Hand Foot Wayward

[bloodyrosemccoy]

I think this new sports bra I’ve got is working. As evidence, I present to you the following conversation I had with a ten-year-old boy at the tae kwon do academy yesterday:

KID: *puzzled stare at unfamiliar person*
AMELIA: Hi! I am checking this school out to see if it suits my purposes. My name’s Amelia. What’s yours?
KID: I’m—wait, you have a GIRL’S name!
AMELIA: … Yes. I have wondered about that too. Then I realized it’s probably because I am a girl.
KID: *disbelief and embarrassment*
AMELIA: But I just got my hair cut, so it’s hard to tell.

Which I suppose it is,* if the Princess Peach T-shirt with some telltale bumps underneath doesn’t give me away.

That was also an issue of some concern to the masters at the school—I do’t have quite the right uniform. Mom threw out (and rightly so) most of our old uniforms, except for one rather important exception.

INSTRUCTOR: (on the phone setting up my first time at the school) I don’t suppose you have a uniform for the first day?
AMELIA: I have my Formal Black Belt uniform. It is black.
INSTRUCTOR: Ah, yes, we have the very same black belt uniform! It is white.
AMELIA: That does not actually sound like the same uniform at all.
INSTRUCTOR: Of course it does! There is a black v-neck collar on this uniform.
AMELIA: … No, you do not understand. My black belt uniform is BLACK.
INSTRUCTOR: Black?
AMELIA: Like a raven on a moonless night. Like the finest obsidian blade. Like deepest infinity. When I wear it, I am the night.
INSTRUCTOR: Right. Okay, I guess the offer of a free uniform with first month’s tuition stands.

Which is probably good, since I showed up in the pants from that outfit and a black T-shirt with Princess Peach on it—the full uniform is too hot to actually do much in. I looked like the Evil Ninja on casual Friday.

I told the master I was rusty, and he observed that it’s not like riding a bicycle. But once I started the kicking drills, I had to disagree. I remember how to kick just fine. It’s just a question of trying to get my body to do them again with its less-than-in-shape form. At this point everything I do looks like a mutant roundhouse kick, but then it always has.

And man, did it feel good to do some kicks. I didn’t realize I’d missed it so much. I think I’m going to keep missing the camaraderie of my old school—this new one does not seem the type where we can heckle quite so much—but then, I didn’t expect it to be quite the same anyway.

The only drawback is that this place is off in Way The Hell Over Thereistan, so it’s a bit of a commute. But hey—I rather enjoy the drive, once I know how to get there. It may be an issue in the winter, though.

I suppose I could wear my black uniform then. It’d keep me warm on the drive, anyway.


*Perhaps it’s due to the fact that I marched into this new hairdresser’s salon and said, “I am looking for a hairdresser who agrees that I would look good with a hairstyle from the men’s sections of these hair magazines!” I have never seen a man outside of a magazine or movie actually sport those styles, anyway—they should me marketed as “slightly less girly.”

Comments

[beccastareyes]

I remember I had a hairdresser who seemed to think it was a crime for me to wear my hair as short as I wanted it. Needless to say, I didn't go back there.

(My hair isn't even that short -- it's a short bob thing, which usually turns into a long bob-thing since I don't cut it that often.)

[ellixis.livejournal.com]

I make a point of going back to the chick who cuts my hair exactly the way I want it without asking me every time if I know how short that is and do I reaaaalllly want it that short, am I sure? Yes, I do know how short that is. I like my hair short.

[gryphart.livejournal.com]

God, yes. Those magazines always look like that hair would require an hour of maintenance every morning, and I'm just not into that.

(Mine is a layered bob, and like becca there, mine tends to get shoulder-length before I cut it, as haircuts are stupidly expensive and annoying.)

[newroticgirl.livejournal.com]

Despite my shoulder-length curly hair AND distinct chest bumps, I was often mistaken for a boy when I was pumping gas back in high school.

These days, I just cut my own. It's way cheeper... and with curly hair, next to impossible to tell if it's uneven or if it's supposed to look that way. ;)

[gwalla.livejournal.com]

You are the night, but are you also vengeance?

[sylvidoptera.livejournal.com]

And now for your random amusement of the day...

...you were in my dreams last night. With a crush on Harold Ramis, who was working in my office. You made him a heart-shaped cake with strawberries on top. And you almost beat the crap out of some woman in the office who was standing too close to him.

VERY funny. :D

[http://users.livejournal.com/_wastrel/]

I can't help but think long hair would be distracting and annoying, even though I've never had it that long. I'm pretty sure I'd wear it short even if I wasn't a guy (and I'm not sure I wouldn't wear a Peach shirt even though I am). Kicks are catharsis! :>

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

And the Peach shirt just makes it that much easier to pretend you're in a Smash Brothers game!

[confusedpuppy.livejournal.com]

I can totally relate. I'm trying out this one Dojang which is more MMA than straight TKD, and that's is not what I want. They start out with ITF patterns, then higher belts do WTF poomsae. The guard and a lot of kicks and blocks are from Muay Thai. Do Not Want. The other possibility is at least a 20 min drive. And I don't have a car. That means it's probably an hour or so on the bus.
What I am probably gonna do is go back to gymnastics for the year at least, then when I move next May find something that's right for me. (fingers crossed anyway)

Also, these are direct quotes from kids I've coached. I even had long hair at that point, I think.
Young boy: "Are you a girl or a boy?"
Young girl: "You look like a boy"
" " (later): "I don't like you."

p.s. I am a girl. Last time I checked anyway ;)