And I Thought Mine Were Bad

And now, for some reason, we're watching Alien: Resurrection.

RIPLEY 7: K ... k ... ill ... me ...

RIPLEY 8: *FLAMES ON THE SIDE OF EVERYONE'S FACE*

RON PERLMAN: Must be a chick thing.

MY SISTER: Great line. Seriously, Ron? What, like she's on the rag?

*pause*

ME: Shit, that's a frightening thought.

MY SISTER: Oh, JESUS, you're RIGHT.

ME: THERE GOES ANOTHER PAIR OF PANTS

MY SISTER: GAME OVER, MAN

ME: THE AGONY

MY SISTER: I DISSOLVED ANOTHER TAMPON

ME: THE PLUMBING IS ON FIRE

MY SISTER: GIMME THAT FLAMETHROWER SO THAT I MAY DO MYSELF IN

ME: K ... ILL ... ME ...

MY SISTER: ... yeah, that would be a legitimate reason to call it 'the curse.'

ME: I am not even going to think about what this means for the womb-having Alien Queen Brad Dourif was blathering on about.

MY SISTER: Yeah, massive hull breach. Leave them in space for a while, and the whole alien problem pretty much solves itself.

Trigger Warning: Republicans

I believe the phrase "Blitzkrieg of Bullshit" sums up my fatigue with politics over the last few years. I've been advancing my own political theory that the immensely stupid statements that seem to be streaming from Tea Partiers are part of a strategy designed to leave sane people so completely speechless at their ignorance and nastiness that they have no idea how to respond, allowing the crazies to step in and TAKE OVER THE TRI-STATE AREA!!! GOVERNMENT!!!*

Come on, guys. It's really hard to talk to you like grownups when I'm still trying to figure out if I'm on Team Evil or Team Stupid when it comes to figuring out your motives. Give me another option.


*Which would make it a far more coherent plan than Paul Ryan's Secret Plan to fix the deficit. He seems to have the same gift for strategy as the Underpants Gnomes.