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Icon Sez It
Jun. 27th, 2011 07:37 pmI have a big ugly cheese oil stain on my wonderful new jeans. I HAVE THE SADDEST LIFE IN THE WORLD.
The Indifferent Cosmos Did Not Hear My Cry
Jun. 3rd, 2011 11:32 pmI have these really nifty pearl chips I got at the Gem Faire a year or so ago. They’re multicolored and uneven and, of course, shiny, and I got them with the same hope that fuels all my art supply buying: the hope that, eventually, I will have some idea what I want to do with them.
And believe it or not, last night I actually got that idea! It was a darn good one, too. The only worry was whether I’d have enough pearl chips to do it. So I took some seed beads and worked on a netted necklace—I have just learned netting and it’s my latest favorite thing—all the time fretting. I had to have enough pearl chips, right? I could get the whole necklace done, right?
Well, worry not! I did have enough pearl chips to finish the necklace, and it is indeed an inspired bit of art. I would love to show it to you.
There’s just one thing: It’s not finished yet. After a night’s worry about the showcase beads, I ran out of the seed beads instead.
So for now, just take my word for it: it will be a damn cool necklace. Just … as soon as I get another shipment of little brown beads.
And believe it or not, last night I actually got that idea! It was a darn good one, too. The only worry was whether I’d have enough pearl chips to do it. So I took some seed beads and worked on a netted necklace—I have just learned netting and it’s my latest favorite thing—all the time fretting. I had to have enough pearl chips, right? I could get the whole necklace done, right?
Well, worry not! I did have enough pearl chips to finish the necklace, and it is indeed an inspired bit of art. I would love to show it to you.
There’s just one thing: It’s not finished yet. After a night’s worry about the showcase beads, I ran out of the seed beads instead.
So for now, just take my word for it: it will be a damn cool necklace. Just … as soon as I get another shipment of little brown beads.
Maybe McDonald's Is Hiring ...
Apr. 26th, 2011 10:22 pmY’all, I have no damn clue how that interview went.
I think I did all right, but I keep seesawing between that and thinking of the dumb shit that must have come out of my mouth at some point. I am completely at a loss in judging the reactions Nice Reserved Ladies have to whatever garbage I spew out in response to useless questions like “Describe your weaknesses.” (“Sometimes I work too hard and can be too much of a perfectionist! Ha ha!”)*
If only job interviews were more like internet memes. Ask me about cake vs. pie and I will be ready to defend my position with logic, rhetoric, sources, examples, and even dry-erase board illustrations. Come up with the wacky hijinks of Sherlock Holmes and the Phantom of the Opera? I could get you an elaborate scenario in a minute flat! But ask me to “provide examples of your creative problem solving,” and all I can think is “Durr, I can stack up boxes until I reach the banana.”**
Well, if I just blew this interview, at least my supervisor has offered me a consolation job boost. (Ooh, FIFTEEN hours a week! Hooray …) Still … woulda been nice.
*Damn it, I should have said I have trouble integrating my efforts with other people’s and require a lot of communication. Oh, well, next job interview, I guess.
**“And one time I totally figured out how to open a jar to get at the delicious candy inside! The secret is twisting.”
I think I did all right, but I keep seesawing between that and thinking of the dumb shit that must have come out of my mouth at some point. I am completely at a loss in judging the reactions Nice Reserved Ladies have to whatever garbage I spew out in response to useless questions like “Describe your weaknesses.” (“Sometimes I work too hard and can be too much of a perfectionist! Ha ha!”)*
If only job interviews were more like internet memes. Ask me about cake vs. pie and I will be ready to defend my position with logic, rhetoric, sources, examples, and even dry-erase board illustrations. Come up with the wacky hijinks of Sherlock Holmes and the Phantom of the Opera? I could get you an elaborate scenario in a minute flat! But ask me to “provide examples of your creative problem solving,” and all I can think is “Durr, I can stack up boxes until I reach the banana.”**
Well, if I just blew this interview, at least my supervisor has offered me a consolation job boost. (Ooh, FIFTEEN hours a week! Hooray …) Still … woulda been nice.
*Damn it, I should have said I have trouble integrating my efforts with other people’s and require a lot of communication. Oh, well, next job interview, I guess.
**“And one time I totally figured out how to open a jar to get at the delicious candy inside! The secret is twisting.”
Future-Type Injuries
Apr. 23rd, 2011 06:49 pmAgainst all the principles of anatomy, my shoulder is kicking my ass.
It’s a true Injury Of Tomorrow, too: the whole arm is inflamed as a direct result of trying to save my hard drive.
The Teeny Tiny TARDIS, to put it simply, done broke. I suspect it is an actual physical problem: the cord does not stay connected, so while all the information is there, I would have to jimmy the adapter until it hit the right spot and then hold it there in a death grip to view files. This cannot be good for the drive, either, because after a night of this it gave out completely and refused to even acknowledge that anything was going on. I am sure all my files in there are intact, but at the moment I can’t actually connect to them. They are locked in the circuitry, and the thing does not connect outside of itself.
So yeah, my hard drive seems to have come down with autism.
Fortunately I back up my important writing files, because I have learned from previous experience, so the Africa photos and the writings are safe. But I don’t really want to lose half my bootleg MST3ks,* so I’m gonna have to take the poor Teeny Tiny TARDIS in to a computer repair guy.**
Oh, and I’m going to go take some Advil, too.
