Adventures With Dairy Products

[bloodyrosemccoy]

Amelia: (opening fridge) Hey, milk! All right! I haven’t had milk in days!

 

(Amelia pours herself a glass and takes a long swig)

 

Milk: TREMBLE, GAG REFLEX, FOR I AM BECOME CHEESE!

 

Amelia: *sploooorf* Auugh! Damn thee, vile beverage! Thou hast turnèd!

 

Milk: (deranged cackling) Lay down thy arms, thy puny defenses cannot repel me!

 

Amelia: Then I banish thee forthwith!

 

(Amelia pours Milk down the sink)

 

Milk: (disappearing down the drain) Thou hast not seen the last of me! I shall haunt thee! Now every time thou pourest a glass, thou shalt wonder if ’tis true milk, or if ’tis tainted by the evils of bacterial growth! THIS IS NOT THE END!

 

(Milk is gone)

 

Amelia: Damn. So much for hot chocolate tonight.