bloodyrosemccoy | Let's Go To The Flow Chart

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RESIDENCY APPLICATION: So! You are applying for residency here in the state, are you? What makes you think you can make this bold claim?

AMELIA: I live here.

RA: Do you have a flag?

AMELIA: What?

RA: Never mind. Can you prove you live here?

AMELIA: I will prove the hell out of it!

RA: We’ll just see about that. Where were you born?

AMELIA: San Francisco, California.

RA: AHA! When did you move to Utah?

AMELIA: Twenty years ago.

RA: Have you been here contnuously since then?

AMELIA: Yes.

RA: What about your parents? Where do they live?

AMELIA: Utah.

RA: Do you live with them?
AMELIA: Yes. In Utah.

RA: All right, lets move on to to school. Salt Lake Community College will still count you as a resident of Utah if you have gone to school, or done military service, or gone on a mission for your church,* somewhere else. Where did you go to school?

AMELIA: Oregon.

RA: AHA! You are clearly not a resident!

AMELIA: No, I was not a resident of Oregon. I paid out-of-state tuition. On account of living in Utah.

RA: Huh. What about this Kenya business? That is clearly not Utah.

AMELIA: Also school. And I did not become a citizen of Kenya. You will notice I was there on a student visa.

RA: You make a valid point. But can you back any of these claims up?

AMELIA: Feast your eyes on my Utah driver’s license!

RA: Curses! Okay, final question: please sum up in a few sentences why you think you deserve residency status here in Utah.

AMELIA: I believe I should have residency status in Utah because I’ve lived in this damn state since I was two, and at the same address since I was four. If this does not grant me residency, then by god I give up entirely.

*Yes, they specify this one. What with this being, you know, Utah.