The Desert Mermaid

Lucy was looking a little under the weather the last few days--puffed up, wheezing, and unusually quiet, so today I took her to the vet. She perked up a bit on the car ride over, though, and chatted a little with me. The vet's office still does no contact, so I dropped her off at the door with the receptionist with a "Bye, Lucy."

I must admit that, as I drove away, I had the thought of "What if ..." but I dismissed it. That was until I was halfway home, when I got a frantic call from the vet.

It seems that Lucy collapsed while they were trying to move her to an incubator, and they decided it was not worth it to resuscitate,* so I was welcome to come back and pick up the body. She looked a little comical with her beak open and her tongue sticking out, but mostly it was just painful to see my little birb without any spark of life.

I took her home with me in a stupid little hatbox provided by the vet, and Mom and Dad helped me to bury her under her Japanese maple tree (not in the stupid little hatbox).

I'll miss her chatter from the corner where her cage was: her appreciative commentary on her food, her kibitzing about where I was putting hte dishes when I emptied the dishwasher, her alarm chatter when she saw a Threat in the sky, and her joyous squawks when I pulled into the driveway and slammed the car door. I don't have a fancy box for her ashes, but if I did her epitaph would be the neighbor kid's summation of her: "That bird is TOO LOUD."

RIP, Lucy. You were TOO LOUD, and I'll miss you.


French fries were a Sometimes Food.


*What would that look like, anyway? I'm picturing a medical drama with tiny defibrillators on either side of the keelbone: "CLEAR!" *BLAM* *feathers flying everywhere* "DO IT AGAIN!" "DOCTOR, SHE'S GONE!" "NO! CLEAR--" *BLAM* "Doctor! Call it!" "*sigh* Time of death, 2:45." *dramatic music*

Dang, my hands are getting a bit ripped up lately. It's a sign of a lot of entertaining myself, though.

Causes of hand-rip-uppery:

-CAUSE #1: This here bird. Lucy's friendly and cheerful and loves hanging out with me, but sometimes she does take bites out of my fingers. I've managed to convince her not to do it as much, but she still does in certain situations.

The annoying thing is that the best way to break them of the habit is to not snatch your fingers away, because that's what the bird wants. Instead you're supposed to hold your finger there or even push into it, which will throw the bird off-balance both physically and mentally. And that takes some damn willpower when that hooked bill is pinching with nutcracking force.

But we're having a good time other than that. I have also taught her not to be afraid of cardboard paper towel rolls because they contain treats. And she had a nice bath in a dish last weekend, but since then she's been less interested in the bath dish but keeps bathing in her water dish. So she's keeping clean.

She likes NPR. She will be an erudite bird.


-CAUSE #2: Been cooking a lot. I'm eating quite well (Lucy likes lasagna, too), and most of the dishes I've made are pretty good. However, we will not speak of the attempt to make corn dogs ever again. Turns out hot oil is hot.


-CAUSE #3: Kittens who still don't know how to retract their claws. I probably won't even feel completely at ease having a bird and I'm going to bring a pair of tiny kitties into my life. I am an idiot.

But we did have a nice day where the neighbors took the kittens out so they could romp on the lawn. Which was rather hilarious when our party attracted a whole bunch of neighbor kids. The poor kittens had started out exploring the concept of grass, but ended up exploring the concept of getting constantly picked up and juggled by six kids aged 4-11.


-CAUSE #4: Trimming grapevines. We shoulda done this months ago, but there was this whole MOVING thing going on. So I had to do it myself, though one of Dad's former patients, who works at a vineyard, came to show me how. (He got a pretty alarmed look on his face when he saw the 45-degree angle at which the vines are set up. Life on a mountainside has its disadvantages. But I enjoyed the trimming--it's kind of meditative.

Also, it turns out I am a wizard. I trimmed half of them, and then later that day it suddenly got cold and snowed. A few days later, it was springy again! So I trimmed the rest, and then THREE FUCKING FEET of snow promptly crashed into my house.

So apparently I have the power to summon snowstorms by trimming grapevines. Sure, it's very specific, but still. I AM ELSA. BOW DOWN BEFORE ME!


-CAUSE #5: Eczema.

No, seriously, that's it. Eczema is a plague upon me. Such is my life.


In conclusion, yes, I am having a good time, except for the eczema. All I have to do is buy some Band-Aids.