The Latest In Things That Could Kill You
Mar. 31st, 2009 11:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bloodyrosemccoyYesterday, I was cooking some corn chowder and Mom was going over the computer news for the day.
MOM: Hey, check this headline out! The latest item on the List Of Things That Cause Cancer is tea!
AMELIA: Ah, well. I resign myself to being doomed.
But as always, there was more to the story when you click on the link. Like the time I saw a headline that said something like “HOT DOGS CAN TOTALLY CAUSE CANCER.” Turns out when you read the actual article that hot dogs can cause cancer if you eat something like six hot dogs every day for twenty years or something. At that point, I do not think cancer is really your main issue.
This time, it turned out that the catch was that tea causes cancer if you drink it straight out of the boiling kettle. “It’s very hot tea,” Mom reported. “Warm tea is okay. But tea drunk less than two minutes after boiling is the culprit.”
To which I indignantly replied, “You do not drink tea two minutes after it’s been boiling! You need to steep it longer than that, for crying out loud!”*
I have never been able to grasp the idea of those people who drink scalding hot beverages. My principle is that if it scalds my roommate’s skin when I accidentally pour it all over her hands (sorry, Liz), it probably does not do good things to the inside of one’s mouth or throat. Plus, it hurts, dammit. That should be about as common sense as not eating a hundred billion hot dogs,** or grasping the principle that sticking your hand in the toaster causes injury. Think, people.
*Unless it’s green or white tea, but in that case it shouldn’t have been boiling in the first place, dammit.
**Although a hundred billion hot dogs is awesome.
MOM: Hey, check this headline out! The latest item on the List Of Things That Cause Cancer is tea!
AMELIA: Ah, well. I resign myself to being doomed.
But as always, there was more to the story when you click on the link. Like the time I saw a headline that said something like “HOT DOGS CAN TOTALLY CAUSE CANCER.” Turns out when you read the actual article that hot dogs can cause cancer if you eat something like six hot dogs every day for twenty years or something. At that point, I do not think cancer is really your main issue.
This time, it turned out that the catch was that tea causes cancer if you drink it straight out of the boiling kettle. “It’s very hot tea,” Mom reported. “Warm tea is okay. But tea drunk less than two minutes after boiling is the culprit.”
To which I indignantly replied, “You do not drink tea two minutes after it’s been boiling! You need to steep it longer than that, for crying out loud!”*
I have never been able to grasp the idea of those people who drink scalding hot beverages. My principle is that if it scalds my roommate’s skin when I accidentally pour it all over her hands (sorry, Liz), it probably does not do good things to the inside of one’s mouth or throat. Plus, it hurts, dammit. That should be about as common sense as not eating a hundred billion hot dogs,** or grasping the principle that sticking your hand in the toaster causes injury. Think, people.
*Unless it’s green or white tea, but in that case it shouldn’t have been boiling in the first place, dammit.
**Although a hundred billion hot dogs is awesome.