Modern convenience is annoying sometimes, isn’t it?
*At least not until they actually become commercially available.
**Who will creep around my files and probably be disappointed to find a complete lack of porn.
It’s a true Injury Of Tomorrow, too: the whole arm is inflamed as a direct result of trying to save my hard drive.
The Teeny Tiny TARDIS, to put it simply, done broke. I suspect it is an actual physical problem: the cord does not stay connected, so while all the information is there, I would have to jimmy the adapter until it hit the right spot and then hold it there in a death grip to view files. This cannot be good for the drive, either, because after a night of this it gave out completely and refused to even acknowledge that anything was going on. I am sure all my files in there are intact, but at the moment I can’t actually connect to them. They are locked in the circuitry, and the thing does not connect outside of itself.
So yeah, my hard drive seems to have come down with autism.
Fortunately I back up my important writing files, because I have learned from previous experience, so the Africa photos and the writings are safe. But I don’t really want to lose half my bootleg MST3ks,* so I’m gonna have to take the poor Teeny Tiny TARDIS in to a computer repair guy.**
Oh, and I’m going to go take some Advil, too.
Modern convenience is annoying sometimes, isn’t it?
*At least not until they actually become commercially available.
**Who will creep around my files and probably be disappointed to find a complete lack of porn.
(no subject)
Feb. 14th, 2011 04:05 pmI feel rather bad saying this, but today I discovered that the sound of a cat trying to purr when she has a cold is, unfortunately, pretty funny.
A Fivesome Post---Now With PAIN!
Feb. 5th, 2011 08:27 pmDamn. Here I thought I was all set for dolls for a while, and along comes Inspiration. I now suddenly have terrific ideas for THREE different dolls, all of whom would allow me to come up with different wardrobes and accessories from those of the dolls I currently have, and all of which would be incredibly fun to design. So I have something to look forward to when I have a little spending money. SHUT UP, IT’S NOT A PROBLEM, IT’S A HOBBY.
---
Speaking of dolls, I made a new shirt for one of them! Check out Kuen’s space-themed tunic!
Both top and bottom fabrics are scraps from a quilt kit I have (it’s a hell of a quilt). The design is remarkably similar to one by ampmcreations, which I found through![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
firinel (thanks, Fin!),* but modified to fit a slim-body doll and with snaps instead of velcro in the back. Also, it is not professionally sergerized, since I haven’t got a serger. I still think it looks pretty good, though I’m not sure about using the dark blue thread on the hem. I’d hoped it would be an accent color, but I may redo that hemline …
Oh! And did I mention it alsotravels through time GLOWS IN THE DARK?
---
Meanwhile, I also have the quilt this fabric came from all stitched on top. Now it needs batting, backing, and binding so I went to Dumb Jo-Ann’s to see if I could find either. Problem was, everyone else in the ENTIRE UNIVERSE also decided that Dumb Jo-Ann’s was the place to be on Friday at 4:00, so I had to fight my way through hoards of Grumpy Craft Ladies and mothers of small children. Every last one of those mothers was in that short-circuit daze that happens when you have 2-4 small, energetic kids pulling your sleeve and slamming into Grumpy Craft Ladies and flinging random things in their carts and expounding upon the benefits and drawbacks of their favorite Pokémon. Not easy to get around them when they’re like that. So I was almost relieved when I didn’t find a good indigo flannel back for my blanket, since that meant I wouldn't have to wait in the line to get it cut.
I’ll try another quilt store this week.
---
I am pretty sure the whole Liberry Bunny idea exploded in the hangar, just to reassure y’all. At least, I am HOPING it did. I’ll let y’all know if it ever rears its ugly head again.
---
And finally, check out what happened last week when the burrito I was microwaving exploded and sent molten cheese at me!
That’s the skin on the inside of my forearm, just below the wrist, and this is after a week. It’s amazing what cheese can do!
*I also bought a couple items from them and hope to find more in the future, because it’s perfect clothing for one of those hypothetical dolls I want. Also, quality handmade doll clothes just don’t HAPPEN on the internet. Once you have found it, never let it go.
---
Speaking of dolls, I made a new shirt for one of them! Check out Kuen’s space-themed tunic!
Both top and bottom fabrics are scraps from a quilt kit I have (it’s a hell of a quilt). The design is remarkably similar to one by ampmcreations, which I found through
firinel (thanks, Fin!),* but modified to fit a slim-body doll and with snaps instead of velcro in the back. Also, it is not professionally sergerized, since I haven’t got a serger. I still think it looks pretty good, though I’m not sure about using the dark blue thread on the hem. I’d hoped it would be an accent color, but I may redo that hemline …Oh! And did I mention it also
---
Meanwhile, I also have the quilt this fabric came from all stitched on top. Now it needs batting, backing, and binding so I went to Dumb Jo-Ann’s to see if I could find either. Problem was, everyone else in the ENTIRE UNIVERSE also decided that Dumb Jo-Ann’s was the place to be on Friday at 4:00, so I had to fight my way through hoards of Grumpy Craft Ladies and mothers of small children. Every last one of those mothers was in that short-circuit daze that happens when you have 2-4 small, energetic kids pulling your sleeve and slamming into Grumpy Craft Ladies and flinging random things in their carts and expounding upon the benefits and drawbacks of their favorite Pokémon. Not easy to get around them when they’re like that. So I was almost relieved when I didn’t find a good indigo flannel back for my blanket, since that meant I wouldn't have to wait in the line to get it cut.
