Spaghetti Sauce Time!

[bloodyrosemccoy]

About three months ago my sister sunshine_shaman and I made us some spaghetti sauce, and took pictures so we could show y’all how to make our famously amazing sauce. Since then, she’s been after me to post it. “For crying out loud,” she said. “People are putting olives in their sauce! They must be stopped!”

This is true. The word of Grandma’s Spaghetti Sauce must be spread. So, by god, it is time to stop procrastinating and MAKE SOME DAMN SAUCE.



Here is what you’ll need:

-4-5 12-oz cans of tomato paste. The family insists that Contadina is the best, but it’s tough to find around here, so Hunt’s will work for today.
-3 cans of water to every can of paste
-1 green pepper
-1½ cup sliced mushrooms
-4 large garlic cloves
-olive oil

And then the really important stuff …



Seasonings!

-2 2/3 Tbsp salt
-1 ½ Tbsp Italian seasoning
-1 Tbsp dried oregano
-1 Tbsp parsley
-4 Tbsp basil
-¾ tsp ground cinnamon (I’ve got it in the same bowl as the cloves here, because I ran out of little bowls)
-¾ tsp ground cloves
-dash of pepper (in with the salt in this photo)
-6 bay leaves (not pictured)

All of these measurements were obtained in a somewhat roundabout way: Grandma never measured, she’d just pinch and dash. So one time when she made this sauce, Mom would stop her before she actually tossed each seasoning into the pot, measure the amount, and write it down. So yeah, it’s variable.

Two more thing you’ll need, in case you haven’t guessed already. First, you are going to need a big damn pot. This recipe makes a lot of sauce. It’s got to reduce, you see, so you start with a ton. But don’t worry: your friends will be appy to take home leftovers. If you don’t have friends, you will once you make this.

The second thing you will need is time. Start this midmorning, or you will have spaghetti juice instead of spaghetti sauce.

Anyway.



Chop peppers, crush garlic, slice mushrooms.


Saute the peppers and garlic in a couple tablspoons of olive oil on medium low until soft.



Shroomify. Give it another couple of minutes.



All right, got your 3:1 cans of water and tomato paste? Good. Dump ’em all in! It will look like gazpacho at this point. Don’t panic! It’s supposed to look this way.



While you’re bringing it to a boil, stir in the seasonings!



Okay, dangit, I would like to say this about cinnamon and cloves: they MAKE the sauce. Everyone always looks at me with amazement when I say that they are the secret ingredient. Then they try my sauce. And they do not question Grandma’s wisdom after that.

Trust me. Cinnamon. You’ll thank me.

Okay, got that all set up? Seasonings added, sauce is boiling? Great!



If you don’t want meatballs you can leave it now. Cover it with a splatter shield if you’ve got one, reduce the heat to low, and let that puppy sit there for five or six hours.

But seriously, who doesn’t want meatballs? Come on, let’s make some meatballs while the sauce is just starting to simmer.

Okay, here’s where it gets a little difficult for me. Don’t get me wrong, I make terrific meatballs. But I am not entirely sure how. I don’t measure the ingredients at this part. I just mix them together until they are the correct meatball consistency, and I only know it’s right after they’re all mixed, so it’s hard to pull them apart again and measure what I used. But here’s a rough estimate of what I use:

-1 lb ground beef
-1 egg
-1½ - 2 cups bread crumbs—I use the Progresso Italian Style crumbs in the cardboard tubes, but we have been known to use crushed saltines in a pinch. Those don’t taste quite as good, but they are lots of fun to whack with a meat tenderizer to crush.
-1/3 cup each of finely chopped onions and celery. Maybe? I’m not sure. Once again, I always just add until I’ve got the right stuff. Experiment!

Mix these all together with your fingers, unless you’re my sister, at which point you should ask someone who is willing to handle raw meat to do it for you.



Meatballs should hold their shape firmly and not fall apart on you when you get their consistency right. Do not listen to Dad, who likes to tell you that when a raw meatball sticks to the wall it is ready. He is pulling your leg.



Brown the meatballs on low. You don’t need to cook them through, just get their outsides browned. Once that happens, toss ’em into the sauce. They’ll finish cooking over the next few hours.



