The All-Crooner Playlists Can Fuck Right Off And Die, Though

[bloodyrosemccoy]

My sister and I do not see eye-to-eye about starting Xmas. She is of the "after Thanksgiving" persuasion; my attitude, as many of you know, is that anyone who thinks I'm starting the holidays too early can kiss my tinsel-festooned ass.

On the other hand, she's right about the lack of snow. Where's my big damn winter storm? And she sure nailed the expression of the tree in our front yard with that first drawing. It makes exactly that face all the time.

Comments

[beccastareyes]

I can't feel Christmasy until all the deciduous trees are bare and we get snow that sticks around, rather than being part of 'wet, cold mess'*. I'm going to be so screwed if I move to a warmer climate.

OTOH, one should take advantage of nice weather to string outdoor Christmas lights, even if one doesn't turn them on. And a crafter, Christmas starts when I realize how long it will take me to make things for everyone.

* Typical Ithaca late fall weather.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

The east coast stole your big-ass winter storm. We also melted the shit out of it afterwards, so you'll have to get a new one. ;-)

[gwalla.livejournal.com]

I'm generally of the after-Thanksgiving persuasion myself, though I don't really get offended as long as they at least wait until after freakin' Halloween.

My holiday season playlist is dominated by novelty tunes (though I do have the Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack in there, and the California Guitar Trio's Christmas album is played straight). This year it will be joined by a couple of last year's holiday purchases: The American Song-Poem Christmas (featuring such unclassics as "Santa Came On a Nuclear Missile") and We wish You a Metal Xmas (and a Headbanging New Year).

[dark-skada.livejournal.com]

I got bitched out on twitter the other day because I mentioned how I'm over 50% done with our Christmas shopping. But when you take into account that most of our family lives in the UK, Singapore or the Philippines - I *have* to be done before Thanksgiving, so that shit gets in the mail...

Then again... being Texas... we're not going to get snow anyway. So the whole "Christmas Season Spirit" is lost on us anyway. Let's get shit bought, wrapped and shipped and then sit on our ass drinking spiked cocoa while everyone else gets to have fun in those inevitable Holiday lines...

[stormteller.livejournal.com]

I have a rule that I boycott any store that advertises in a Christmassy fashion before December. (Although I make an exception for the local grocery, as I have to get food somewhere) Mostly this is because of issues with rampant commercialism, and partly because I find so much of the Christmas decorum irritating. The fact that I'm currently walking around in shorts and a T-shirt may have something to do with it as well.

[kittikattie.livejournal.com]

I boycott til Thanksgiving because Christmas is SUPER STRESS SPIKE at work. Seriously, I won't be happy and stress free again after Black Friday until at least mid-January.

I can't wait for the comforting joy of being told that I have ruined Christmas for someone the sixth year since I started.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Oh, god, I didn't even THINK of that. A Very XCORP Xmas would be fraught with horrors. *fears to contemplate*

[westrider.livejournal.com]

On a personal level, I'm fine with people starting the Christmas stuff whenever. After the last few years Baking during the Holidays, I'm still kind of burnt out on all of it, but I'll still pull out my Christmas music for a while.

But the Retail Christmas thing really gets on my nerves. I do not want to see that shit on the shelves in mid-October, and I'd really rather skip the in-store carols entirely. But that last is more because they always have really crappy Christmas music than because I inherently dislike Christmas music/spirit.

[gwalla.livejournal.com]

In-store Christmas music would be improved 2000% if they'd just throw on "Walkin' 'Round in Women's Underwear" or "Holy Shit, It's Christmas" every once in a while.

[westrider.livejournal.com]

The thing that gets me is that I know it can be good. Without that much effort, I've managed to accumulate something like 14-16 hours worth of really good Christmas Music*, and my Mom's got a lot more than that.

Two years ago, when the Bakery I was working in was open late for the Tree Lighting ceremony downtown, they borrowed my iPod to plug in up front, because it was way better than anything they had or could get on the Satellite Radio.

Even just replacing every other version of the crappy songs that get played every hour with something from that would be a vast improvement.



*Including the We wish You a Metal Xmas (and a Headbanging New Year) that you mentioned above :)

[gwalla.livejournal.com]

Every year I'm tempted to provide music for the office holiday party, until I come to my senses and realize that The Vandals' "Christmastime For My Penis" is unlikely to go over well in that context.

[westrider.livejournal.com]

I had to make a pretty strictly censored version of my collection before I used it at work. Stuff like Easy E's Merry Muthauckin' Christmas, yeah, doesn't work so well around the normies.

[gwalla.livejournal.com]

On that note, Rev. Run & the Christmas All-Stars - Santa Baby (feat. Snoop Dogg, Mase, Onyx, Salt 'n' Pepa)

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

And yet people feel that "Baby It's Cold Outside" is a fair choice, when that song makes me want to call the police. There is only one version that doesn't sound like its inevitable conclusion will be in criminal court with a sleazy lawyer trying to convince a jury that "maybe just a half a drink more" equals consent and that his client simply thought rohypnol was an integral part of a hot toddy.

[stormteller.livejournal.com]

That song always reminded me of "The Continental" a sketch on SNL where Christopher Walken plays a creepy (what else) European guy who invites a woman into his apartment then blocks the door and tries to convince her to drink some champagne. I think there should be a duet version with Christopher Walken and, because of her voice and she's good at looking scared, Zooey Deschanel.

[gwalla.livejournal.com]

Calling the Police may not help matters. They did "Every Breath You Take", after all.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Good point--they also did "Don't Stand So Close To Me." This is what's wrong with the criminal justice system, man. The law enforcement is just as bad.

(Although at least they REALIZED the songs were about questionable matters, which is more than can be said for "Baby It's Cold Outside." Or the people who make "Every Breath You Take" their wedding song, for that matter.)

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Agreed. I do remember we had our own Very Crooner Christmas going when I worked in a store, and it drove me CRAZY.

[westrider.livejournal.com]

And I really do not need a different terrible version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer every hour on the hour. Variety, people! It's the spice of life!

[marsdejahthoris.livejournal.com]

I've got all my Christmas shopping done, but it helps that I only have five people to shop for, and I tend to buy presents whenever I see something that reminds me of said relative. Christmas decorations, I like to see wait 'til Thanksgiving, and after working in retail, I firmly believe that repetition of "Jingle Bell Rock" can lead to homicidal mania.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_wastrel/]

I kind of begin dreading Christmas sometime in late August, but understand that not everyone is going to share my experiences or the perspectives or emotional reactions I've derived thereof, of course.

As an aside, even though I know everything I need to know not to think this, I still couldn't help but have the instinctual reaction when I first read this "Thanksgiving? What's she talking about? That was ages ago!"