On Exposition and Extrapolation

[bloodyrosemccoy]

International Plant Appreciation Day
Thomas Jefferson Day
Birthday - President Thomas Jefferson (3rd President)
Sinhala and Tamil New Year (Sri Lanka)
Vaisakhi (India)

Amelia adds: Mom’s Birthday! Woohoo!  Happy birthday, Mom!

 

Oh, speaking of clumsy exposition, a number of you writers may be thoroughly amused by Mark Rosenfelder’s short example of what would happen if all stories were written like science fiction stories.  It cracks me up every time, especially because all the early drafts of my stories have some impressive infodumps in ’em (though none on par with James White). Obviously, science fiction has some unique problems in that category.  (And as a bonus, it manages to get all the obnoxious condescension toward women that too much sci-fi has down cold.)

 

 

And, in unrelated news, I was apparently in a crazyass mood last night.  Not only did I begin to brainstorm ideas for duck-driven plots; I also engaged my reluctant sister in a conversation about how the hell kangaroos would feel about abortion.

 

Just think about that for a second, will you?  How would a marsupial view the whole big brouhaha us humans are stirring up?  All marsupial births could be viewed as “abortions,” since when they’re born marsupials are little squishy pink things the size of peanuts whose only abilities are to climb into their mother’s pouch and nurse.*  Kangaroos would probably look at all of us with our hand-wringing and shouting at each other and think, “Tch.  Noobs.”

 

And really, what the hell could a kangaroo do against abortion? How would you enforce kangaroo pro-life? If a kangaroo decides that she doesn’t want a baby, she can just pretend she isn’t pregnant (it’s the size of a peanut, nobody would have gotten suspicious), wait till it pops out, and one little flush later no one is the wiser!  No hassles with Planned Parenthood, no digging around for a legit abortion clinic, no desperate back-alley abortions with a coat hanger to worry about. How would a pro-life kangaroo mob** find the prospective mothers to harass? How would they do those fake abortion clinics? What would they do if they couldn’t bomb real ones?

 

Of course, another question would be what the physical presence of those little pink blobs would do to everyone’s emotions. When it’s inside, it’s a little more abstract. Once there’s this actual little thingy thing there, even if it’s nothing more than a little wad of what may eventually become a kangaroo, it may change you in odd ways.  Would you feel worse about dumping it? Or better?

 

One thing’s for sure, no matter what: if kangaroos were sentient, I would introduce them to the concept of wet wipes.  If you haven’t got a placenta around, you’ve got to find some way to dispose of the joey’s waste.  Do you know what that method is? Yeah. I believe we have a serious untapped market on our hands.

 

(I started all this because the next story I’m writing deals with marsupial aliens, and the story took off down this path.  I just thought that kangaroos made it much more fun.  Everything is better with kangaroos.)

 

 

*If we’re going by the standards of “undeveloped when born,” I suppose you could say that all human births are also abortions.  Having a big damn head comes at a price.

 

**"Mob," now I think about it, is actually the term for a bunch of kangaroos. 

Comments

[blackbyrd2.livejournal.com]

That was hilarious, not least because I've read so much space opera which sounded just like that. :)

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

I do tend to gauge my own space opera by seeing how much it sounds like this story. The best part is how spot-on it is--I've read and watched so much space opera like that. It's part of the fun.

[tiryn.livejournal.com]

That story has started my day of hilariously. :D Tusen takk for that.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Glad you like it. It's one of my favorites.

[revspitz.livejournal.com]

I don't think babies being murdered by abortion is 'hilarious.' Only a sick human being would think lightness about innocent children having thier lives taken from them is 'hilarious.'

[blackbyrd2.livejournal.com]

OMGZORZ!!!11!! YOURESO RIGHT SHE OTTOALLYSAID KILLING HUMAN BABIES WAS HILAROIUS!!!1!ONE1 STONEZ HER11


On a more serious note. How many children have you adopted? I'll actually engage in serious debate if someone puts their money where their mouth is, but unless you've got an ongoing effort to adopt and provide good foster homes for unwanted babies, you haven't got a leg to stand on and should STFU.

And before you start in with denials, know that I recently spoke with a man who, with his wife, had adopted 15 kids and provided foster home for over 250 others. I doubt you've done anything at all, since you apparently have time to search LJs looking for the occasional mention of the word abortion and flying off the handle.

Moron.

[blackbyrd2.livejournal.com]

btw, do you even know what a blastocyte is? Educate yourself.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

That's true, but curiously, I have never met this person before. She seems to have shown up on my journal in direct response to the word "abortion" to hijack a surrealist and silly post and turn it into a vituperation-filled abortion "debate." That's trolling, that is! Fred Phelps' crowd has complete right to picket funerals to express their opinions, but it doesn't mean that exercising such a right doesn't make 'em trolls.

On the other hand, I don't get enough trolls round these parts. I should take pictures!

[dormouse-in-tea.livejournal.com]

Every time I see that one of my internet friends have gotten a troll, I get all sniffly.

You're all grown up on the internets!

[lookingforwater.livejournal.com]

Kill it in a bell jar and put it over your desk in a nice frame

[annotated_em]

I don't think I've mentioned this lately, but I am vastly entertained by your brain.

Also, I think you have a troll infestation.

[blackbyrd2.livejournal.com]

Trolls are fun though. They allow one to vent all that homicidal rage one has been burying. :D

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Heh. I'll let you field it, then. You seem to be having fun. Hope she comes back! ;)

[blackbyrd2.livejournal.com]

I checked their info (and, btw, I'd bet dollars to donuts it's a he, not a she. Most of the adamant pro-lifers are men. Go figure. It's almost as if the debate wasn't about life, but about controlling women, huh? ;) )
Anyway, they've posted 26 times, but no responses, no posts in their LJ, no friends listed. I think they want to be anonymous, but aren't bright enough to figure out that they can post anonymously without registering. Or maybe they're waiting for their brilliant prose to attract friends.

At any rate, I doubt they'll be back, and if you want to clean your LJ up, feel free. You can delete mine as well, just to be tidy. :)

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I checked out the info. Not sure why someone would bother to make an account, except to add that cute little icon. (Maybe it makes searches for keywords easier?)

Delete? You kidding? I haven't gotten a good troll in forever!

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Glad you like it! I do tend to get into that Weird Feedback Loop sometimes, but it has fun results.

*grin* It's my second troll ever! They're rare here, so I still enjoy them.