Flights Of Fancy

[bloodyrosemccoy]

I have decided, after a conversation a while back with pandoras_closet, that if I were a fantasy critter, I’d be a hobbit. Really, it’s the obvious choice—I’m a short, curly-headed, fuzzy, middle-class homebody who enjoys her food and has been on a couple of trips totally out of her depth. And I’m flippin’ adorable.

However, as the Tolkien estate has trademarked hobbits, I’ve got a backup public domain plan.

I would be a harpy.

Yeah, I know, y’all were thinking I’d be a siren, right, since I like mermaids? Well, joke’s on you! Sirens are not fishladies; they are birdladies! In fact, they were the original birdladies.* However, while I like mermaids, there’s a reason I’m the Desert Mermaid—I love the ocean, but I don’t want to live in it. And sirens are neat, but I dunno, harpies have a certain … lack of style that’s right up my alley. I always think of sirens as willowy and sylphlike. Harpies are the hobbits of birdladies.

It’d be damn fun, though—opposable talons, ability to sleep standing up, and of course the ability to fly! The only problem would be getting bras on, and that is mitigated by a couple of detachable shoulder straps.

Because you see, I would not have the hygiene problem. I would be the world’s cleanest harpy. None of that explosion of pinfeathers or mites or messed up hair for me. I would definitely have a perch installed in the shower, and a few other perches in the bathroom as well, and I’d always wash my talons before handling food, and keep them trimmed, and I’d keep my teeth brushed,** and I’d definitely wash my hair. I would also keep visiting Ed the Hairbender—because if you want a crazy hairdresser, you can’t do better than Ed the Hairbender.***

It’s possible I’d have some trouble with all my hands-on hobbies, from fabricating thingy-things like jewelry and clothes to playing video games. But I understand birds are pretty good at standing on one foot, and I could probably get away with doing things with just one hand, as long as I kept my talons short and learned to sit on my tail when I needed two hands. So really, not much of a downside to being a harpy!

How about you? What sort of miffic critter would you be?


*Given the nerds who hang out around here, you all probably knew that already.

**I wouldn’t floss, though. Some habits never quite take.

***Trust me, I know. I have had three crazy hairdressers in the last few years, but only one of them believes me when I say I want my hair to be REAL SHORT. And, for that matter, only one is willing to paint his nails black and dress up as Elvira for Halloween.

Comments

[beetzart.livejournal.com]

Damn... I would have said I came from the good old lineage of the Brandybucks, buuuuuut I suppose I would be... Medusa.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Hee! I considered Medusa, too, but it just didn't seem quite right for me. Although it'd be a great excuse to avoid eye contact, she seems too ... composed for me. (Granted, I default to James C. Christensen's version of Medusa, so ...)

I did just read a terrific j-fic book about Medusa's family, though, and it made me love her all the more.

[ellenmillion.livejournal.com]

Hmm! Good question. Maybe a birch dryad. I really love my birch trees.

[pandoras-closet.livejournal.com]

I stand by my assertation that I would be either a minotaur or a badger.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

But a MYTHIC badger!

[pandoras-closet.livejournal.com]

And an epic one at that, I may add.

[beccastareyes]

I'd have to think about what I'd be. A lot of the real scholarly mythic creatures tend to be more enigmatic and serene, or tricksy and vengeful, while I'm kind of more chipper in temperament. I have an affinity for selkies in myth, but I'd probably end up being the opposite -- spending most of my time as a human, and only taking out the sealskin when I needed to relax. And it would kind of not go with my ability to set up home wherever I end up.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Ah, but selkies do have the ability to set up homes wherever they end up--land or water!

Your distinction between enigmatic and more realish mythic creatures is one of the reason's I'd be a harpy and not a siren. Harpies seem more human!

[beccastareyes]

True, but it would be awkward if I end up in Bolder or Tuscon. (Ithaca at least has a lake.)

Come to think about it, I also have the 'easily pushed around' trait that selkies seem to get saddled with -- the story about them is always some smuck steals their magic and uses it to blackmail them until they get freed/free themselves and get the hell out of Dodge. I'd like to see more stories about choice -- selkies can choose to be humans or seals in ways mermaids can't. (And even as seals, they aren't dolphins or manatees -- they need some shore.)

[lookingforwater.livejournal.com]

Dragon. I am always a dragon. A great huge fiery dragon with a Scottish temperament. I would live in a mountain laced with tunnels and caverns overlooking a lush and fertile dragon and have a standing arrangement with the villagers: namely, they tend a herd of delicious sheeps and cowses for my use, and in return I defend their land from all comers. Symbiosis!

None of them would actually be afraid of me but they'd pretend for the sake of my draconic dignity.

[lookingforwater.livejournal.com]

*lush and fertile valley, what the hell? I need to stop posting before I have coffee.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

*grin* I just yesterday finished writing a scene wherein a dragon wakes up from a long slumber to find out that the humans he knew so well were all gone, and these newcomers are a bunch of morons. Poor dragon.

