I can see why they might be fascinated with it, too.)
*Favorite part in The Captains, other than the moment where he photobombs some con-goers: when he and Patrick Stewart are talking, and Shatner's spent an entire movie waffling on in some navel-gazing way about What It Means To Be Captain Kirk (who was totally the first captain) and his legacy and whatnot, and Patrick Stewart says in essence "I know if I died today I'd be remembered chiefly as Captain Picard. And that's totally fine."
Shatner cracks me up because everything he does is all about HIM, no matter how much he tries to pretend it's not.* And yet despite his unbelievable ego, you just can't hate him. It's just who he is, like how lions are carnivorous or hippos are territorial. Shatner is egomaniacal and self-centered, and you can take it or leave it.
(I can't get over how WEIRD it must be to be a Star Trek character. I can see why they might be fascinated with it, too.)
*Favorite part in The Captains, other than the moment where he photobombs some con-goers: when he and Patrick Stewart are talking, and Shatner's spent an entire movie waffling on in some navel-gazing way about What It Means To Be Captain Kirk (who was totally the first captain) and his legacy and whatnot, and Patrick Stewart says in essence "I know if I died today I'd be remembered chiefly as Captain Picard. And that's totally fine."
