Cruel And Very Unusual

[bloodyrosemccoy]

My sister assures me that this method of interrogation will get anyone talking in no time. I really can’t fault her reasoning.

Amelia’s Sister Presents: How To Interrogate A Hostile

1. Acquire hostile.
2. Acquire a large plate of pancakes with lots of syrup.
3. Place hostile in room with plate of pancakes, no water, and no fork. Tell hostile that the pancakes are all there is to eat.
4. If the hostile is not revealing the location of the rebel base halfway through the pancakes, then hostile is clearly made of sterner stuff than most people. Not to worry!
5. Notice that the syrup got everywhere. The syrup always does. Hostile will now be covered in it.
6. When hostile inevitably caves and asks for something to clean up with, give hostile exactly one of those crummy paper napkins like the ones in cafeterias—the ones that will get soaked in syrup and break up into chunks, which will then stick to hostile.
7. For particularly tough cases, try blowing a few feathers around the room with fans.
8. Sit back and wait for the location of the rebel base.

My sister is a genius. I know I’d talk.

Comments

[pixel39.livejournal.com]

Does this method take into account hostiles who might have just finished a large meal and are thus not hungry?

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Yes. If that is the case, you just leave the hostile in the room for a longer period of time. They will get hungry again eventually.

[luinmir.livejournal.com]

See, I always end up licking the syrup from my fingers/wherever it ends up. Is there a contingency plan for this behavior?

[shadesofmauve]

Yes. It's the "Webcam and youtube account" contingency plan.

[chairman-wow.livejournal.com]

That is genius. Just reading it made me want to go wash my hands. XD

[ellixis.livejournal.com]

Brilliant and truly evil.

[crazykawaii.livejournal.com]

Oh man, I would NOT be able to handle this. I absolutely HATE being sticky! Ugh. Torture technique indeed!

[renshai.livejournal.com]

Aw come on, rebels are made of sterner stuff than that. They'd just sit there, happily full and slightly sticky, and use the napkin for origami to amuse themselves.

Between the napkin, the syrup, and the feathers, you could probably build a fully-feathered origami crane!

And now I'm craving pancakes. And I don't even /like/ pancakes. Darn after-class munchies.

[bean-bunny.livejournal.com]

But I don't like my pancakes with syrup.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Well, TOO BAD! It's all we have, and we're EVIL! MUHAHAHAHA!

[killabee886.livejournal.com]

Shut up, just shut up!...you had me at pancakes.

your sister is cunning. Jack Bauer could learn a thing or two from her.

[michellerz.livejournal.com]

LOL this is truly the work of a genius mind. XD

[queenlyzard.livejournal.com]

Indeed!