Cruel And Very Unusual

My sister assures me that this method of interrogation will get anyone talking in no time. I really can’t fault her reasoning.

Amelia’s Sister Presents: How To Interrogate A Hostile

1. Acquire hostile.
2. Acquire a large plate of pancakes with lots of syrup.
3. Place hostile in room with plate of pancakes, no water, and no fork. Tell hostile that the pancakes are all there is to eat.
4. If the hostile is not revealing the location of the rebel base halfway through the pancakes, then hostile is clearly made of sterner stuff than most people. Not to worry!
5. Notice that the syrup got everywhere. The syrup always does. Hostile will now be covered in it.
6. When hostile inevitably caves and asks for something to clean up with, give hostile exactly one of those crummy paper napkins like the ones in cafeterias—the ones that will get soaked in syrup and break up into chunks, which will then stick to hostile.
7. For particularly tough cases, try blowing a few feathers around the room with fans.
8. Sit back and wait for the location of the rebel base.

My sister is a genius. I know I’d talk.