Bad Sign Number Six Million And Seventeen

[bloodyrosemccoy]

Here is the entirety of the last sentence at the very bottom of the “about your medication” sheet for this round of Fukitol:

CONTACT YOUR DOCTOR AT ONCE if

Good to know they're looking out for me.

I’ve been having to censor myself from the world recently. Sometimes that happens—I become unable to shoulder the weight of the world, from social injustice to overly emotional movies. The low-level panic attack I’ve mentioned can flare into something not-so-low at the slightest provocation. Last time I had to do that was in high school, when I would refuse to take an interest anything I could get even slightly emotionally invested in because it would trigger panic that the thing I was invested in would Come To No Good. I didn’t want to bury my head in the sand for the rest of my life, but I remember explaining to someone it was like a raw wound—not something you’d expose to even normal elements or wear and tear until it got back its normal strength and resilience.

I’ve tapered enough off of Failed Fukitol Trial #1 to start Hopefully Not Failed Fukitol Trial#2 today. Let’s see if it works.


Also! I wasn't going to bandwagon onto a fandom I'm not really into, but this image of Rorschach is pretty much dead-on to my own feelings about antidepressants.

Comments

[chibicharibdys.livejournal.com]

Oh, huh. I kind of have that too, where I have a hard time watching movies or reading things with any sort of violent or sad emotional hook, and then other times when I'm more emotionally stable it doesn't bother me nearly as much.

Just because I feel like telling someone other than my roommate (you know, like the entire internet) right now I'm on 40ml of Fluoxitine. Apparently you can drink alcohol in moderation while you're on it, but it makes you extra drowsy, and since as far as I can tell all drinking alcohol does to me is make me drowsy, I think I'll just ... avoid alcohol for now.

[pixel39.livejournal.com]

OTOH, if you are having a hard time getting to sleep, a glass of wine would be *just* the thing. ;-)

[lookingforwater.livejournal.com]

Nothing wrong with a bandwagon.

Joiiiiin ussss....

[http://users.livejournal.com/_wastrel/]

I recognize what you're describing now, not only from my own experience but from what would have given you the empathy for my situation when I was explaining it back in 2006. I remember you compared it to being like a crustacean that has to hide when it's over-grown its shell until it grows a new one, and having found that enough of an apt metaphor that it stuck with me. I need periods of distance from emotions like that, but when I let them drag on too long, I realized that I start doing some pretty crazy shit just to make myself feel an emotion that my body's starved for.

I hope you can manage to pull off this unwieldly balancing act as well as you can, and if you need to take a break from reading my journal to come back to it in a few weeks, know that I understand what you're going through well enough not to get offended by it. Heck, I get too intense for my own taste most of the time.

I certainly don't mind the Rorschach icon, and I have a hard time imagining you becoming an Objectivist yourself.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

I still use the phrase "out of my shell" to describe this sense. It always did seem like a good way to explain it.

I'll stick around on your journal, I think. If I need a break I'll let you know.

[westrider.livejournal.com]

I've been there. I read some book (The Mood Cure) that said it was generally because of a lack of a specific neurotransmitter, but I can't remember which one right now.

I meant to have more here, but the remains of my death flu intervened and stole it. Maybe I'll remember later.

[queenlyzard.livejournal.com]

"Contact your doctor" nothing. It's the pharmacists who know what's what.