Fluff And Stuff

[bloodyrosemccoy]

I just found out that I’m a bigot.

 

It would be very easy for me to become a doll collector.*  While I was wandering about seeking a nice big mermaid doll to come hang out with the rest of us, I found a pretty nifty collector’s site that gives you a list of all sorts of 18-inch dolls that you can check out. Some of them are creepy as all hell, but some of them are very pretty, and I went into I Want That mode while looking at them all.

 

But some of the prettiest ones, ones that I would otherwise want (although their dresses are a little … overkill), have the most nauseating background possible. I just … words cannot do justice to the vitriol that rises within me as I look at this site. The dolls are beautiful, quality dolls, but I don’t think I could bring myself to give money to these people.

The reason for this is clear-cut enough: faith like that creeps me the hell out, and self-righteous faith annoys me into the bargain. The dolls are based on 19^th Century books written to be edifying to girls, rather like Louisa May Alcott’s—full of fluff and moralizing, with nothing at all that might be remotely offensive to anybody, ever—which in the Victorian era was damn near impossible.  They’re sickening. I couldn’t support something like that.

 

When I realized this, though, I started wondering if I was elitist. Am I such a bigot that I won’t allow a Christian doll in the house?  Then I remembered that I’ve got a couple already, but they’re not warm fuzzy fundie holier-than-thou ones. I suppose that’s good for something.

 

Meanwhile, though, I was realizing that I’m a bigot in other ways—I am embarrassed, to some extent, when I go on about my dolls. As an unrepentant Trekkie, conlanger, reader of Star Wars novels, Lord of the Rings fan, and blogger—in short, a geek—it seems odd that I would have any shred of dignity left to worry about. So what embarrasses me?

 

Possibly part of it is that a lot of these sites are the epitome of what makes doll-lovers like myself look bad: overdone, treacly GURLINESS, with lots of pastels and warm fuzzies. I’d say it’s a telling part of my identity that it is more difficult for me to admit that I’m a doll lover than it is for me to admit that I still have a crush on Hank McCoy from X-Men, and it has to do with how it’s associated.  You can be a geek and still be clever and witty and educated and intelligent, and acceptably weird, but nobody associates that with someone who collects dolls.

 

Maybe it’s because it’s too feminine.** Geekiness is acceptable because it started out being a masculine thing (note that the female realm of fanfiction is also marginalized) that girls had to force their way into, but dolls started out being girly, and boys don’t want in on it (or if they do, they won’t admit it). Therefore, it is not given the same recognition, and has a label for being somehow wrong. It’s the same principle as cross-dressing, I think. Nobody is put out when I cross-dress: today I’m wearing jeans and a bright pink aloha shirt, which is technically cross-dressing. That is now acceptable, but when a guy wears a skirt, people think he’s got a pathology.

 

It has to do with power and value. Women have made many strides into power and value, but they’re doing it by moving into positions of power and value as were already defined before feminism—that is, they’re moving into men’s positions.  Men, on the other hand, aren’t responding by accepting feminine positions, because those aren’t seen as powerful or valuable. And while I think it’s good that women are taking on those positions of gender, I also say that we must point out that things we default to ‘girly’ have value. So while I admit that the Life Of Faith concept makes me want to go watch The Silence of the Lambs on a loop, I also would like to say to all those of you out there who marginalize girly activities:

I love dolls.  Go me!

 

 

*This is relevant, I swear.

 

**You can always tell when I’m taking some sort of class in gender studies. Watch me channel Margaret Mead here!

Comments

[chibicharibdys.livejournal.com]

Dang! I marginalize girly activities all the time! Especially fanifiction writing.

But I also collect dolls. They just happen to be shaped like robots.

Secretly this is partially because I dislike having people-looking objects with glass or even painted eyes staring at me all the time. It gives me the creeps

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

I think that's actually quite a common phobia, or at least creep-out. My brother is like that to an extreme, and even I find many dolls creepy. It really depends on the face sculpture and eyes for me--if they look like they've actually got some intelligence, they're all right, but if they're vapid and vacant looking, they freak me out. They look like they're ripe for possession by evil spirits who will make the dolls eat me or something.

[chibicharibdys.livejournal.com]

Exactly! Portraits are the same way, really. If it looks like someone who would be a great conversationalist, then it is probably more true-to-life, a more interesting piece of art, and generally not creepy.

[chibicharibdys.livejournal.com]

Also, I must add that the typography on that site is simply awful.

Because they must emphasize these breathtaking yet morally sound grand adventures!

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

For the slower kids out there ...

