Autobiographical Limerick: My Achilles Heel

[bloodyrosemccoy]

No Pants Day
Robert's Rules Day
Yom Hashoah (Holocaust Day - Israel)
Birthday - Dr. Benjamin Spock (pediatrician/author)

 

If I greet your request with defiance

One way to assure my compliance:

Say what you ask will discern

Something we need to learn.

Chances are that I’ll do it FOR SCIENCE!

 

If something may help further knowledge, I can be suckered into it pretty easily.  For example, if you are going to give me a pelvic exam* and tell me you’ve got a student who needs some practical experience and would it be okay if she came in and it’s totally fine if it isn’t, I am in charge and don’t think otherwise, I will give you the go ahead and wonder why you looked so terrified while you asked.  Even after this term’s study of the way modern medicine can be so invasive, I am the zen patient. Doctors are more nervous about my personal space than I am.

 

Comes from being the TMI Queen, I guess.

 

I am slightly cheeky about it, though.  When the doctor said, “I’m just going to be talking to this student, okay?” I replied, “Okay. Maybe I can even listen in!” Except I also provided a running commentary on what she was telling her student.

 

 

*I have got to stop setting myself up for surprise exams of this nature. This time it went: “Hello! I have symptoms! Can I get in to see someone?” “Sure. That’s the sort of thing we give you a nice pelvic exam for, so we will set up an appointment. How does RIGHT THIS INSTANT sound?”

Comments

[childthursday.livejournal.com]

surprise!Pelvic sounds like an interesting experience. You will now be that student's idea of what a normal pelvic exam will look like. I think that is amusing. Also, nice way to encourage a better bedside manner. I always stiffen up when I'm in that position.

[luinmir.livejournal.com]

I tend to be the zen patient, too. Especially in gyno appointments, since I think the typical patient is a lot more nervous about people messing with "down there". Unless they are doing something unexpectedly painful to me, (See also: biopsying my friggin' cervix.) I'm cheerful as anything to provide whatever information--physical or otherwise--they may need.

Then again, I think I may give you a run for your money as "TMI Queen".

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

Warning; post may contain TMI;
Funny story, but the last two times I had cervical smears; the first time it was done by a rather nervous trainee with no supervision who did it perfectly and was nice to me, and the second time it was done by a bitchy doctor who went ON and ON about her 'twenty years experience' and her 'medical integrity' (all I wanted was a renewal of my Pill prescription but she decided to give me a smear because of said integrity (this is why we avoid locums, they get bees in their bonnets)) and yet made me uncomfortable, and made me BLEED.

Forgive me, but doctors are not supposed to make you bleed internally and down there. That is bad. Anyway, I'd take another student any day, after that!

[shadesofmauve]

Your limerick is begging to be meta-d. May I?

Last time I had a student sit in in a pelvic exam, she was from Bulgaria, AND I kept making her giggle. Rather discomfited the doc.

[ursulav.livejournal.com]

I have that problem too. "For science, you say? Well, sure!"

...so far, only one boyfriend has actually learned and made use of this weakness...

[catsinboxes.livejournal.com]

"FOR SCIENCE!" is my battle cry.

[queenlyzard.livejournal.com]

Anything but gyn exams for science! I'm all for the science, but the last pelvic exam I had did not go well. Fun(not!) way to find out that one's vulvidynia (spelling?) has returned: when attempted exam results in screams of "ow!" and back arching so hard I almost fell off the damn table. Dr. politely suggested I come back for an appointment with the specialist who has the kid-sized speculum. Oh hells no. Exam is creepy enough without that.