bloodyrosemccoy | Quotes of the Day

“I’d say he’s more like a half-wit wrapped in a hot dog bun inside a coloring book.”

and

“Mr. Bloom, as is his custom, leaps about, trying to overcome his incurable blandness, and is upstaged by special effects, musical cues, octopus tentacles and pieces of wood.”

Today’s quotes brought to you by Lewis Black doing voice acting in a Duck Dodgers cartoon and a New York Times review of Dead Man’s Chest by A.O. Scott, respectively. Guess which is which!

It’s nice to know, by the way, that I’m not the only person in the world who thinks ol’ Leggy is overrated. I admit that Orlando Bloom can do some really good clueless-and-slightly-suspicious expressions, but sometimes I wonder if they’re truly acted, or if that's just how he looks. His entire role in The Lord Of The Rings, as far as I could tell, was to sum up important plot points in five words or less,* and then pull some boneheaded stunt so we could see his pretty pretty ~~wig~~ hair streaming in the wind. I could go on, but it would just turn into my Elves Ain't Got No Style rant and then the geeks who read this will rise as one and slay me. So I’ll just say that I do think he’s bland, and leave it at that.

Poor Orly.

*Aragorn: We can use our armies to stage an attack on the Black Gate! This will keep Sauron’s Eye upon us, and give Frodo and Sam a chance to get to Mount Doom.

Legolas: A diversion!