Okay, now you meat-lovers can cover it, reduce the heat, and simmer. And then you can go off and play racquetball, or help your friend move, or watch the entire Star Wars trilogy (the good one), or whatever you feel like, until dinnertime, as long as you check on it periodically to make sure it hasn’t taken over your kitchen.

All righty! Almost dinnertime!



Oh, thank god, it’s thickened. And don’t it look delicious?

Hang on, aren’t we forgetting something? Seems there should be one more thing here …



Oh, right.

The spaghetti package should tell you how to cook it. It’s not hard. Bring water to a boil, add spaghetti, let boil ten minutes, drain, and coat with olive oil. At least that wasn’t hard, right?

Now serve it! I like garlic bread on the side with mine, but that’s optional. And don’t forget the parmesan!



One last word of warning: don’t eat all of this at once. It’s tempting, but it never turns out well. If worst comes to worst, you can freeze the sauce—yes, it’s not quite as good, but hey, it’s still damn fine sauce!

There you have it. If y’all insist on making inferior spaghetti sauce after I have shown you the light, that’s your problem. But give this a shot! It’s fun to make, and damn tasty. See if I'm wrong.

Comments

[marag.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I've needed a good spaghetti sauce recipe for awhile now, so I'm bookmarking this to try it soon. I can't decide whether to try meatballs or not. If I do, then I can't have cheese :( I think I'd rather have cheese on my spaghetti...

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Ooh, I wouldn't have thought of that. I would pick the meatballs myself ...

[cougarfang.livejournal.com]

Oh man, Albert and I eat cheap-ass pasta in cheap-ass sauce all the time - I'm half-afraid that if we ever try this gourmet home-cooking type thing, we'll never be able to go back. XD

Re: meatballs> You could try a different indirect method of measurement, in which you start with a known quantity of each ingredient, put stuff in till it feels right, and subtract what's left from your starting quantity.

[lookingforwater.livejournal.com]

What if you hate mushrooms? Can you leave the mushrooms out? Because god do I hate mushrooms.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

I don't understand. You don't ... WANT ... mushrooms?

You can leave them out, but just know that I think you are crazy.

[lookingforwater.livejournal.com]

I'm not the one eating something that grew in a manure pile.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

No vegetables at all then, huh?

[lookingforwater.livejournal.com]

Mushrooms are not merely fertilized with manure. They grow out of it. They are squishy and taste like a pimple looks. Everything about them is made of disgustingness and people who eat them confuse me.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Is why you WASH THEM. But given my violent hatred of zucchini and all things invertebrate, I respect your distaste!

[lookingforwater.livejournal.com]

You'd be amazed how few do. If I had a dollar for every time someone tried to trick me into eating mushrooms like I was friggin' five years old or something...

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Gah, tell me about it. I've considered pleading a violent shellfish allergy just so that people would stop taking my distaste for seafood as a CHALLENGE.

[lookingforwater.livejournal.com]

I am frequently tempted! I find professional or dedicated amateur cooks tend to be the worst about this. I have this theory that as soon as you start approaching cooking as a Glorious Vision of Artistic Integrity and not as making tasty food for eating you start forgetting how to respect other people's tastes.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

I caught an entire episode of that Worst Cooks In America show dedicated to steamrolling personal taste. They made their contestants cook with food they hated, and dress calamari. It was like Food Factor.

The most my pals and I do is offer opinions like "You are crazy for liking/hating __." Going beyond that, or belaboring it, is obnoxious as hell, though.

[beccastareyes]

Huh. I'm not really one for tomato paste, since it usually tastes 'off' to me. I suppose using diced tomatoes instead would require adjusting the water content.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Probably. Not sure how to, though.

That's purportedly why my family prefes Contadina ... It tastes less bitter. I haven't paid enough attention to be able to corroborate, but you could try it.

[westrider.livejournal.com]

It's true. I'm quite sensitive to the bitterness in tomato sauces and such, and Contadina is significantly less bitter than other types I've tried.

[booksnchocolate.livejournal.com]

Dude. That looks amazing. Holy spaghetti cravings, Batman! :D Also, I love that you included pictures; it looks like such fun.

[daiq.livejournal.com]

What other secret recipes does your grandma have? I am always on the hunt for (easy) tastyness without tomato!

