The Life Experience ~ Winter '11

What I Learned Since The Winter Solstice:

• Clarence “Ducky” Nash not only voiced Donald Duck in English; he also did the voice on all the dubbed shorts Disney made so that the voice would remain consistently unintelligible across all languages.
• Before she became a TV cook show hostess, Julia Child INVENTED SHARK REPELLENT.
• Shakira sings very differently in English than she does in Spanish—to an amazing degree. In English, she sounds like so many other Madonna clones; in Spanish she’s got that rich and confident voice. I’d never listened to one of her songs’ English and Spanish versions back-to-back before, but it’s amazing how different it is.
• Drawing something that looks like text without being legible is called “Greeking”—the written equivalent of “rhubarb.”
• Generally speaking, the human brain can only really count up to 4 at a glance. Numbers beyond that slow us down.
• Cookie Monster’s name in Hindu Hindi is Biscuit Badsha.
• BONUS EDIT WITH NEW LEARNED THING: Hindi is the language; Hindu is the religion.  I never was really sure of the difference in the terms.  Thanks, sriti !
• It’s incredibly convenient to have a portable musical instrument to carry around and practice when you’ve got a few minutes, instead of having something too huge to lug around.
• There is an explanation for my complete inability to ever adhere to the crazy raw food diet so many of our library patrons seem to be interested in starting up: Oral Allergy Syndrome. (I’m sure those raw food books would assure me that I wouldn’t have this syndrome if I just ate enough raw food to detox, but fuck ’em.)
• You can get hives ON YOUR GOD DAMN EYEBALL.
• There are a few drawbacks to nuclear power. [/understatement]
• Mushrooms grow fast.
• Calendars generally follow three main types: lunar, solar, and lunisolar.  A great deal of work goes into keeping calendars on track, especially the lunisolar ones.  Some calendars also have a really complex way to make the weekdays dependent on the date and even more complex astrological positions.
• The term for the shaved head, or part of the head, of a monk is tonsure.
• It is possible for me to find stars in the sky if I concentrate!
• Also, Betelgeuse really does look orange.
• The effectiveness of toilet paper follows a bell curve along its price range. Too cheap and it’s painful and thin; too expensive and it’s so pumped with lotions, layers, and moisturizers that it forgets its function as, well, toilet paper, and winds up just waving at your butt as it goes by.
• There are Geno fans on the internet. I should have known.
• Pizza sauce is a lot simpler than I thought, but crust is still a bit tough to work out.

Oh, I Could Throw You In The Lake Or Feed You Poison Birthday Cake ...

You know it’s been a bad day at the Liberry when the librarians are muttering darkly about the benefits of speutering patrons.

Never Even Crossed My Mind

In other news, I was cruisin’ the intersocks today and discovered that KEL/JOREN SHIPPING EXISTS OH GOD WHY.

I suppose I should have known. To be honest, though, even after years listening to teenage girls sigh over Draco Malfoy, Edward Cullen, Raistlin Majere,* etc., it never would have occurred to me. Possibly this is because I require a nano-scintilla of subtext for a hero/douchebag pairing, and there is none here. As far as I can tell, Joren’s main qualification for fancrushery is that he looks like a manga prettyboy. THIS IS NOT ENOUGH.

Fortunately, then I found some great art of Numair, Daine, Kel, and even Kylaia al Jmaa**, as well as the funniest Lioness Rampant cover ever,*** and everything was okay again.


*Yes, unlike the other two there I love Raistlin as a character, but he is not exactly a Romantical Lead.

**Speaking of fancrushes.

***"She's conquered evil--but can she conquer her deepest desires?" OH MAN PRICELESS.