Chemical Burn

[bloodyrosemccoy]

Last night we went up to my parents’ friends’ house up in Park City for dinner, dessert, and a big old bonfire. The first two went off in that pleasant way that’s totally uninteresting to read about unless Charles Dickens writes it—nice, friendly get-together, 27 types of noodle salad, quoting Flight of the Conchords, etc.. But when we got to the bonfire, things changed.

 

This was no ordinary bonfire, you see. This was the kind of bonfire that’s being started by a host who works with magnesium, and who had a few bricks of the stuff on hand.

 

This was an educational bonfire.

 

For instance, you may know that magnesium burns incandescently white, and sparks.  But! Did you also know that if you throw burning magnesium into water, the oxygen and hydrogen in the water will separate and then burn?

 

That’s right. Magnesium burns water.

 

We found this fascinating, and Our Host gave us a nifty demonstration by tossing a few drops of water onto a small burning chunk of magnesium.  We spent some time watching the sparks, which were like tiny bits of fireworks. And then, as the fire was starting to burn down and staring at the molten magnesium was forming spots in my vision, we heard the sound of a truck.  And, since everyone in my family has at some point worked in a hospital, we recognized the sound of it.

 

This was a fire truck.*

 

Sure enough, it pulled into the driveway, and out came a couple of firemen in full Primate Dominance Mode. They swaggered up and started to lecture Our Host on how his fire pit wasn’t a Regulation Costco Fire Pit, and told us they would have to put the thing out.

 

Then another eager young fireman trotted up with the fire hose.

 

Oh, swell.

 

The reaction was impressive.  Three of us got up and scrambled away, and Our Host turned to the eager young fireman with the calm of a hostage negotiator telling the coked-up nutcase to put the gun down nice and easy.

 

Our Host: You really don’t want to put a lot of water on this fire.

Eager Young Fireman: (belligerently) Oh yeah?  And why wouldn’t I?

Our Host: I used magnesium to start it. You put water on that, it’s going to flare up and burn down your fire truck.

The Expressions On The Firemen’s Faces: I do not know what that word means, but it sounds sciency, and science is dangerous and unpredictable! What are we going to do?!

Our Host: You’d better let me take care of this.

 

So we spent the rest of our time at our friends’ house watching Our Host pile dirt on the fire.  Meanwhile, Mom asked the guy what got them up here in the first place.

 

Fireman: Oh, we had multiple neighbors call this one in.

Pick Your Favorite Subtitle For The Phrase “Multiple Neighbors”: A. Two neighbors;  B. One neighbor twice; C. One neighbor once, and they always say “multiple neighbors” in a futile attempt to prevent a neighbor war.

 

And so the magnesium fire was out, and Our Slightly Embarrassed Host waved off the slightly deflated firemen. As they pulled out, he turned to us with a sheepish grin.  “Well, thanks for coming this evening. Who else can promise you a fire truck as part of the evening’s entertainment?”

 

And, you know, he’s right.

 

 

*Fire trucks are a constant at hospitals because people like to use the emergency room as their primary care source, and so they call 911 for things like sore toes, and basically use fire trucks like taxis.

Comments

[shadowofdoubt.livejournal.com]

=O

Goodness, LOL. I would have paid money to see the look on the fireman's face when he realized he couldn't use his Penis Compensator.

[dreams-cametrue.livejournal.com]

That was quite an experience!

As an engineer who has worked with magnesium and as a motorsports enthusiast who has been around the stuff most of my life, it scares the crap out of me. The shavings are particularly evil since it doesn't take much to cause them to combust, very special precautions must be taken with the chips that are left when magnesium is sawn or machined.

Many years ago, 1970 or thereabouts, a Formula 1 racecar made primarily from magnesium crashed and burned. The fuel caught the magnesium structure on fire and the firefighters at the track used all the firefighting foam on the premises in a vain attempt to put out the fire. They finally brought in a front-end loader and covered the wreckage with dirt. The next day they exhumed the wreckage to recover the driver's remains and the magnesium burst into flames again.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Yeah, we were all a little nervous, but he assured us he knew what he was doing (famous last words) and has worked with it for years. When the firemen left he carefully rearranged the dirt to let the stuff flare up again so it wouldn't just smolder.

We did learn a lot about it, though. It was pretty impressive.

[dreams-cametrue.livejournal.com]

Yeah, uncovering it and letting it burn out would be the best thing to do. I have a bit of fire phobia, nice controlled fires don't bother me but it's just about impossible to put out a mag fire before it burns out.

[gondolinchick01.livejournal.com]

Goodness. Burning Twinkies with lighter fluid seems pretty mundane now. (Although one of our honored guests did observe that due to the frequency wtih which we do such things she's vaguely surprised we *haven't* had the fire department called on us, or worse.)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_wastrel/]

The Expressions On The Firemen’s Faces: I do not know what that word means, but it sounds sciency, and science is dangerous and unpredictable! What are we going to do?!
I wish I could come up with lines like that. :D

[queenlyzard.livejournal.com]

Oh, that is gorgeous. You are /so/ lucky. How come I never get to have educational bonfires? No one ever lets me play with magnesium *pouts*