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I’ve been on the lookout for good white tea lately. It’s expensive and actually not my favorite kind, but it’s got a nice delicate flavor that’s really refreshing sometimes.* So I figured I ought to have some around.
I got me a nice can of Rishi’s Peach Blossom Organic White Tea, which was listed as “White Tea infused with juicy peach, tangerine and aromatic blossoms.”
Perhaps the lack of an Oxford comma should have tipped me off, but this is tea, not grammar, so I bought it anyway.
I opened it up yesterday and took a nice whiff, and WHY IN THE NAME OF PINKY AND THE BRAIN DOES IT SMELL LIKE FLINTSTONES VITAMINS.
I tried brewing it, but no matter what I did it still tasted like Theraflu. The high fructose corn syrup would have been an improvement. This is natural peach flavoring in the same sense that Squeezy Cheez is a real cheese product. Only this time, it has no worth even if you don’t expect it to taste anything like the thing it’s supposed to be emulating.**
So scratch Rishi. I prefer my tea to be less reminiscent of Pebbles and Bam-Bam. The search goes on.
*My buddy Lychee and I noticed with some amusement when the Big Gross Tea Companies suddenly discovered white tea and put it in bottles with lots of high-fructose corn syrup. We cackled like hags as people started thinking that their pomegranate white tea inna bottle was all hip.
**Shut up, I like Squeezy Cheez. It's a guilty pleasure.
I got me a nice can of Rishi’s Peach Blossom Organic White Tea, which was listed as “White Tea infused with juicy peach, tangerine and aromatic blossoms.”
Perhaps the lack of an Oxford comma should have tipped me off, but this is tea, not grammar, so I bought it anyway.
I opened it up yesterday and took a nice whiff, and WHY IN THE NAME OF PINKY AND THE BRAIN DOES IT SMELL LIKE FLINTSTONES VITAMINS.
I tried brewing it, but no matter what I did it still tasted like Theraflu. The high fructose corn syrup would have been an improvement. This is natural peach flavoring in the same sense that Squeezy Cheez is a real cheese product. Only this time, it has no worth even if you don’t expect it to taste anything like the thing it’s supposed to be emulating.**
So scratch Rishi. I prefer my tea to be less reminiscent of Pebbles and Bam-Bam. The search goes on.
*My buddy Lychee and I noticed with some amusement when the Big Gross Tea Companies suddenly discovered white tea and put it in bottles with lots of high-fructose corn syrup. We cackled like hags as people started thinking that their pomegranate white tea inna bottle was all hip.
**Shut up, I like Squeezy Cheez. It's a guilty pleasure.
