Ugly Bugs

[bloodyrosemccoy]

There are moments that test your humanity. When adversity strikes, the raw animal components of your personality must strike a balance with the more rational, neocortical ideas and values, allowing your true colors to shine in the most horrific of moments. It is a moment that hardens a soul, the great pressure crushing all the raw aspects of a personality into an adamantine ore that is the core of your being.

Like, for example, when you find a big dead cockroach in the middle of your room, you find out your diamond-hard core is made entirely of PANIC. I wound up spiralling into a horrible vortex of anxiety, shame, and a CLEAN ALL THE THINGS mania. ROACHES AAAAH. When dinner was ready Dad found me finally clearing the accumulated dust from behind the tea shelf and the jewelry pile.

He seemed really apologetic. "It's okay, we'll clean this up. Just use the Shop Vac, we'll get this done, don't worry!"

"Thanks," I said, "but I'm already over the anxiety attack. Now I figure I'll just use the energy while I've got it."

(Later I found out why he was so contrite: he'd declared that it was my messy room that had invited in the cockroaches, till Mom pointed out that they'd more likely chill in the kitchen, and anyway the reason there's so much stuff in my room is because I am keeping it IN ONE ROOM.)

The good news is that it's finally inspired me to clean my room. My room is a clutterspace--I try to keep ahead of it, but I accumulate paper stuff at an alarming rate, what with my obsessive notebook-keeping and my love of books. Even if ol' Roachy rode in on my pants cuffs from the Liberry, where we DID have roaches, all those books on my shelves and under the desk and at the foot of the bed and behind the TV could definitely use a dusting.

Meanwhile, if he DIDN'T ride in from the outsides, I'm going to seize on the most reassuring thing I can, even if it happens to be an article from Cracked. It's like having ants. Large, ugly ants.

Go with me on this. Nobody wants to see my diamond-hard core of panic again.

Comments

[anagramofbrat.livejournal.com]

Roaches are large ugly fuckers indeed, and while I can sort of grudgingly appreciate their tenacity and indestructibility from a distance, having to suddenly encounter one up close and personal doesn't do much for my steel core of soft and cuddly either. Thankfully I only have to deal with them while in NY and for the most part Dad's cat uses them for alternate (if disgustingly crunchy) sources of protein so I don't have to worry too much about it unless I catch her in the (gross) act of eating one.

Weirdly enough, they wig me out far more dead than alive. I think it's the stiff little legs pointing into the air.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

I suppose the good news is that these are mile-high arid-climate roaches, so they're not as thunderously big as the fuckers you find at sea-level or in the tropics. (As Dave Barry once said, the roaches in Miami are so large they're required to beep when they back up.)

Hee, that there cat is adventurous! My late cat Charlie used to eat spiders (the ones I'm weirdly okay with having chill in my room--I have double standards, yes I do). She'd be doing that awkward carnivore I-don't-have-the-teeth-for-this chew with the most baffled expression on her face, like "Hey, why am I doing this, again?"

[anagramofbrat.livejournal.com]

a friend of mine from the Sudan was telling me about six inch roaches once. I was so done.

[westrider.livejournal.com]

Eo eats Ants when they get it. It's hilarious to watch her try to get the bits out of her teeth, kind of like watching a dog eat peanut butter.

[nobleplatypus]

Oh god, have I ever been there. *snugs* STAY STRONG.

[ellixis.livejournal.com]

We have wood roaches here. They usually hang out out in the yard, eating dead leaves and bark and such, but sometimes the nice warm house attracts them inside. They're harmless, but they set off the OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT GET IT AWAY FROM ME alarms in my head.

Husband-san says that he recognizes the spider screech and the wood roach screech as very specific, separate tones of yell.

[stormteller.livejournal.com]

If it makes you feel better, I once had a live roach land on my face while I was sleeping. The rest of that night was fun, let me tell you.

I'm glad I live somewhere now that there are no roaches. The scorpions keep them down.