I’ll try another quilt store this week.
---
I am pretty sure the whole Liberry Bunny idea exploded in the hangar, just to reassure y’all. At least, I am HOPING it did. I’ll let y’all know if it ever rears its ugly head again.
---
And finally, check out what happened last week when the burrito I was microwaving exploded and sent molten cheese at me!
That’s the skin on the inside of my forearm, just below the wrist, and this is after a week. It’s amazing what cheese can do!
*I also bought a couple items from them and hope to find more in the future, because it’s perfect clothing for one of those hypothetical dolls I want. Also, quality handmade doll clothes just don’t HAPPEN on the internet. Once you have found it, never let it go.
Thanks, all, for Your Thoughts On Library Science. It’s helped me narrow down some ideas for what I want to do next—I have some other ideas, too, which rather appeal to me as well.
In more immediate Liberry news, our branch’s Wheel O’ Staffing has spat out a new manager from one of the other branches, and now we get to wait while she establishes that she is an Effective Manager by fucking shit up. She has big new ideas for how the carts will be shelved, which … well, I get to see if it makes any earthly sense tonight. Should make work interesting, anyway.
Every time we get a new manager* this happens—they come in all ready to Fix Things Up because clearly we are all degenerate slackers who just need to be managed better. This lasts for about a month, during which time people explode chili sauce on the W picture books, poop in the urinals, tag the stacks, leave ice cream bars amongst the paperbacks, dump low-blood-sugared kids off to run around from the end of school until closing, and decide that the music collection labels look better on the floor.** Meanwhile the majority of the patrons, who are pretty cool, are just trying to wade through all this to use the computers for job applications, meet their ESL tutors, have community meetings, or actually god forbid FIND SOME BOOKS TO READ. At that point, the manager starts to figure out why we always look a bit swamped.
The current new manager hasn’t gotten quite there yet. I wish her the best of luck in getting this branch in decent shape, though. If she can do that, by god there should be some kind of prize.
* I’ve been there for a year and a half, and we’ve been through … let’s see … four or six, depending on how you count the assistant managers. Our branch is a revolving door.
**These have all happened.
In more immediate Liberry news, our branch’s Wheel O’ Staffing has spat out a new manager from one of the other branches, and now we get to wait while she establishes that she is an Effective Manager by fucking shit up. She has big new ideas for how the carts will be shelved, which … well, I get to see if it makes any earthly sense tonight. Should make work interesting, anyway.
Every time we get a new manager* this happens—they come in all ready to Fix Things Up because clearly we are all degenerate slackers who just need to be managed better. This lasts for about a month, during which time people explode chili sauce on the W picture books, poop in the urinals, tag the stacks, leave ice cream bars amongst the paperbacks, dump low-blood-sugared kids off to run around from the end of school until closing, and decide that the music collection labels look better on the floor.** Meanwhile the majority of the patrons, who are pretty cool, are just trying to wade through all this to use the computers for job applications, meet their ESL tutors, have community meetings, or actually god forbid FIND SOME BOOKS TO READ. At that point, the manager starts to figure out why we always look a bit swamped.
The current new manager hasn’t gotten quite there yet. I wish her the best of luck in getting this branch in decent shape, though. If she can do that, by god there should be some kind of prize.
* I’ve been there for a year and a half, and we’ve been through … let’s see … four or six, depending on how you count the assistant managers. Our branch is a revolving door.
**These have all happened.
I Need A Bigger Nose
Jan. 26th, 2011 04:32 pmOne of the problems with playing a wind instrument, I’m discovering, is the direct effect one’s sinus troubles have on play quality:
< > *wheeze* v *snorf* < *gasp* > v *inhale* < > *choke* …
If I could only play the Song of Healing through once without wheezing, maybe things would get better …
< > *wheeze* v *snorf* < *gasp* > v *inhale* < > *choke* …
If I could only play the Song of Healing through once without wheezing, maybe things would get better …
Disappointment
Jan. 23rd, 2011 05:51 pmSo this morning I was on a bus with all of my friends, ever, on the way to Disneyworldland. The morning sun promised warmth and dazzling light on a day that would be filled with water slides, roller coasters, catching up with friends, shopping, and more junk food than anyone could possibly want. I felt alive, anticipatory, waiting to expend all my excess energy on the good things life offers.
Then I woke up and had to go to work, where kids whined that they wanted to get on the computer again, patrons turned in books coated with sticky substances and threw things on the floor and demanded to see the MAGIC DVDS behind the counter,* and my supervisor took out her prize-winningly nasty mood on me with a constant barrage of passive-aggressive potshots. Also the latest ailment is the sniffles.
I am thinking I should have stayed on that bus.
Mom wonders why I prefer being asleep.
ETA: Eureka. I just realized that tomorrow is the Feast of St. Emo. This would explain a LOT.
*Everyone is convinced that the DVDs they want are behind the counter waiting to be shelved. Once they’re on the shelf they are boring, but when they are not yet there they are THE ONLY DVDS WORTH LOOKING AT SO WHY CAN’T I JUST COME BACK THERE AND LOOK.
Then I woke up and had to go to work, where kids whined that they wanted to get on the computer again, patrons turned in books coated with sticky substances and threw things on the floor and demanded to see the MAGIC DVDS behind the counter,* and my supervisor took out her prize-winningly nasty mood on me with a constant barrage of passive-aggressive potshots. Also the latest ailment is the sniffles.
