I HAVE FOUND THE HOLY WALL

Well, the second interview at The Liberry went less well than the first, in the sense that we weren’t INSTANT SOULMATES. But I still think it went well.

For one thing, I didn’t scream like a Twihard when I saw the Wall O’ Languages.

Dear Optimus Christ, they have one enormous shelf devoted to studying languages—everything from Arabic to Zulu. It was enough to make a language nerd spontaneously combust, except that might burn the books and we can’t have that. So instead I just had a quiet internal spasm of pure language joy in the middle of the interview.

“Any questions?” said my potential manager.

“Can I have this wall?”

Man I hope I get this job.

Mind Over Matter

Well, here I was all excited to start Family Lesson Fridays for Tae Kwon Do, along with my brother the Dude, and the God of Irony takes that as its cue to visit upon me an enormous pressure headache—the kind that makes it feel like my brain is swelling up and drying out at the same time and my eyeballs will pop out like champagne corks if I do something strenuous, like stand up. Sometimes feeling crummy can be fixed with exercise, but in this case it only increases the pressure.*

So, sadly, I don’t think I will come out and play today.

I console myself by printing out the black belt koryo form for taking with me on our week-long trip to Moab. I can always run through it on the banks of the Colorado River when I feel better.

But I sorta did want to go today …


*And that’s dangerous, because then somebody pulls the shutters off your windows and suddenly the light causes the pressure to skyrocket and a gush of green blood shoots a foot from your eyesockets and you fall down dead. It’s true! I saw it this one time on CSI, a show renowned for totally plausible and accurate science!