It Was Delicious, By The Way

ME: Something sure smells good!

MOM: Yeah, I just made broccoli soup. It's not the cheesy kind you're used to.

ME: I can adapt! *secretly considers adding cheese*

MOM: Anyway, dinner's almost on. The soup is chilling now.

*phantom record scratch*

ME: ... Wait just a goddamn minute. "Chilling"?

MOM: The crock's in an ice bath.

ME: Oh. My. God. You've fallen for the "cold soup" scam, haven't you?

MOM: It is summer ...

ME: "COLD SOUP" IS BULLSHIT AND YOU KNOW IT

MOM: It has a very active tradition! What about gazpacho?

ME: GAZPACHO IS INFERIOR PICO DE GALLO SALSA. WITHOUT THE CHIPS.

MOM: Well, we've got plenty of other delicious food here, too!

ME: Hang on. Did you actually cook this soup before chilling it, or is it essentially some kind of broccoli smoothie?

MOM: Do I look like a barbarian? I cooked it, of course.

ME: Then it can still be saved! LONG LIVE THE MICROWAVE!

MOM: You just don't know how to expand your horizons.

ME: No, but I know the damn rules. You enjoy your crime against nature. I'm gonna heat up my soup. Incidentally, where's the cheese grater?

MOM: Hopeless.