![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bloodyrosemccoyI have acquired new pants!
It’s about flippin’ time, too, as my old were … nearing the status of “publically unacceptable.”*
Fortunately, yesterday the mall felt like being cooperative, and on my first try I found a stack of variously colored stretchy jeans!** It’s a miracle.
I had to pay for that miracle a few minutes later when I decided to pick up some soap while I was at the mall, and found that, once again, Bath and Body Works has discontinued one of my favorite scents. You can no longer get Moonlight Path soap? What the hell is this? Do they hire a guy to track my purchases and discontinue products accordingly? Come on, assholes—Bath and Body Works products are some of the few pleasures I can get with my myopic (myosmic?) sense of smell, and you are taking that away.
I’d say “at least it’s still available as a lotion,” but that would just jinx it further, wouldn’t it?
But it was a good trip otherwise. Money was hemorrhaged, but at least I have new pants! And they were entertaining pants, too, because each one came with a Da Vinci Code's worth of stickers, tags, labels, and instructions. Now I just have to hem them to fit my hobbit legs, so that I am no longer standing around in a puddle of jeans cuffs, and all will be well!
I think I’m going to make the back pockets of my old thigh-exposing jeans into hanging pockets. I may also get a pair of doll jeans out of them. I might just give a Viking funeral to what’s left after that, though. Thrift can only be taken so far.
*“How do you even manage to get holes there?” my brother asked. “Fat thighs,” I told him.
Turns out this isn’t entirely true. My elf-skinny sister gets the same holes in hers, so it just must have to do with having WOMEN thighs.
**Including a pair of really terrific maroon ones, which are doomed to be forever referred to as my “Joker Jeans.”
It’s about flippin’ time, too, as my old were … nearing the status of “publically unacceptable.”*
Fortunately, yesterday the mall felt like being cooperative, and on my first try I found a stack of variously colored stretchy jeans!** It’s a miracle.
I had to pay for that miracle a few minutes later when I decided to pick up some soap while I was at the mall, and found that, once again, Bath and Body Works has discontinued one of my favorite scents. You can no longer get Moonlight Path soap? What the hell is this? Do they hire a guy to track my purchases and discontinue products accordingly? Come on, assholes—Bath and Body Works products are some of the few pleasures I can get with my myopic (myosmic?) sense of smell, and you are taking that away.
I’d say “at least it’s still available as a lotion,” but that would just jinx it further, wouldn’t it?
But it was a good trip otherwise. Money was hemorrhaged, but at least I have new pants! And they were entertaining pants, too, because each one came with a Da Vinci Code's worth of stickers, tags, labels, and instructions. Now I just have to hem them to fit my hobbit legs, so that I am no longer standing around in a puddle of jeans cuffs, and all will be well!
I think I’m going to make the back pockets of my old thigh-exposing jeans into hanging pockets. I may also get a pair of doll jeans out of them. I might just give a Viking funeral to what’s left after that, though. Thrift can only be taken so far.
*“How do you even manage to get holes there?” my brother asked. “Fat thighs,” I told him.
Turns out this isn’t entirely true. My elf-skinny sister gets the same holes in hers, so it just must have to do with having WOMEN thighs.
**Including a pair of really terrific maroon ones, which are doomed to be forever referred to as my “Joker Jeans.”