I am thinking I should have stayed on that bus.
Mom wonders why I prefer being asleep.
ETA: Eureka. I just realized that tomorrow is the Feast of St. Emo. This would explain a LOT.
*Everyone is convinced that the DVDs they want are behind the counter waiting to be shelved. Once they’re on the shelf they are boring, but when they are not yet there they are THE ONLY DVDS WORTH LOOKING AT SO WHY CAN’T I JUST COME BACK THERE AND LOOK.
Now Open To Names For The League
Jan. 6th, 2011 12:34 pmContracted a bad case of Smashed Hand yesterday at work. Good to be back.
Also, the idea of a league of avenging librarians is starting to sound more and more attractive. Maybe I’ll try to rally us at the meeting today, and we can go around to some of the worst patrons’ houses to throw their books on the floor, leave magazines like Cosmo in the kids’ rooms, tag the bathrooms, hide the DVDs, demand that we be allowed to use the computer all damn day, and of course strew small pieces of paper everywhere. Then we’d all get into a Nac Mac Feegle style free-for-all and brawl out the door, pissing off the homeowners as we knocked shit askew.
I know, I know, it’s not exactly the Justice League, and Batman would frown on it, but look at it this way—the Green Arrow would probably be all over this shit. And if not him, then Deadpool would for sure.
Also, the idea of a league of avenging librarians is starting to sound more and more attractive. Maybe I’ll try to rally us at the meeting today, and we can go around to some of the worst patrons’ houses to throw their books on the floor, leave magazines like Cosmo in the kids’ rooms, tag the bathrooms, hide the DVDs, demand that we be allowed to use the computer all damn day, and of course strew small pieces of paper everywhere. Then we’d all get into a Nac Mac Feegle style free-for-all and brawl out the door, pissing off the homeowners as we knocked shit askew.
I know, I know, it’s not exactly the Justice League, and Batman would frown on it, but look at it this way—the Green Arrow would probably be all over this shit. And if not him, then Deadpool would for sure.
(no subject)
Jan. 4th, 2011 02:49 pmI am starting to grow suspicious of my mittens. I'm not very observant, but I think they may be the common denominator for my pangolin flare-ups.
I'd better just stick to the mermaid gloves until I can get some wintry mittens. At least if my fingers fall off they'll stop ITCHING.
What's the world coming to, when your own mittens are trying to kill you? I ask you.
I'd better just stick to the mermaid gloves until I can get some wintry mittens. At least if my fingers fall off they'll stop ITCHING.
What's the world coming to, when your own mittens are trying to kill you? I ask you.
Dishwasher Fhtagn
Oct. 16th, 2010 07:55 pmSo once again, we are reminded that household appliances want to kill most humans and drive the rest mad, like Lovecraftian Old Ones or Sith Lords or phone trees.
Today’s agent of chaos: the dishwasher, which used an ordinary dinner fork to gouge a huge chunk out of my palm. That’s right, no sexy knife wounds for me. I get fork wounds, which are much farther down on the Wound Coolness Scale, somewhere between Stepping On An Earring Stud and Scraping Your Hand On A Doorknob Latch. I mean, it doesn’t even fall into the ironic glamour of the Spoon Wound, which is so far down the list that it joins up with the top again because, let’s face it, if you are wounded with a spoon, somebody’s got it in for you.
Plus, hand wounds are perilous, what with my job as a book wrangler. Our library stocks some filthy material, and I don’t mean in the Concerned Parents sense. I will die of gangrene if I don’t keep it Band-Aided, which is next to impossible because it is on the palm of my hand. If you don’t hear from me even after enough time has elapsed that I’ve probably seen all of Farscape, you can assume Wound Fever got me.
Today’s agent of chaos: the dishwasher, which used an ordinary dinner fork to gouge a huge chunk out of my palm. That’s right, no sexy knife wounds for me. I get fork wounds, which are much farther down on the Wound Coolness Scale, somewhere between Stepping On An Earring Stud and Scraping Your Hand On A Doorknob Latch. I mean, it doesn’t even fall into the ironic glamour of the Spoon Wound, which is so far down the list that it joins up with the top again because, let’s face it, if you are wounded with a spoon, somebody’s got it in for you.
Plus, hand wounds are perilous, what with my job as a book wrangler. Our library stocks some filthy material, and I don’t mean in the Concerned Parents sense. I will die of gangrene if I don’t keep it Band-Aided, which is next to impossible because it is on the palm of my hand. If you don’t hear from me even after enough time has elapsed that I’ve probably seen all of Farscape, you can assume Wound Fever got me.
YOUR HEAD PLANTSPLODE
Sep. 28th, 2010 05:18 pmMagnificent weather the last few days. Sun-soaked, golden, breezy, and I think they even got that raging fire on the other side of the valley put out, so the smoke is clearing!
And you know what that means! PLANTSPLOSION.
Alpine asters everywhere! (I think they’re alpine. Never been good with plants.) I love scrubby alpine plants. Mom says that when she moved here from California lo these many years ago, she was horrified at how bald the mountains looked. I still don’t understand. They are covered with shrubberies!
