Fluff And Stuff

[bloodyrosemccoy]

I just found out that I’m a bigot.

 

It would be very easy for me to become a doll collector.*  While I was wandering about seeking a nice big mermaid doll to come hang out with the rest of us, I found a pretty nifty collector’s site that gives you a list of all sorts of 18-inch dolls that you can check out. Some of them are creepy as all hell, but some of them are very pretty, and I went into I Want That mode while looking at them all.

 

But some of the prettiest ones, ones that I would otherwise want (although their dresses are a little … overkill), have the most nauseating background possible. I just … words cannot do justice to the vitriol that rises within me as I look at this site. The dolls are beautiful, quality dolls, but I don’t think I could bring myself to give money to these people.

The reason for this is clear-cut enough: faith like that creeps me the hell out, and self-righteous faith annoys me into the bargain. The dolls are based on 19^th Century books written to be edifying to girls, rather like Louisa May Alcott’s—full of fluff and moralizing, with nothing at all that might be remotely offensive to anybody, ever—which in the Victorian era was damn near impossible.  They’re sickening. I couldn’t support something like that.

 

When I realized this, though, I started wondering if I was elitist. Am I such a bigot that I won’t allow a Christian doll in the house?  Then I remembered that I’ve got a couple already, but they’re not warm fuzzy fundie holier-than-thou ones. I suppose that’s good for something.

 

Meanwhile, though, I was realizing that I’m a bigot in other ways—I am embarrassed, to some extent, when I go on about my dolls. As an unrepentant Trekkie, conlanger, reader of Star Wars novels, Lord of the Rings fan, and blogger—in short, a geek—it seems odd that I would have any shred of dignity left to worry about. So what embarrasses me?

 

Possibly part of it is that a lot of these sites are the epitome of what makes doll-lovers like myself look bad: overdone, treacly GURLINESS, with lots of pastels and warm fuzzies. I’d say it’s a telling part of my identity that it is more difficult for me to admit that I’m a doll lover than it is for me to admit that I still have a crush on Hank McCoy from X-Men, and it has to do with how it’s associated.  You can be a geek and still be clever and witty and educated and intelligent, and acceptably weird, but nobody associates that with someone who collects dolls.

 

Maybe it’s because it’s too feminine.** Geekiness is acceptable because it started out being a masculine thing (note that the female realm of fanfiction is also marginalized) that girls had to force their way into, but dolls started out being girly, and boys don’t want in on it (or if they do, they won’t admit it). Therefore, it is not given the same recognition, and has a label for being somehow wrong. It’s the same principle as cross-dressing, I think. Nobody is put out when I cross-dress: today I’m wearing jeans and a bright pink aloha shirt, which is technically cross-dressing. That is now acceptable, but when a guy wears a skirt, people think he’s got a pathology.

 

It has to do with power and value. Women have made many strides into power and value, but they’re doing it by moving into positions of power and value as were already defined before feminism—that is, they’re moving into men’s positions.  Men, on the other hand, aren’t responding by accepting feminine positions, because those aren’t seen as powerful or valuable. And while I think it’s good that women are taking on those positions of gender, I also say that we must point out that things we default to ‘girly’ have value. So while I admit that the Life Of Faith concept makes me want to go watch The Silence of the Lambs on a loop, I also would like to say to all those of you out there who marginalize girly activities:

I love dolls.  Go me!

 

 

*This is relevant, I swear.

 

**You can always tell when I’m taking some sort of class in gender studies. Watch me channel Margaret Mead here!

Comments

[kittikattie.livejournal.com]

She is a Gotz doll, made by the same people who make AG, and released in limited numbers for a NY market. She is the girl that grows up to be Elizabeth Cady Stanton.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

I remembered that's who she was from from when she arrived, but I couldn't remember if you'd mentioned where she was from. Cool!