[kittikattie.livejournal.com]

Ah, I see you've met the LoF dolls. The books are absolute garbage. They're based onthis obnoxious ass series about a girl who lived in the antebellum south and is always suffering for Jesus.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

So I gathered from the catalog PDF. Popular books for girls in that era were pretty nauseating all around. I also like how often the dolls are posed gazing beatifically upward at ... I don't know, I keep envisioning God from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

But the dolls--well, Elsie, at least--are very pretty--hence my dilemma.

Speaking of dolls, I've been meaning to ask where Beth Cady is from. She looks so familiar, but I can't remember exactly why ...

[kittikattie.livejournal.com]

She is a Gotz doll, made by the same people who make AG, and released in limited numbers for a NY market. She is the girl that grows up to be Elizabeth Cady Stanton.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

I remembered that's who she was from from when she arrived, but I couldn't remember if you'd mentioned where she was from. Cool!

[viizou.livejournal.com]

For some reason, your post made me google "self-hating Jew". I dunno, I saw a link (albeit very tenuous) between this concept and that of "self-hating women".

Now, I'm not saying you (or I, for that matter) are self-hating women. But I am acknowledging that sometimes, the concept of "being a girl" (which I intuitively think is different from that of "being a woman") can be complex to deal with nowadays.

When I was little, I used to think of males as being "the norm" and women as being "other". In other words, flat-chested with short hair was normal, and long hair with breasts was different (I was too young to attach importance to the other differences - I was aware of them but, if it was hidden by clothes, it wasn't important to me). And even today, although I'm very much in touch with my femininity, I find I'm still ambivalent about a lot of things, and tend to aspire to "male" stereotypes.

For example, if I walk past a group of the Montreal equivalent of Valley Girls (trust me, they exist), I will roll my eyes and be filled with misogynistic feelings. On the other hand, when an outspoken, very confident girl enters my predominantly male circle of friends, my first instinct will be jealousy - even though, in principle, I admire strong women. I pride myself on having "male" hobbies, like video games and comics - yet I don't want to be seen as a tomboy.

And so, I find I'm going through life doing this weird balancing act. I cut my hair very short years ago - and then I started wearing skirts all the time. These days, I've gone back to wearing jeans and more androgynous clothing - but I've been growing my hair out. And it seems like, every day, I switch between a cheerful, sweet, "girly" persona, and a more authoritative "boyish" persona.

I'm not saying this is a new thing, or even a bad thing. I've always been a fan of hybridity. But the fact that I'm aware of it means the stigma against girliness is still very much present.

Sorry if this is rambly, it's very late and I can't sleep.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

It's a little like self-hating women, I suppose. And it's interesting that you'd have seen boys as the norm, because when I was small I always thought that girls were the default, and that boys were the deviation--I believe because the male genitalia seem like an add-on.

I do the balancing act, too. Usually I just do whatever I like either way, but with a few really girly things like this it can get a little rocky. I try to integrate both personae ("girly" and "boyish"), but you're right, the fact that they're separated says a great deal.

[cjtremlett.livejournal.com]

A friend of mine has the theory that you can have one "male" characteristic in your appearance and still be feminine, but if you have two, you're going to be pegged as a dyke. She had had her hair long for years, got it cut short for Locks of Love, and wore makeup to make up for the short spikey haircut (which looks great on her!). When she recognized that, she went back to the normal lack of makeup, but it was a funny realization.

[gwalla.livejournal.com]

the male genitalia seem like an add-on.

Great, now I've got that King Missile song "Detachable Penis" stuck in my head.

[chibicharibdys.livejournal.com]

Huh. That's interesting, because I always thought of myself as just 'me' and tend not to lump whatever I do into gender categories, it's just what I wear or listen to or play whatever. Although I was a bit annoyed when my male friends said "we never really thought of you as a girl-- you're just like one of the guys!" -- and when people are surprised that I like wearing dresses and makeup.


But I always had traditionally male asperations--

When I read books and stuff, I wanted to be the knight (or the dragon, or especially the engineer), not the princess -- even if she was a kickass princess. I want the armor and the sword, but in a pinch, the claws and fire-breath would do.

[pixel39.livejournal.com]

Now I'm going to have to go find the books I have from my non-sexist writing class when I get home--I STR there was one that you'd probably find interesting.

Anyway.

Even my husband, who is a fairly liberal egalitarian type, accuses me of being girly (and under the evil influence of the Wicked Stepdaughter, who is rather more girly than I usually am) when I do things like put on nail polish. I *think* it has to do with activities that although feminine are not girly per se, because I don't garner nearly as many accusations of girliness when I buy boots.