The Life Experience ~ Summer '11

[bloodyrosemccoy]

What I Learned Since The Summer Solstice:

• The favorite architect I never knew I had is the awesomely named Friedensreich Regentag Dunkelbunt Hundertwasser. This is what the buildings inside my head look like.
• So one of the latest theories on the proliferation of autoimmune disorders is that in a sanitary ablutomaniacal society, there are not enough germs to keep our immune systems occupied, so they start attacking us. That’s right: they think we have allergies because our immune systems are fucking BORED.
• Which means that a (gross) experimental treatment for everything from hayfever to goddamn Crohn’s disease is to infect the sufferer with hookworms.
• There are two main types of sail plans in ships: square rig and fore-and-aft rig.
• Bill Nye the Science Guy is as awesome as I have always heard.*
• Team-building is a scam.
• Those obnoxious self-righteous hippies are right: things do taste better straight from the garden.
• Especially strawberries. I finally understand what all the damn fuss is about.
• Pumpkin vines are really prickly, yo.
• Gourd leaves, however, can be like velvet.
• You should always check the labels on the tomatoes you buy. Or maybe not, since what I grabbed thinking it was a cherry tomato plant turned out to be the most amazingly crazy heirloom tomatoes I’ve ever seen.
• That stupidly accented “Oh, hi, ___” people keep referencing is an impression of Tommy Wiseau in The Room.
• The Room is worse than hyperbolic people are making out to be. AND NOT IN AN ENTERTAINING WAY.
• The Crazy Pit of politics does not appear to have a bottom.
• Great horned owls are surprisingly adorable.
• The X-Files is a really boring show.
• But its not!spinoff, Millennium, is pretty good.
• I am not the only grownup in the world who still fails to see the value of homework.
• Peasant blouses are a blast to make.
• The constellation Aquila is right where my uncle swears it is not.
• Sometimes your gallbladder can act up even if there are no gallstones anywhere near you, because your body hates you.
• Apparently Science can predict whether you will shop in a clockwise or counterclockwise pattern in a store—and it seems to correlate with which side of the road your country’s traffic rules say you drive on.
• The subject of "You're So Vain" is apparently a big old secret.  Seriously, knowing it is apparently worth $50,000.
• Dead laptop screens can actually be replaced!

*Somehow I missed the glorious age of Bill Nye, despite being smack in the middle of it. I was too busy watching Ghostwriter, and dammit with the advent of the information superhighway pretty much everything I learned on that show is now about as useful as knowing how to juggle.