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Important Brain Notes
Oct. 13th, 2015 03:08 pmI'm sure you're all fascinated by what's going on in my brain. I know I am! And, in fact, interesting things have been going on in my brain recently.
Here's the thing: not too long ago, Dad made the suggestion to me that perhaps my depression was actually bipolar II disorder. I talked to my doctor, and he agrees it's possible, for a couple of compelling reasons.
First off, family history. As we look through the family, we find a pattern of lots of the following kinds of people:
1. People with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder
2. People with a diagnosis of something else that, in retrospect, was probably bipolar disorder wearing a fake mustache and glasses
3. Generally strange people.
Those are all compelling ones--bipolar was often misdiagnosed as other things in the past, and sometimes people don't get a diagnosis but probably had something going on.
So yeah, the family history suggests that bipolar II is probably the uniting factor. But another rather compelling factor in this conclusion is that, y'know, I've had hypomanic episodes.
You guys may have noticed. Every year, sometime around September - December, I will have a week or so where I have ALL THE IDEAS, to the point where I'm paralyzed by them in the same way you'd be paralyzed by a fire hose blasting at you. The hypomania is rather low-key--my big symptoms are what's innocuously named "flight of ideas" and an need to blather on about whatever has snagged my obsessive attention for the episode. I don't engage in shopping sprees, drag racing, wild orgies, or any of that; I just stare at the wall a lot because SO MANY THINGS ARE CRASHING AROUND IN MY HEAD, or annoy the hell out of whoever is within earshot with chatter about my obsessions. (I do, however, emerge from it with some graphomania. And for the record YES, I AM WRITING THAT LAST BIT OF SCATTERSTONE; I HAVE JUST LOST MOMENTUM.) It's not destructive so far, but it's certainly obnoxious.
So! How do I feel about this revelation?
Honestly? I'm thrilled. I like making discoveries. I feel like I've gotten a better explanation for who I am. And now we can try an auxiliary Fukitol as a mood stabilizer. I know, most people aren't pleased to discover they're mentally ill, but hell, I already knew THAT. Now it feels good to narrow down just what that illness is.
So! Anybody out there got bipolar II? Any advice for me? Comments? I warn you, I'm embarking on an exciting new medication adventure, so I might sound a little crazy for a bit, but hopefully this'll even me out more. Wish me luck!
Here's the thing: not too long ago, Dad made the suggestion to me that perhaps my depression was actually bipolar II disorder. I talked to my doctor, and he agrees it's possible, for a couple of compelling reasons.
First off, family history. As we look through the family, we find a pattern of lots of the following kinds of people:
1. People with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder
2. People with a diagnosis of something else that, in retrospect, was probably bipolar disorder wearing a fake mustache and glasses
3. Generally strange people.
Those are all compelling ones--bipolar was often misdiagnosed as other things in the past, and sometimes people don't get a diagnosis but probably had something going on.
So yeah, the family history suggests that bipolar II is probably the uniting factor. But another rather compelling factor in this conclusion is that, y'know, I've had hypomanic episodes.
You guys may have noticed. Every year, sometime around September - December, I will have a week or so where I have ALL THE IDEAS, to the point where I'm paralyzed by them in the same way you'd be paralyzed by a fire hose blasting at you. The hypomania is rather low-key--my big symptoms are what's innocuously named "flight of ideas" and an need to blather on about whatever has snagged my obsessive attention for the episode. I don't engage in shopping sprees, drag racing, wild orgies, or any of that; I just stare at the wall a lot because SO MANY THINGS ARE CRASHING AROUND IN MY HEAD, or annoy the hell out of whoever is within earshot with chatter about my obsessions. (I do, however, emerge from it with some graphomania. And for the record YES, I AM WRITING THAT LAST BIT OF SCATTERSTONE; I HAVE JUST LOST MOMENTUM.) It's not destructive so far, but it's certainly obnoxious.
So! How do I feel about this revelation?
Honestly? I'm thrilled. I like making discoveries. I feel like I've gotten a better explanation for who I am. And now we can try an auxiliary Fukitol as a mood stabilizer. I know, most people aren't pleased to discover they're mentally ill, but hell, I already knew THAT. Now it feels good to narrow down just what that illness is.
So! Anybody out there got bipolar II? Any advice for me? Comments? I warn you, I'm embarking on an exciting new medication adventure, so I might sound a little crazy for a bit, but hopefully this'll even me out more. Wish me luck!
