Blood And Gore

[bloodyrosemccoy]

You know that point in the horror movie at the end, right after the Great Big Scary Bit, when the main character figures she’s escaped from and/or defeated the monster/chainsaw-wielding madman and relaxes and lets her guard down and sits down and breathes a sigh of relief and HOLY SHIT UNEXPECTED LAST-MINUTE JUMP-OUT IS UNEXPECTED and she has to suddenly lurch back into Survival Mode and try to kill it with a forklift* or something?

Yeah, that’s how my period was this week.

Normally I have a pretty neutral relationship with my reproductive organs and their various antics—blah blah, bleed bleed, whatever—but when you're wearing your new snowy white tae kwon do uniform and find yourself, so to speak, up Blood Creek without a paddle, there is a moment of serious alarm.

At least the mad dash to the bathroom for the old paper towel trick got me out of a round of push-ups. Kicks I can do, but fuck push-ups.


*¡Olé!

Comments

[daiq.livejournal.com]

My female organs have recently (well the past 12 months) decided to do this every single month! Monday through Friday as per usual, and then a second kick in for a couple of hours on Sunday.

I am so over it!

[snarkingapple.livejournal.com]

Back when I had periods I was the suspicious type that, like a Cold War Spy, Refused to Believe It Was Over. I was usually right.

Bless the old paper towel trick. Gah.

Why is it always when you're in gi or equivalent, too? It's uncanny.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

I know, right?

I have gotten too complacent on Da Pill--back before that was around, though, I was the world's most suspicious bleeder.

[westrider.livejournal.com]

I can't speak on the topic of periods with any authority, but seriously, fuck pushups.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

I know, right?

[beetzart.livejournal.com]

Ah yes, the old paper towel trick.

I used to try and do something "creative" with the thought of my periods to help me get through the agony. I would imagine that the cramps were actually these little worker people who picked and smashed all the nasty uterus bits and flushed them out like it was some kind of a job. I used to create little lives for the different workers as I endured agony. ha ha ha. This last week, the workers were slacking and took long lunch breaks but then suddenly rush through their work with ten times the force. Those little bastards.

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

Gah, I commiserate. When menstruation attacks!

[10cents.livejournal.com]

*snort* That last sentence I started to read as "kids I can do", and I was thinking to myself, seriously, you'd rather take care of children than do a few push-ups? What does that really even have to DO with anything, I mean, I know, periods, but, uh, what? Then I reread it, and smacked myself on the forehead. Okay, that makes MUCH more sense.

I'd actually still rather do push-ups than kicks, myself (something about the limbs flailing around that makes me feel less bad-ass than building upper body strength does), but push-ups do suck mightily.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

My upper body never feels badass, but I have powerful legs, so it's vice versa for me.

[gwalla.livejournal.com]

MQ'd!

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Hooray! It's my ultimate goal in life, after all!

[madcap-shiny.livejournal.com]

This has happened to me so often. Less so lately, for which I am OVERJOYED, but still. I shudder at the memories.

[stormteller.livejournal.com]

More and more I get the impression that there's a psychological component to this process.

We need some guys in white coats studying the effectiveness of various mental tricks.

[utterlystrange.livejournal.com]

Oh god, I know how you feel.

That's why I have tampons stashed EVERYWHERE.

[queenlyzard.livejournal.com]

As always, you manage to make absolutely everything amusing. Kudos.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_wastrel/]

Yeah, I'll take kicks over push-ups any day. Also, I really can't envy your gender that. The very fact that you'd have to be prepared to deal with stuff like that has to mean you're made of sterner stuff than I.