Pick your favorite PLANTSPLOSION pollinator caption:
A. COVERED IN BEES!
B. That’ll give you … er, bees.
Unfortunately, I have to love the foliage from indoors, because everyone knows that happy plants = hayfever apocalypse. It is bad, my friends. Every mucus gland is working its gooey little heart out to complement my inflamed sinuses, and my joints are having flashbacks to The Malaria. And I’m not the only one. The gnome who came to fix our stove today was having similar problems, and we had the following conversation about it:
STOVE GNOME: *wheeze* *snorf* *honk*
ME: *whiffle* *sneeze* *snuff*
STOVE GNOME: *understanding honk*
I offered him some juice, but he declined and snuffled his way out to his van. (We’ll get a fixed stove by next year, almost for sure.)
I keep trying to cowboy up, by which I mean I am breathing through bandannas to try to filter some of the crud out of the air. So far it is not working very well. I may have to make another cup of lemon tea to stick my face in.
At least there are bees out making honey for my tea. PLANTSPLOSION isn’t all bad.
And you know what that means! PLANTSPLOSION.
Alpine asters everywhere! (I think they’re alpine. Never been good with plants.) I love scrubby alpine plants. Mom says that when she moved here from California lo these many years ago, she was horrified at how bald the mountains looked. I still don’t understand. They are covered with shrubberies!
Pick your favorite PLANTSPLOSION pollinator caption:
A. COVERED IN BEES!
B. That’ll give you … er, bees.
Unfortunately, I have to love the foliage from indoors, because everyone knows that happy plants = hayfever apocalypse. It is bad, my friends. Every mucus gland is working its gooey little heart out to complement my inflamed sinuses, and my joints are having flashbacks to The Malaria. And I’m not the only one. The gnome who came to fix our stove today was having similar problems, and we had the following conversation about it:
STOVE GNOME: *wheeze* *snorf* *honk*
ME: *whiffle* *sneeze* *snuff*
STOVE GNOME: *understanding honk*
I offered him some juice, but he declined and snuffled his way out to his van. (We’ll get a fixed stove by next year, almost for sure.)
I keep trying to cowboy up, by which I mean I am breathing through bandannas to try to filter some of the crud out of the air. So far it is not working very well. I may have to make another cup of lemon tea to stick my face in.
At least there are bees out making honey for my tea. PLANTSPLOSION isn’t all bad.
Book Bashing
Aug. 30th, 2010 04:12 pmWoke up this morning with moderate nausea and a RAGING MIGRAINE.
“What the hell,” I thought to myself, “where did this come from?”
Then it occurred to me that the migraine could have something to do with the large hardbound book that managed a gravity-fueled pile-drive into the back of my skull yesterday.
Anyone who says library work is easy has obviously never worked in one. Come back to me after you’ve run over your foot with a book truck and then we'll see what's what.
“What the hell,” I thought to myself, “where did this come from?”
Then it occurred to me that the migraine could have something to do with the large hardbound book that managed a gravity-fueled pile-drive into the back of my skull yesterday.
Anyone who says library work is easy has obviously never worked in one. Come back to me after you’ve run over your foot with a book truck and then we'll see what's what.
So I broke down crying tonight because Charlie continues not to be around. It’s possible she’s just taken off till the emotions blow over, and she’ll be back at some point, but it’s also quite likely that my rather stupid cat went and got herself et or blowed up or something.
And tonight it became apparent that the uncertainty is stressing me out just a tad.
I’m always surprsied at how physical distress is—I kind of feel like vampires got me. I’m mostly sitting around aimlessly watching MST3k and doing logic puzzles, although sometimes I’ll summon the energy to ruin some sci-fi or do some art or something.* Not very exciting, but I think I need a little bit of a break from the world again.
That’s the plan, anyway. With luck this funk will either end with the return of the cat, or my graceful acceptance of her absence as I also attempt to gracefully accept my uncle’s absence. I just hope that ends soon. I hate being sad.
*When I get back to the sewing thing again, there will be a few new outfits for Daja. And I will also have some questions for you folks about a project I’m toying with …
And tonight it became apparent that the uncertainty is stressing me out just a tad.
I’m always surprsied at how physical distress is—I kind of feel like vampires got me. I’m mostly sitting around aimlessly watching MST3k and doing logic puzzles, although sometimes I’ll summon the energy to ruin some sci-fi or do some art or something.* Not very exciting, but I think I need a little bit of a break from the world again.
That’s the plan, anyway. With luck this funk will either end with the return of the cat, or my graceful acceptance of her absence as I also attempt to gracefully accept my uncle’s absence. I just hope that ends soon. I hate being sad.
*When I get back to the sewing thing again, there will be a few new outfits for Daja. And I will also have some questions for you folks about a project I’m toying with …
I have acquired new pants!
It’s about flippin’ time, too, as my old were … nearing the status of “publically unacceptable.”*
Fortunately, yesterday the mall felt like being cooperative, and on my first try I found a stack of variously colored stretchy jeans!** It’s a miracle.
I had to pay for that miracle a few minutes later when I decided to pick up some soap while I was at the mall, and found that, once again, Bath and Body Works has discontinued one of my favorite scents. You can no longer get Moonlight Path soap? What the hell is this? Do they hire a guy to track my purchases and discontinue products accordingly? Come on, assholes—Bath and Body Works products are some of the few pleasures I can get with my myopic (myosmic?) sense of smell, and you are taking that away.
I’d say “at least it’s still available as a lotion,” but that would just jinx it further, wouldn’t it?
But it was a good trip otherwise. Money was hemorrhaged, but at least I have new pants! And they were entertaining pants, too, because each one came with a Da Vinci Code's worth of stickers, tags, labels, and instructions. Now I just have to hem them to fit my hobbit legs, so that I am no longer standing around in a puddle of jeans cuffs, and all will be well!
