Adventures With Dairy Products

[bloodyrosemccoy]

Amelia: (opening fridge) Hey, milk! All right! I haven’t had milk in days!

 

(Amelia pours herself a glass and takes a long swig)

 

Milk: TREMBLE, GAG REFLEX, FOR I AM BECOME CHEESE!

 

Amelia: *sploooorf* Auugh! Damn thee, vile beverage! Thou hast turnèd!

 

Milk: (deranged cackling) Lay down thy arms, thy puny defenses cannot repel me!

 

Amelia: Then I banish thee forthwith!

 

(Amelia pours Milk down the sink)

 

Milk: (disappearing down the drain) Thou hast not seen the last of me! I shall haunt thee! Now every time thou pourest a glass, thou shalt wonder if ’tis true milk, or if ’tis tainted by the evils of bacterial growth! THIS IS NOT THE END!

 

(Milk is gone)

 

Amelia: Damn. So much for hot chocolate tonight.

Comments

[blackbyrd2.livejournal.com]

Tis true. From now on, each sip will be cautiously approached, requiring a quick peek at the expiration date at the very least, or cautious sniffing.

The one time I made that mistake, I gagged, and then, every time I thought about having a sip, or remembered that taste, I gagged again. It is a most heinous taste.

Fortunately, time heals all wounds, and I now lurve my dairy product again.

[wyndfire.livejournal.com]

Me thinks that perhaps you should keep your Shakespeare farther away from the kitchen... it appears that the milk acquired a liking for it while it was living in your fridge.... ;)

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

It had only been there for a day. It's a quick study, I guess. ;)

[principessar.livejournal.com]

Oh man, this and the other post about the wedding are hilarious! I love your journal, hehe. You make so much sense!

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Thanks! That's two tally marks for me. *tallies up 'hilarious' and 'make so much sense'* Glad you liked it! ;)

[gondolinchick01.livejournal.com]

*applause*

[ellixis.livejournal.com]

Once, when I was very young and not yet wise, I left a sippy bottle of milk on my desk. Some days later, I spotted it, remembered that I had left it there, went "oh, hey, milk!" and took a sip.

The lesson stuck.

[marajade893.livejournal.com]

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