[willowistari.livejournal.com]

I've been toying with the idea of drawing an owl gryphon for myself. So I pick that. :B

[gryphart.livejournal.com]

A sphinx. I quite like smart people, and there'd be plenty of tasty lunch from the other kind. Also, the thought of being sprawled in the sun all day quite appeals at the moment.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Ooh, I like your choice! But if I were a sphinx, it'd be a North American one--condor and puma parts, that'd be me.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Hee! Although as I understand it, modern nature spirits have a bit of trouble stopping urban sprawl ...

[dark-phoenix54.livejournal.com]

I think I'd be Persephone. It would fit with my goth sensibilities half the year, and I'd get to garden the other half. So long as I get something to eat besides those pomegranite seeds.

[acrossthelake.livejournal.com]

I only feel slightly egotistical saying I'd be some sort of fey, since at least three friends (and my lovely boyfriend, who I'm pretty sure would be a djinn) back me up on that. I figure some sort of Tolkien-esque elf or a fairy of the Seelie court, since I love mischief and property destruction slightly less than most Unseelie types.

Conversely, unlike you I dearly love the ocean and would love to live in it, or at least very near to it. So maybe I could compromise and be a nixie or a selkie or something. What do you think? I value your opinion in these matters.

PS: I think you'd be a great harpy *or* hobbit. Can hobbits be harpies? You could be both!

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

... I probably still have that little doodle I did of you as an elfy mage back in ye day.

It was my realization that you are very Elven that forced me to admit that not all elves are obnoxious pansies. Some are quite cool!

[tay421.livejournal.com]

It's funny, 'cause I've been kind of working on a concept my boyfriend's friend called "Hobbits in hoodies", where it's mythological humanoid races in modern day times, having evolved alongside humans. (I guess they'd have to be called Halflings, though, instead of Hobbits, if it was something published.) I've been trying to take the magic stuff out if it, though, so things like faeries or nymphs wouldn't exist, or would have to be given a pretty damn good scientific explanation for being there, even if the added science changes the race drastically.

That said, one of my best friends is a faun based from a glaistig, I have someone else who's a dwarf and one's an elf. _{(My boyfriend is a were-cat of some kind until we can think of a better excuse for a human to turn into an anthropomorphic cat, or for an anthropomorphic cat to exist without the world turning into Furry Central.)} My mom's a dwarf* and my dad's a troll/human hybrid, the troll half descended from an altered version of the Huldra. I've dubbed the hybrid race "Hulderkin". (Now if I could just figure out what my sister's dad could be, then I could include her in the list as well.)

Hah, all this because of the last Halloween costume I threw together for work last year. (Well, I guess I had a dream about it, too, several months before, but I didn't think much about it.)


Long story short, I guess I'd be a troll/human/dwarf hybrid. And now I'm curious to see a harpy working at the library.


*In real life, she's 4'11, which is just above the limit for being considered a dwarf medically. But she calls herself a dwarf anyway.

[madcap-shiny.livejournal.com]

I always wanted to be a dragon. Fairly typical, but they were the magic creature of my youth. <3

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Hey, just because other people like dragons doesn't mean that you can't like them, too!

[tomatocaco.livejournal.com]

Hee, I would also be a harpy. I'd look quite snazzy in a matching tophat and vest, I think. I decided on that when I drew my friends as mythical beasts for a friend's birthday present. Drew myself carrying a hooked cane, it would make a nice perch at a moment's notice. C:

I love exploring, and wings would enable that quite a bit. It would make a trip to the Grand Canyon or mountains much more exciting. Plus I could sit on powerlines and chill with the crows (until I forget about the electricity and touch something).

[die-monster.livejournal.com]

Can I pick a Hound of Tindalos, or is that the wrong kind of Mythos? :3 Fine, fine, I'll just be something generically canine...Can I be a poor, misunderstood Big Bad Wolf archetype? The sort who's not -really- all that bad, once you get to understand them and are no longer intimidated by their off-putting appearance?

[viizou.livejournal.com]

I think I'd be something that fidgets a lot and maybe bumps into things at times - something kind of annoying, but ultimately lovable. Hmmm... maybe a Brownie? The kind that takes care of the house... But I'd be a little more sarcastic than most of them (although this may be because I've just finished reading The Spiderwick Chronicles...).

Or, on days when I'm feeling more feminine, maybe a pixie? A spastic pixie... that sounds about right.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_wastrel/]

You know, I can't help but imagine that pixies were first come up with by medieval men who did just not realize that their wives were the ones who did all the housework, and therefore felt completely justified sitting around doing none of it at all. And I keep picturing their angry over-worked wives eventually snapping at them and saying "There ARE no pixies! It was ME!"