I think I’m going to make the back pockets of my old thigh-exposing jeans into hanging pockets. I may also get a pair of doll jeans out of them. I might just give a Viking funeral to what’s left after that, though. Thrift can only be taken so far.
*“How do you even manage to get holes there?” my brother asked. “Fat thighs,” I told him.
Turns out this isn’t entirely true. My elf-skinny sister gets the same holes in hers, so it just must have to do with having WOMEN thighs.
**Including a pair of really terrific maroon ones, which are doomed to be forever referred to as my “Joker Jeans.”
It’s about flippin’ time, too, as my old were … nearing the status of “publically unacceptable.”*
Fortunately, yesterday the mall felt like being cooperative, and on my first try I found a stack of variously colored stretchy jeans!** It’s a miracle.
I had to pay for that miracle a few minutes later when I decided to pick up some soap while I was at the mall, and found that, once again, Bath and Body Works has discontinued one of my favorite scents. You can no longer get Moonlight Path soap? What the hell is this? Do they hire a guy to track my purchases and discontinue products accordingly? Come on, assholes—Bath and Body Works products are some of the few pleasures I can get with my myopic (myosmic?) sense of smell, and you are taking that away.
I’d say “at least it’s still available as a lotion,” but that would just jinx it further, wouldn’t it?
But it was a good trip otherwise. Money was hemorrhaged, but at least I have new pants! And they were entertaining pants, too, because each one came with a Da Vinci Code's worth of stickers, tags, labels, and instructions. Now I just have to hem them to fit my hobbit legs, so that I am no longer standing around in a puddle of jeans cuffs, and all will be well!
I think I’m going to make the back pockets of my old thigh-exposing jeans into hanging pockets. I may also get a pair of doll jeans out of them. I might just give a Viking funeral to what’s left after that, though. Thrift can only be taken so far.
*“How do you even manage to get holes there?” my brother asked. “Fat thighs,” I told him.
Turns out this isn’t entirely true. My elf-skinny sister gets the same holes in hers, so it just must have to do with having WOMEN thighs.
**Including a pair of really terrific maroon ones, which are doomed to be forever referred to as my “Joker Jeans.”
Those Were Dark Days
Jul. 13th, 2010 11:05 pmIs it sad that, amidst all the launching of American Girl's MMO and the rebranding of the modern dolls again and the eclipsing of the historicals and the STRONG OPINIONS of fellow doll geeks, I am most amused by this?
That’s right, kids! Now you, too, can inflict the horrors of orthodontia upon your doll! Grind her cheeks intopretend hamburger with these braces! Make her more aware of the back of her neck than she’s ever been with this headgear!* Even comes with bolus decals you can stick on her teeth to simulate half-chewed food caught in her braces and retainer!
Okay, it doesn’t come with that last one. It does come with braces decals, though, and what they say is a retainer but as far as I can tell is a mouth guard.
One thing it does not come with, for which I am eternally grateful, is a hideous personal memory called a Herbst, which I think was complex enough to reach the status of “contraption.” What happened was, your evil orthodontist would put stainless steel bands around your upper molars. Bolted to these, with hinges, were tubes that actually just hung loose in your mouth unless you put in the rest of the contraption, which was a giant plastic blob like a mouthguard over your bottom teeth. It also had little metal rods bolted to it, which fit into the metal tubes flapping around from your molars. The idea was that the rods could only go back as far as the length of the tube, keeping your lower jaw from moving too far back, and thus theoretically correcting your overbite.
And, in the process, trapping food, hacking your gums and mouth to pieces, making it impossible to talk,** and earning you the scorn of your friends.
I’d say leaving it out was a smart move on AG’s part. Doll headgear is plenty mean all on its own. My dolls are molded better than I was, so they get spared that indignity anyway.
*Not just a rash, neither! I honestly believe that it was misaligned headgear that caused my neck to wrench painfully one morning in the shower, causing me to actually pass out from pain. (For the record, I do not recommend passing out in the shower.)
**“What’s that thing?” “Ihh a hurhhhn.” “I’ll bet it hurts!” “Nuh, ihh cahhd a HURHHN.”
That’s right, kids! Now you, too, can inflict the horrors of orthodontia upon your doll! Grind her cheeks into
Okay, it doesn’t come with that last one. It does come with braces decals, though, and what they say is a retainer but as far as I can tell is a mouth guard.
One thing it does not come with, for which I am eternally grateful, is a hideous personal memory called a Herbst, which I think was complex enough to reach the status of “contraption.” What happened was, your evil orthodontist would put stainless steel bands around your upper molars. Bolted to these, with hinges, were tubes that actually just hung loose in your mouth unless you put in the rest of the contraption, which was a giant plastic blob like a mouthguard over your bottom teeth. It also had little metal rods bolted to it, which fit into the metal tubes flapping around from your molars. The idea was that the rods could only go back as far as the length of the tube, keeping your lower jaw from moving too far back, and thus theoretically correcting your overbite.
And, in the process, trapping food, hacking your gums and mouth to pieces, making it impossible to talk,** and earning you the scorn of your friends.
I’d say leaving it out was a smart move on AG’s part. Doll headgear is plenty mean all on its own. My dolls are molded better than I was, so they get spared that indignity anyway.
