Might I Have A Bit Of Earth?

[bloodyrosemccoy]

Dad is having so much fun messing around with my vegetable garden that he now thinks we should farm the whole dang backyard.

I gotta admit, I did not see that one coming.

Good thing I checked out all those books on self-sufficiency and urban homesteading weeks ago. It wasn’t hard to find them—they are everywhere. It seems that I am not the only one who wants to acquire some useful skills in case of nuclear and/or zombie apocalypse. Or maybe the current economic depression is influencing the zeitgeist. Either way, it means a lot of books about Mini-Homesteading For Dumb Bastards, books that guarantee that, by the time you’re all set up, the only thing you’ll be needing the grocery store for is to buy hygiene products and maybe satisfy your occasional cravings for Ding-Dongs.*

Anyway, I’m gonna start digging up the big dumb hill in the backyard, so that it can be planted next year. Mom thinks I’m nuts for going along with Dad—she doesn’t realize that I was actually toying with the idea of digging up the hill but wasn’t sure he would go for it. It’s hard to know with Dad, sometimes, but once he got all excited about it himself, all bets were off.

ME: I admit, I would rather like to do a native wildflower garden on at least some of the hill.

MY SISTER: I say you do a garden consisting entirely of gallopingly invasive non-native species! A garden that boldly proclaims “Fuck you!” to the neighbors and the local wildlife!

ME: Hell, no. If I plant invasives, they will be paired off with native counterparts so that they can fight to the death. I will have the first ever dedicated garden Thunderdome!

So I guess I’m off to buy a shovel in the next few days, since the only hobbit-sized shovel we have is on its last gasp. We’ll work on how to shore up the hill next.


*I’m guessing that some of the more dedicated books also tell you how to make your own hygiene products. Until they invent trees that sprout rolls of toilet paper, I’m sticking with the grocery store.

Comments

[mel-redcap.livejournal.com]

ROFL at Garden Thunderdome! XD

[nobleplatypus]

Can't we get beyond Thunderdome?



... I'm sorry. I was watching "Laserblast" before I fell asleep last night, and I just couldn't resist.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

I was waiting for that one. ("We've tied Mike up and jammed an oily rag into his mouth so we could bring you the following joke!")

I watched a movie with Roddy McDowall in it last night. All I could think was, "So THIS is how Roddy McDowall DIED?!"

[fenmere.livejournal.com]

My grandparents had large patches of half St. John's Wart and half Ivy surrounding their house. Some of it is still there, even after my uncle bought and landscaped the property, and the struggle between the two titans continues to this day.

It can be done!

[pixel39.livejournal.com]

I have a small plot next to the house which is mint and raspberries, fighting to the death. The struggle continues!

Look up Square Foot Gardening, which is an interesting idea and sounds like something you would be interested in. And you might want to terrace the hill to make it easier to plant.

[wendyzski.livejournal.com]

I have had three different kinds of mint doing tasty battle with each other for years. I've divided them out a couple of times, so the Mint Empire has outposts and homesteads.

[pixel39.livejournal.com]

I used to have...um...five kinds of mint. Peppermint, spearmint, chocolate mint, ginger mint, and a lone but stubborn apple mint. And catnip. Now I have "mostly peppermint" and "mostly spearmint", the apple mint has given up the fight. The catnip has mostly moved to other locations, apparently under its own volition.

I also used to have a raised-bed garden. Next to it was a raspberry patch and a shrub rose. Now I have a raised-bed raspberry patch with a shrub rose colony, and the raspberries are continuing the advance towards the lawn.

[wendyzski.livejournal.com]

The peppermint seems to be slowly losing the war, but the apple- and spear- are running about even. Each has one or two outposts in pots. Catnip was started from seed this season and has already been divided into three and probably has to be again soon.

Our parkway garden was planted last year, and the grass surrounding it is being colonized by projectile violets.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm definitely planning to terrace it. Not only would it be easier to plant, but it'd also be easier just to stand on.

I've got a couple books on square foot gardening right now, so we'll see if they offer any advice.

I honestly don't know who I'd bet on in your plot there.

[acrossthelake.livejournal.com]

Okay, it's settled--when the apocalypse comes I'll share my family's gun resources if you share your food ones. I keep wanting to start seriously gardening in our backyard anyway so maybe we can share that too. If I can find a way to keep Greta and the new puppy (!) from immediately digging up anything I plant, that is.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

New puppy? OH GOD.

Are you talking the backyard here, or there? Because if you mean here, then it means perhaps you are coming home at some point! Yay!

I need to learn about guns, yes, if only so I know what to do if they ever happen to me.

Sorry, Yahoo ate your reply notification.

[acrossthelake.livejournal.com]

Well the new puppy was actually more new a few months ago, but yeah, Dad and Autumn now have a half-year-old Irish wolfhound named Archer. The pictures I've seen of him are near-unbearably cute but honestly I'm glad I don't have to be there for purposes of housebreaking and other puppy stuff.

And yeah, I mean my backyard at home. Rest assured I'm not in England indefinitely and will be getting my sorry butt back stateside probably next summer unless my one awesome professor manages to talk me into doing a master's in English at Oxford after all.

[shadesofmauve]

Any truly complete home-steaders guide will also tell you how to locate the most promising places to mine for ding-dongs.

What? You thought they made those out of things that grew?

[ellixis.livejournal.com]

Just cackled loud enough to scare the dog, thank you very much.

[westrider.livejournal.com]

But it's still overly optimistic to think you can just dig them out of the ground and chow down. The good deposits were all worked out years ago, and now there's usually an unbelievable amount of smelting and forging involved before you get a decent ding-dong ;)