[stormteller.livejournal.com]

I prefer to make my sauces without a recipe, using whatever I can find that might conceivably be interesting, so that each one is unique. This one looks like pretty standard goodness, though. I can understand the cinnamon. Cinnamon goes with everything. Cloves seem like too much pungence though. I would also throw in a handful of jalapeños and a couple of habaneros, because I like the spicy. Alternately, the chilis can be worked into the meatballs, if you chop them finely enough.

[pixel39.livejournal.com]

The trick to using cloves is to start with a teeny tiny bit, let it mellow for fifteen minutes, and taste. Add more if you think you need to, wait another fifteen minutes, taste again. Keep notes as to how much you've added, and eventually you will hit on the proper amount.

[pixel39.livejournal.com]

I actually LIKE olives in my sauce, but they must be kalamata olives and chopped reasonably finely.

I respect people's dislikes as long as they can explain to me WHY they dislike something. Because really, if you can't elucidate your reasons for disliking cauliflower, then you're just faking it. Then there's my friend who is violently allergic to all sorts of things including mushrooms.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Just realized I'd never replied to this, but honestly, I don't require an explanation for a dislike. I may give some guff about dislikes I don't share but "I just don't like cauliflower" is a legitimate excuse for me, and I will not harass you into eating it. (Especially since I just don't like cauliflower.)

I love olives, but not in this sauce. Perhaps you will enjoy them, though!

[baroncognito.livejournal.com]

I don't care for cauliflower either, but it is one of the foods I've encountered that smells worse than it tastes. I don't know how that works.

[gwalla.livejournal.com]

If you're interested in a meat sauce, my family has a great recipe. It comes from a Mrs. Ferrera, who was a neighbor of my mother's family when my mom was growing up. It's a staple at our house. (I will attempt to translate from my mom's handwriting)

1 lb. ground beef
3 cloves garlic
1 onion
1 stalk celery
1 carrot
parsley
sage, rosemary & thyme
2 cans tomato sauce OR 1 large can tomatoes & 1/2 can tomato paste
cinnamon
allspice
salt & pepper

All of the veggies, from the garlic to the parsley, are chopped.

Brown beef (in olive oil in original recipe). Add veggies & herbs and cook until soft. Add tomatoes, a dash each of cinnamon & allspice. Simmer 2 hrs. Correct seasoning*.

...going back to her mom's copy of the recipe, that should be 6 leaves fresh sage, 1-2 dozen fresh leaves rosemary (that's the little needles, not branches!), a handful of fresh parsley, and the leaves of 3 branches of fresh thyme. If the herbs are dry, you'd use less. My mom also points out that the dashes of cinnamon and allspice should be fairly light sprinklings or else the sauce will be too sweet.

*By which she means "taste it, and add salt & pepper if you think it needs it"

[piccolo-pirate.livejournal.com]

Mmmmm. Stealing this and adding it to the menu next week. :)

[wren-chan.livejournal.com]

Mwahahahahaa. You know the sauce is ready when (after hours of beating them off with the spoon) you let them try it on bread and the response is 'do we HAVE to wait for the pasta!?'

ETA: It was interesting considering the texture to try to figure out if it had cooked down enough, wondering why it hadn't thickened enough yet...

...and then remembering that I'd always done MEAT sauce marinara before, and that the 2lbs of meat I'd put into the pot were all in the form of meatballs, not thickening the Blood of Joy.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Hooray! I'm glad you liked it--and I'm glad you got the meatballs right despite my garbled instructions! (I suppose if their consistency isn't quite right you'd wind up with meat sauce, anyway.)

Also, I just realized that I never actually added you as a friend, which does explain why I haven't seen your posts on my friends page. :s Fixing now!

[wren-chan.livejournal.com]

Yaaay!

[wren-chan.livejournal.com]

Though there is the part where I. Um. hardly ever post. c.c;

Followup comment

[wren-chan.livejournal.com]

Sauce: ACES.
Meatballs: Holy crap, I made decent meatballs? My first try?

Noms: Endless.

[wren-chan.livejournal.com]

Making it again! Because it's not long 'til finals, and if I'm going to live hand-to-mouth I'd like to do it on decent nosh.

As it does make a bit of a mess, I texted my roomie first to be sure she was okay with it...

Quoth her, 'YES YES YES A MILLION TIMES YES.' XD

[baroncognito.livejournal.com]

It's so odd to see peppers sweating without onions.