*Not just a rash, neither! I honestly believe that it was misaligned headgear that caused my neck to wrench painfully one morning in the shower, causing me to actually pass out from pain. (For the record, I do not recommend passing out in the shower.)
**“What’s that thing?” “Ihh a hurhhhn.” “I’ll bet it hurts!” “Nuh, ihh cahhd a HURHHN.”
Busy, Busy
Jun. 5th, 2010 12:09 amSo! Despite my getting a cold that laid me low for a few days, it’s been rather busy around here, starting with moving my sister into her new apartment on Monday. I feel a lot better about dumping her at this place, because unless toast_zombie leads an implausible double life, this time there will probably not be perpetual drunken sex parties. This is encouraging, I think.
---
Also, I shrunk a favorite pair of pants because I forgot they were in the load so I ran them through the dryer. They feel okay, but I am assured that in the butt region they do not look okay. So now I am down a pair of pretty brown harem pants.
I tried my damndest to find a duplicate, unshrunken pair, but all my efforts went to waste. That’s the trouble with hippie clothes. So I went the alternate route and added a couple of thigh-length dresses, which I treat as Long Shirts, to my Long Shirt collection. Now I’ll just wear shirts that cover the butt part of my pants. PROBLEM SOLVED.
---
Also, today was the LAST DAY OF SCHOOL! I know this because I was there, at my old elementary school, right for that excellent Feast of Fools ritual when report cards are handed out, and once you get it you are FREE FOR THE SUMMER.* Which means that as kids streamed out we got to see the full spectrum of human tragicomedy, from tears at finding out you and your friend don’t have the same teacher next year to glee that it’s FUCKING SUMMER YES.**
The reason I was there was twofold: my first-grade teacher had offered to get me the name of a contact who can evidently help me break into the Writing Biz, and my sixth-grade math teacher is retiring. So I thanked one for the help (“I remember you being a lot taller”), and said farewell to the other. The waist-high chaos and anarchy was a bonus.
---
Had to reschedule the cats’ Tuesday appointment, so they got to go to the vet today. The vet says that for old cats, they’re looking darn good, healthy and happy. Right at this moment, the cats would disagree with him. They had to go to the vet, so there is no justice in the world.
---
The last thing I’m up to warrants an entry all its own, what with the dirt and the power tools. Basically, here’s the deal: I have decided that I need some useful skills. I have a whole list of things I want to learn how to do, but the first is small-space food growing.
So I’ve built*** a couple of self-watering container gardens. I’m conditioning the soil right now, and in a couple days I’m going to get me some vegables and herbs and try to see what will grow well out on the deck. I am a pretty clueless gardener, but I have the help of my mom, who is clueful, and a Book that tells me what to do. And, probably, a simple source of advice here in this blog.
For now, though, I think it’s time to make a snack and take a break. It’s been a busy day.
*Unless you have one of those darn parents who feels that summer is a gaping hole that must be filled end-to-end with Structured Activities, and you have no time to just do whatever it is you can think of because you’re constantly getting ferried from baseball to ballet class to Camp. There were a few wonderful Structured Activities in my summer, but not enough to get in the way of some good downtime.
**Though my favorite moment was seeing a small child’s Candy Radar go off. She was waiting with her mother for some sibling to emerge from their room, when another parent came up carrying a couple of shopping bags containing what were obviously carefully put-together candy packages. My brother and I both saw the girl suddenly fix her full, undivided attention on these bags.
The greatest thing was knowing exactly what was going through her head: the GET CANDY conniving. I recognize that all-important thought process: “That is candy. It’s obviously not meant for me, but rather for my sibling’s class. However, if I do this right, I can orchestrate it so that I get some candy too.” Kid finally went with the classic strategy of dragging her mom into the sibling’s classroom, on the familiar principle that once you are in the classroom, the grownups’ sense of fairness means that you will get a candy package too.
***Okay, jerry-rigged.
toast_zombie leads an implausible double life, this time there will probably not be perpetual drunken sex parties. This is encouraging, I think.---
Also, I shrunk a favorite pair of pants because I forgot they were in the load so I ran them through the dryer. They feel okay, but I am assured that in the butt region they do not look okay. So now I am down a pair of pretty brown harem pants.
I tried my damndest to find a duplicate, unshrunken pair, but all my efforts went to waste. That’s the trouble with hippie clothes. So I went the alternate route and added a couple of thigh-length dresses, which I treat as Long Shirts, to my Long Shirt collection. Now I’ll just wear shirts that cover the butt part of my pants. PROBLEM SOLVED.
---
Also, today was the LAST DAY OF SCHOOL! I know this because I was there, at my old elementary school, right for that excellent Feast of Fools ritual when report cards are handed out, and once you get it you are FREE FOR THE SUMMER.* Which means that as kids streamed out we got to see the full spectrum of human tragicomedy, from tears at finding out you and your friend don’t have the same teacher next year to glee that it’s FUCKING SUMMER YES.**
The reason I was there was twofold: my first-grade teacher had offered to get me the name of a contact who can evidently help me break into the Writing Biz, and my sixth-grade math teacher is retiring. So I thanked one for the help (“I remember you being a lot taller”), and said farewell to the other. The waist-high chaos and anarchy was a bonus.
---
Had to reschedule the cats’ Tuesday appointment, so they got to go to the vet today. The vet says that for old cats, they’re looking darn good, healthy and happy. Right at this moment, the cats would disagree with him. They had to go to the vet, so there is no justice in the world.
