Adventures With Dairy Products

[bloodyrosemccoy]

Amelia: (opening fridge) Hey, milk! All right! I haven’t had milk in days!

 

(Amelia pours herself a glass and takes a long swig)

 

Milk: TREMBLE, GAG REFLEX, FOR I AM BECOME CHEESE!

 

Amelia: *sploooorf* Auugh! Damn thee, vile beverage! Thou hast turnèd!

 

Milk: (deranged cackling) Lay down thy arms, thy puny defenses cannot repel me!

 

Amelia: Then I banish thee forthwith!

 

(Amelia pours Milk down the sink)

 

Milk: (disappearing down the drain) Thou hast not seen the last of me! I shall haunt thee! Now every time thou pourest a glass, thou shalt wonder if ’tis true milk, or if ’tis tainted by the evils of bacterial growth! THIS IS NOT THE END!

 

(Milk is gone)

 

Amelia: Damn. So much for hot chocolate tonight.

Comments

[blackbyrd2.livejournal.com]

Tis true. From now on, each sip will be cautiously approached, requiring a quick peek at the expiration date at the very least, or cautious sniffing.

The one time I made that mistake, I gagged, and then, every time I thought about having a sip, or remembered that taste, I gagged again. It is a most heinous taste.

Fortunately, time heals all wounds, and I now lurve my dairy product again.