Scenes From Christmas Eve
Dec. 25th, 2009 02:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
So every year, the family gets together to wrap each other’s presents in the same room, blocked by bits of furniture, so’s we can commentate on the presents without giving them away.
AMELIA: Dude, I really went all-out on your present this year. You get a wireless reading device!
AMELIA’S BROTHER, THE DUDE: You got me a book, didn’t you.
AMELIA: Dammit, why didn’t I get you a hardcover? Paperbacks are hard to wrap.

AMELIA’S LITTLE SISTER, 妹: I am so prepared today. I even wore the Dumb Santa earrings!

AMELIA: I have a camera! I will spy upon you and find out what I’m getting!
妹: I can see you, you know.
AMELIA: Pass me the scissors. Not those left-handed bullshit ones!
DAD: What a curse. You and I, Amelia, have had to put up with years of left-handed scissory in this household.
THE LEFTIES*: OH YOU HAVE, HAVE YOU?
妹: Quit buying those! None of us can use them either.
AMELIA: Alas, none of the presents were the right size for my favorite bags.
DAD: Next year, you’ll just have to take the bags shopping with you.
AMELIA: Oh, sure. “Damn, this present is perfect for Mom, but it doesn’t fit in the bag. I’ll have to get something else.”
DAD: It’s that or the ugly Rudolph bag for your perfect gift.
AMELIA: This song has the most insane lyrics I have ever heard.
MOM: It's “Jingle Bells.”
AMELIA: “Jingo bachee bopachetan fetan blatzen bleechen.”
MOM: Well, it's “Jingle Bells” by James Taylor.

THE DUDE: Since you can actually see through this wrapping paper, I had to do some creative problem solving.

DAD: Should we start taking the presents down?
AMELIA: But I just got my fort all built!

CAT 1: I see you are laden with presents to haul downstairs to the tree! Probably the best vantage point to watch this from is here on this stair.

CAT 2: I’m not so sure about this bag.

CAT 2: But joining you for dinner is acceptable.
FAMILY: Time to watch some Muppet Christmas movie! Let’s put it in, roll the credits …
PHONE: I was told you were the doctor on call this Christmas.
DAD: … On the one hand, I have to go down to the emergency room on Christmas Eve to see some octogenarian who fell and hit his head and may have a hematoma. On the other hand, I get out of having to watch Muppets.
MOM: If Dad has to go in tomorrow morning, we may have to wait till the afternoon to open presents.
KIDS: Sounds good. We don’t get up before then anyway.
*Mom, The Dude, and 妹. If it is indeed true that Dad is ambidextrous, I’m the only true right-hander in my family.
Anyway! Happy What-mas To All, And To All A Good Night!
AMELIA: Dude, I really went all-out on your present this year. You get a wireless reading device!
AMELIA’S BROTHER, THE DUDE: You got me a book, didn’t you.
AMELIA: Dammit, why didn’t I get you a hardcover? Paperbacks are hard to wrap.

AMELIA’S LITTLE SISTER, 妹: I am so prepared today. I even wore the Dumb Santa earrings!

AMELIA: I have a camera! I will spy upon you and find out what I’m getting!
妹: I can see you, you know.
AMELIA: Pass me the scissors. Not those left-handed bullshit ones!
DAD: What a curse. You and I, Amelia, have had to put up with years of left-handed scissory in this household.
THE LEFTIES*: OH YOU HAVE, HAVE YOU?
妹: Quit buying those! None of us can use them either.
AMELIA: Alas, none of the presents were the right size for my favorite bags.
DAD: Next year, you’ll just have to take the bags shopping with you.
AMELIA: Oh, sure. “Damn, this present is perfect for Mom, but it doesn’t fit in the bag. I’ll have to get something else.”
DAD: It’s that or the ugly Rudolph bag for your perfect gift.
AMELIA: This song has the most insane lyrics I have ever heard.
MOM: It's “Jingle Bells.”
AMELIA: “Jingo bachee bopachetan fetan blatzen bleechen.”
MOM: Well, it's “Jingle Bells” by James Taylor.

THE DUDE: Since you can actually see through this wrapping paper, I had to do some creative problem solving.

DAD: Should we start taking the presents down?
AMELIA: But I just got my fort all built!

CAT 1: I see you are laden with presents to haul downstairs to the tree! Probably the best vantage point to watch this from is here on this stair.

CAT 2: I’m not so sure about this bag.

CAT 2: But joining you for dinner is acceptable.
FAMILY: Time to watch some Muppet Christmas movie! Let’s put it in, roll the credits …
PHONE: I was told you were the doctor on call this Christmas.
DAD: … On the one hand, I have to go down to the emergency room on Christmas Eve to see some octogenarian who fell and hit his head and may have a hematoma. On the other hand, I get out of having to watch Muppets.
MOM: If Dad has to go in tomorrow morning, we may have to wait till the afternoon to open presents.
KIDS: Sounds good. We don’t get up before then anyway.
*Mom, The Dude, and 妹. If it is indeed true that Dad is ambidextrous, I’m the only true right-hander in my family.
Anyway! Happy What-mas To All, And To All A Good Night!
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Date: 2009-12-25 12:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-27 04:28 am (UTC)My present fort keeps me safe from any wayward flying bows.
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Date: 2009-12-25 12:46 pm (UTC)So true. XD This is the first day since my big bro got here that I've gotten up before him, and it's a quarter to two.
Happy Yule!
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Date: 2009-12-25 01:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-25 04:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-25 04:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-25 08:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-27 04:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-06 08:27 pm (UTC)