Still Here

[bloodyrosemccoy]

Asante sana and thanks, everyone, for your comments. It helped a lot to know that y’all think I’m not a failure, and it really helped to know that the suckage is a general experience. It giveth me hope.

The nice thing about my plunges into the depths of utter despair is they it never last long. I’m doing okay now. Still some residual bummage, but the kind I can live with. Probably it was partly my Fukitol tapering, partly it’s just this time of life, partly it was hurt feelings from parents. I’ll get over it. Plus, if I were always relentlessly cheerful, you’d probably get worried about me anyway at some point.

Anyway, I’ll respond to those comments individually after work, but I wanted you to know they were very much appreciated. Thanks, guys.

Comments

[viizou.livejournal.com]

I only just read your previous post and this one. Honestly, you're amongst the last people I know (online and IRL) whom I would consider a failure. As several people commented, finding a job is hard, and I would add that finding a good job is harder, and finding a career you enjoy is an even bigger challenge. At least you have an idea of what you'd like to do, which is more than a lot of people can say.

I can't comment on the Fukitol withdrawal, but I can confirm the "it's this time of life" theory. I go through something similar after every diploma. I can't imagine what it'll be like after my PhD, because then I won't be able to find comfort in going back to school. So I'd say you're ahead of me on this aspect: you're dealing with real life, in your own way, and it's normal to feel doubt and frustration. But you'll get through it - you sound better already.