bloodyrosemccoy | Deep Thoughts

You know, I’ve had two different conversations recently that came up independently on the subject of the Jedi, and both conversations seem to have come to the same conclusion: that, Force-wielding smackdown abilities notwithstanding, Yoda was full of shit.

My brother has long complicated arguments for this involving the Jedi Council and backstory and centuries of interference, but me, I think I can boil it down to Yoda’s approach to that one all-important character-defining moment, the Scary Tree.

I mean, first he tells Luke that war and killing suck and also to never acknowledge his natural reactions and impulses because they’re the Dark Side. To prove his point he he sends Luke into the Scary Tree and is all, “Yes, full of evil this tree is, but also only what you bring with you will you find, so disregard the first part of this sentence you should” or something and Luke is like “Well, fine, then, what I’m bringin’ with me is mah lightsaber,” and then he meets his own inner Dark Side and is young and dumb and decides that he shouldn’t waste time considering that and just kills it dead. Then Yoda’s like, “Failed, you have” and Luke’s all “DUDE YOU JUST TOLD ME TO SQUASH MY NEGATIVE EMOTIONS.”

But then Luke decides that the lesson is that you should examine the Dark Side and find a way to own your darkness and becomes all wise and figures he’ll try it Yoda’s peacenik way and just reason with Darth Vader, and Yoda’s like “NO JUST STAB HIM YOU PROBABLY SHOULD.”

Not to mention the whole “Do, or do not. There is no try.” Kevin J Anderson tried his damndest to make this a useful lesson, but I don’t know that Yoda actually meant “You learn from failures too.” I honestly think the crazy little frog went senile some 500 years ago.

Anyway, this has no bearing on the fact that Luke is one of my heroes. But Yoda? He should probably go teach gym or something.