It's WRONG, Is All

[bloodyrosemccoy]

An Open Letter To Disgruntled Authors

Please quit hammering on about how your characters are like your children. I realize that your characters are important to you, with a bond that cannot be understood by outsiders, but dammit your simile’s just inaccurate. I have read your books. I know what you do to those poor dopes. Your book is not a nurturing environment.

Therefore, when I hear you say they’re like your children, it makes me want to call child protective services.

C’mon—you can come up with a better comparison. You’re writers. I’m sure you’ll think of something.

Comments

[bluetara2020.livejournal.com]

So much sense. My idea of an omniscient god is that guy who personifies couch potato with this really big screen tv that shows all of reality at once. He never runs out of crisps and his beer is always cold. He also ends up yelling at the screen and once almost put his foot through it but ended up tripping over the dog.

No, seriously, I've imagined him in my head. And since he was already there anyway...

Yeah, he ended up being the god of laziness, unsolicited advice and ineffectual knowledge. His name is Cass.

Besides, if I'm god and I've given them free will I don't feel nearly as bad as when they get into trouble. Although there are sometimes when I facepalm and wonder if freewill is a gift I can return for, say, a nice coupon from Bloomies.