---
The last thing I’m up to warrants an entry all its own, what with the dirt and the power tools. Basically, here’s the deal: I have decided that I need some useful skills. I have a whole list of things I want to learn how to do, but the first is small-space food growing.
So I’ve built*** a couple of self-watering container gardens. I’m conditioning the soil right now, and in a couple days I’m going to get me some vegables and herbs and try to see what will grow well out on the deck. I am a pretty clueless gardener, but I have the help of my mom, who is clueful, and a Book that tells me what to do. And, probably, a simple source of advice here in this blog.
For now, though, I think it’s time to make a snack and take a break. It’s been a busy day.
*Unless you have one of those darn parents who feels that summer is a gaping hole that must be filled end-to-end with Structured Activities, and you have no time to just do whatever it is you can think of because you’re constantly getting ferried from baseball to ballet class to Camp. There were a few wonderful Structured Activities in my summer, but not enough to get in the way of some good downtime.
**Though my favorite moment was seeing a small child’s Candy Radar go off. She was waiting with her mother for some sibling to emerge from their room, when another parent came up carrying a couple of shopping bags containing what were obviously carefully put-together candy packages. My brother and I both saw the girl suddenly fix her full, undivided attention on these bags.
The greatest thing was knowing exactly what was going through her head: the GET CANDY conniving. I recognize that all-important thought process: “That is candy. It’s obviously not meant for me, but rather for my sibling’s class. However, if I do this right, I can orchestrate it so that I get some candy too.” Kid finally went with the classic strategy of dragging her mom into the sibling’s classroom, on the familiar principle that once you are in the classroom, the grownups’ sense of fairness means that you will get a candy package too.
***Okay, jerry-rigged.
NERD SMASH
Apr. 30th, 2010 06:24 pmEnjoyed about two minutes of fast internet today. Qwest has some kind of grudge against our phone number, as far as we can make out, so they’re sending us slow internet. Or something. I’m not really sure, but it’s getting really, really obnoxious. Till then, well, I assure you all I’m doing science and I’m still alive, though my blood pressure may skyrocket if this keeps up. With luck we’ll get this fixed soon. If not, well … try not to destroy the cyberuniverse while I’m gone.
Okay, so I’m hoping I’m over the miniature personal crisis I was having yesterday. Some days are like that. I just was sorry it had to be my brother’s birthday. I mean, sure, he’s turning 23, so he’s philosophical about uninspiring birthdays more than, say, an 8-year-old would be, but it’s still a bit guilt-inducing when you spend the whole day trawling for reassurance that you’re not a waste of good carbon, worrying you have some kind of medical condition, etc.
And in equally fun and exciting news, I’m sure you’re all dying to hear about Monday’s car accident! It was one of those stupid, anticlimactic ones that could have been a hell of a lot worse. I was cruising off a freeway exit when the car in front of me slammed on the brakes; I hit mine and had that fun moment of “HOSHIT GONNA HIT HIM.” But I managed to stop, and was feeling pretty smart about how much space I give the car in front of me and BONK the car behind me thunked into me and knocked my bumper askew.
I was mostly just relieved that the new tail light array we got last month wasn’t damaged.
Anyway, the weirdest thing about fender benders is the part where you go on with your day. I'm always under the impression that car accidents are enough to cancel the rest of the day, but even so I went on to work and apologized for being a little late. Everyone was really sympathetic, including my manager when she finally noticed.* But it was still rather surreal.
But! Today is sunny and chill, Mom loved episode 2 of Doctors!, I discovered that I had saved a game of Wind Waker just after beating the first runthrough,** I have calmed down enough to pay real attention tofadethecat's story (sorry for the delay, Fade!), and I just got a message that my order of chainmail stuff has been sent. Today is a better day all around!
*My manager, for the record, is definitely on the Asperger spectrum. Folks think I'M weird ...
**For those who haven’t played it, this means that you get to do a second runthrough on the same file with some Easter eggs, the most obvious of which is that Link elects to go through the entire game in his lobster-themed pajamas.
And in equally fun and exciting news, I’m sure you’re all dying to hear about Monday’s car accident! It was one of those stupid, anticlimactic ones that could have been a hell of a lot worse. I was cruising off a freeway exit when the car in front of me slammed on the brakes; I hit mine and had that fun moment of “HOSHIT GONNA HIT HIM.” But I managed to stop, and was feeling pretty smart about how much space I give the car in front of me and BONK the car behind me thunked into me and knocked my bumper askew.
I was mostly just relieved that the new tail light array we got last month wasn’t damaged.
Anyway, the weirdest thing about fender benders is the part where you go on with your day. I'm always under the impression that car accidents are enough to cancel the rest of the day, but even so I went on to work and apologized for being a little late. Everyone was really sympathetic, including my manager when she finally noticed.* But it was still rather surreal.
But! Today is sunny and chill, Mom loved episode 2 of Doctors!, I discovered that I had saved a game of Wind Waker just after beating the first runthrough,** I have calmed down enough to pay real attention to
fadethecat's story (sorry for the delay, Fade!), and I just got a message that my order of chainmail stuff has been sent. Today is a better day all around!*My manager, for the record, is definitely on the Asperger spectrum. Folks think I'M weird ...
**For those who haven’t played it, this means that you get to do a second runthrough on the same file with some Easter eggs, the most obvious of which is that Link elects to go through the entire game in his lobster-themed pajamas.
