The Ghost Of Christmas Spite

[bloodyrosemccoy]

Tree get!

It’s a nice tree—as Dad pointed out, it is the first year he has found a really STRAIGHT tree, rather than one that leans slightly to the left. No one will be surprised when I note that having a straight tree is part of The Rules for Dad.

The poor tree lot guys looked a little haggard—all except one veteran Tree Guy, possibly because his age exempted him from having to haul trees around and climb up to tie them onto cars. He just followed customers around chatting.

Thus, he was there when we found the tree we wanted. “I like it,” I said. “It’s straight!” Dad said. “Good size,” my sister said. “It will get needles all over the carpet,” said Mom, who hates Christmas.*

Tree Guy lit up like, well, you know. “I’ll give you a discount,” he said eagerly, “if you buy THIS SPECIFIC TREE.”

“That is very kind of you!” we said.

“No, it’s not,” he said. “You see, this family came in this morning to get a tree. They liked this one, but they told me they were going to check some other tree lots before deciding—and then they asked me to hold this tree for them in case they wanted it.”

There was a pause as we digested this.

“They were comparison shopping for a Christmas tree?” I finally said.

“I told them they’d have to take their chances,” he shrugged.

My family shared some calculating looks. This was an odd little ethical dilemma. We would have to consider—

“We’ll take it,” Dad said.

“Definitely!” the rest of us chimed in.

Tree Guy cackled gleefully as two of his minions prepped our tree, and I admit we cackled all the way home, too, because we are judgmental spiteful jerks. What can I say? Anyone who treats buying a Christmas tree that nitpickily needs a reality check. Christmas trees are weird enough already.

Either that or maybe a Foreign Tree Dealership made them a better offer, anyway, on a Luxury Tree with, I don’t know, pre-tinseled branches and self-cleaning needles, and they won’t give it a second thought. You never know!

The point is, we have our tree now. The living room smells like pine, the tree is ramrod-straight by god, and the cat thinks we are insane. Damn, I love this time of year.


*My brother didn’t vote because he’s in California, which made Mom and Dad slightly mopey.

Comments

[beccastareyes]

We knew the cats would eat tinsel, so it was never an issue.

You know, I can see pricing to see who is selling trees for what price, but... yeah. Asking to hold one is a bit silly.

(Also, 'does it fit in the house?')

[westrider.livejournal.com]

(Also, 'does it fit in the house?')

I should see if there are any surviving pictures of the time we misjudged that one. Even after we trimmed the top, it looked like the thing continued up to the second floor ;)

[allicapri.livejournal.com]

Please tell me you then took the top and set it up in the same spot on the second floor. That would make me laugh for days!

[westrider.livejournal.com]

I wanted to, but was overruled :(

[shadesofmauve]

I'm surprised! I would have thought your mum would be right on board with that. :)

[westrider.livejournal.com]

Past that point, it went down to basically just one branch, so it wouldn't actually have been all that cool. It was kind of a weird looking tree when it was intact.

[daiq.livejournal.com]

Searching frantically for the "like" button

[dark-phoenix54.livejournal.com]

Dude, that's what chain saws are for. Gasoline powered ones. In the house.

Yeah.

Seriously. George (FIL) never let a silly thing like common sense get in his way.

[westrider.livejournal.com]

Nah, my dad is more of a muscle-powered, axe and handsaw sort of guy. He considers chainsaws to be lacking in manliness because you're not actually doing the work yourself ;)

[mel-redcap.livejournal.com]

My family's tree traditions include a requirement that the tree must be taller than will fit properly in the house. Really. It's not right unless it's hitting the ceiling and has the top foot or so bent sideways. Also, we like it top-heavy enough that it has to be tied into a corner of the room with guy ropes. XD (I'm not kidding. Both these criteria started out as "oops, we misjudged this tree but we like it anyway" and have become necessities.)

Our cats have never eaten tinsel (thank goodness!), but we did lose an entire set of old-fashioned glass baubles to one cat... two or three a year over many years. They rolled better than the plastic ones and made fun tinkly noises when he batted them against the walls, so every year he knocked off the ones on the lower branches and played them to death. And there were always some on the lower branches because Mum has a 'thing' about spacing different types of ornament out evenly, so "keep them all high enough to be out of paw reach" was never considered as an option... :P :)

[westrider.livejournal.com]

At my Mom's last house, we actually had hooks permanently installed in the corner where we always put the tree so as to make it easier to to tie it in. Even if the tree was relatively well balanced, with as many cats around as we always have, it was necessary.

[diatryma.livejournal.com]

This is why it was great to grow up in a house with a two-story peaked ceiling in the great room. The trees that had overgrown, the ones that the tree farmer let us have for cheap because no one else would buy them, looked amazing.

[beccastareyes]

Nice. Decorating them would be a pain, but you could never have too many ornaments.