Utahn Antipride

[bloodyrosemccoy]

You’ve all presumably heard of the spread of Utardation to Texas. It’s getting more entertaining, too; the ensuing court cases are starting to sound like an insane domino effect of objections.

I used to wonder why people made lawyer jokes.

Also, the Salt Lake Tribune is having an absolute festival of headlines here, even more than the national news. The only one I found remotely interesting was the one on how some polygamists seem to fit in just fine. It’s a portrait of other polygamists in this country, but I found some gaps in the report just from being an anthropologist and knowing just a few polyamorous individuals—I’d be interested to see what someone more in tune with it had to say. (You get the impression from the article that all polygamists, at least around here in this Civilized Country, are a. Mormon and b. polygynous.) I have a very different image of polygamy and polyamory from either that article or the reports of the crazy FLDS—or, more accurately, I have a broader image. I’m not sure how most people might view it. It’s good to get a reminder sometimes. 

Comments

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Well, let's see ...

I have studied anthropology enough to know that monogamy is certainly not the norm everywhere. I see places with multiple wives, and a few with multiple husbands. These systems vary greatly in their treatment of gender roles and circumstances of marriage, so the only cohesive model you get from them is that saying there's only one correct, traditional type of marriage is preposterous.

I've also seen also the unofficial kind, the kind that isn't pointed out with pomp and ceremony, and in those I've also seen that it's not always "one wife, many husbands" or vice versa; it's a small cluster of people who happen to get along pretty well. Polyamory is complex and not as rare as people would think. It involves the normal relationship issues, which can be complicated simply by the number of people involved. It's not limited to one sort of person (like, say, Mormons) in any sense.

I think people find it so difficult to accept for a few reasons. First of all, it breaks what they PERCEIVE to be tradition, just like homosexuality and other "deviations" do. Also like homosexuality, polyamory has something to do with SEX, and so there is the possibility that we can talk about SEXY SCANDAL and ignore the relationship part. I think that'd be the case even if there weren't the FLDS around ...

But we DO have the FLDS around, and that's most people's model of polygamy: they see creepy, lecherous old men marrying and then raping their 14-year-old nieces, beating their children, etc., and use that as the base for why polygamy is bad. It's the same as pointing to all the statistics for domestic abuse as a check against monogamy, but people don't see that.

And after all that I've seen, here's what I think: I think that polyamory is as viable as any other relationship. It's what some creeps DO with it that we have to watch out for.