Important Brain Notes

[bloodyrosemccoy]

I'm sure you're all fascinated by what's going on in my brain. I know I am! And, in fact, interesting things have been going on in my brain recently.

Here's the thing: not too long ago, Dad made the suggestion to me that perhaps my depression was actually bipolar II disorder. I talked to my doctor, and he agrees it's possible, for a couple of compelling reasons.

First off, family history. As we look through the family, we find a pattern of lots of the following kinds of people:

1. People with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder
2. People with a diagnosis of something else that, in retrospect, was probably bipolar disorder wearing a fake mustache and glasses
3. Generally strange people.

Those are all compelling ones--bipolar was often misdiagnosed as other things in the past, and sometimes people don't get a diagnosis but probably had something going on.

So yeah, the family history suggests that bipolar II is probably the uniting factor. But another rather compelling factor in this conclusion is that, y'know, I've had hypomanic episodes.

You guys may have noticed. Every year, sometime around September - December, I will have a week or so where I have ALL THE IDEAS, to the point where I'm paralyzed by them in the same way you'd be paralyzed by a fire hose blasting at you. The hypomania is rather low-key--my big symptoms are what's innocuously named "flight of ideas" and an need to blather on about whatever has snagged my obsessive attention for the episode. I don't engage in shopping sprees, drag racing, wild orgies, or any of that; I just stare at the wall a lot because SO MANY THINGS ARE CRASHING AROUND IN MY HEAD, or annoy the hell out of whoever is within earshot with chatter about my obsessions. (I do, however, emerge from it with some graphomania. And for the record YES, I AM WRITING THAT LAST BIT OF SCATTERSTONE; I HAVE JUST LOST MOMENTUM.) It's not destructive so far, but it's certainly obnoxious.

So! How do I feel about this revelation?

Honestly? I'm thrilled. I like making discoveries. I feel like I've gotten a better explanation for who I am. And now we can try an auxiliary Fukitol as a mood stabilizer. I know, most people aren't pleased to discover they're mentally ill, but hell, I already knew THAT. Now it feels good to narrow down just what that illness is.

So! Anybody out there got bipolar II? Any advice for me? Comments? I warn you, I'm embarking on an exciting new medication adventure, so I might sound a little crazy for a bit, but hopefully this'll even me out more. Wish me luck!

Comments

[badgermirlacca.livejournal.com]

I've never heard of "bipolar II"--what is it? how is it different from garden-variety bipolar disorder?

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

It's the type of bipolar where you don't go full-blown manic, but hypomanic--that is, the "ups" are less crazy and less frequent, and the depression takes center stage.

[badgermirlacca.livejournal.com]

Ah. Thank you.

[dinogrrl.livejournal.com]

I have a family member with bipolar disorder, honestly can't remember which one but I'm thinking it was bipolar II, and yeah...it was misdiagnosed for DECADES, thanks to the other half-dozen health issues family member has going on concurrently. Getting a good balance of medication AND therapy is so important. Family member hasn't achieved it yet, so she still has manic episodes regularly and ends up doing really self-destructive things and seems to have no idea why. Sooo I guess what I'm saying is to not stop until you've gotten it under control because it can be a really nasty disorder if it gets a chance.

I kinda suspect my mom is a bipolar too, since she has episodes similar to what you're describing (ALL THE IDEAS. ALL THE BIG CRAZY IDEAS. DO THEM NOW), luckily she burns herself out very quickly and she's got enough logic around most of the time to reign things in >>.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm gonna keep calibrating. My big question is just how much the hypomania contributes to my creativity. I'll have a week or so of IDEAS EVERYWHERE OH GOD and that'll last me a good year or two. Otherwise it's slow going--but far less obnoxious. ;)

[ellixis.livejournal.com]

I feel you! Having a diagnosis means you know what's up and you can put together a toolbox to deal with it! Good luck getting your brainweasels settled and muzzled some.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

The last few times the hypomania seems to have been defined by giant robots. Brainsformers?

[ellixis.livejournal.com]

Brainstorm and roll out!

[broken-moons.livejournal.com]

I know someone with bipolar II, and yes, having a diagnosis makes all the difference. Bipolar II is easy to misdiagnose, I think - the depressions are the most noticeable, but they come and go, and yet the highs are not as... prominent as with Bipolar I. For a long time he thought he just got depressed occasionally, no real rhyme or reason to it. In retrospect, and knowing the diagnosis, a lot of things made perfect sense.

His family history looks an awful lot like yours, too >_> <_<

[westrider.livejournal.com]

The correct diagnosis should make it a hell of a lot easier to find the right variety of fukitol, too. Medicating for the wrong problem rarely helps much.