Tune In Next Time To: REM!
Jan. 18th, 2008 12:22 pmPooh Day
Anniversary - Lewis & Clark Expedition Commission
Lee-Jackson Day (Virginia)
Anniversary - Lewis & Clark Expedition Commission
Lee-Jackson Day (Virginia)
Last night, on Fukitol Theater:
We joined our hero in a small cell, awaiting her execution at 4:00 and rather surly about the whole business, and then we switched to her first person POV because it’s less cumbersome.
I had been captured by some villain—I was not supposed to be the hero, I had been captured playing the time-honored archetypal part of Ensign Ricky Redshirt—and when four rolled around I was going to be killed along with three other people. I wasn’t particularly bothered by this, since I figured (somewhat optimistically for a redshirt) that my family would show up to rescue me before then. But as the hour drew inexorably nigh, I started to get worried—suppose my family got held up? What if, despite their best efforts, they didn’t make the deadline? That would not be good.
So, as the guards led me out at zero hour, I rolled my eyes and said something like, “Fine, I’ll do it myself.”
This would have been a bit more of a problem if I weren’t a geek whose head was populated with supervillains who take forever to kill people. But since it is, the captor in question happened to be the Joker, and his evil plan was to pit the four of us prisoners against each other in some sort of elaborate Survivor-style game where we killed each other off, only I knew that he would just kill the winner anyway. Screw that. So instead of joining the antics of the other three in their fight to the death, I decided to kill our captor in the best way I knew how: I was going to get the three things Anansi used to trick gods into getting themselves killed.* I had to ask three Generically Tribal statues for these items, but it occurred to me that I didn’t actually know what they were or how the hell I was going to use them. “Dammit!” I thought. “If only I remembered that myth!”
So I did what any self-respecting person faced with this dilemma would do: I found a computer and looked it up on Wikipedia. I didn’t think this was actually legal in the Joker’s little game, so I was being very sneaky about it, but one of the other prisoners found me. He had the personality of Neville Longbottom and said he was a Canadian so he was going to talk to me instead of trying to kill me,** then went on to complain about how one of the other players (![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jadewing) had cut off his internet access. I wanted to tell them that This Is Exactly What The Bad Guy Wants Us To Do and that We Should All Work Together!, but I figured nobody would listen, so instead I just finished my research and resolved to kill the Joker before the game got out of hand. I knew I was being rude to the guy by ignoring him, but he’d thank me in the end when we were all not dead.
jadewing) had cut off his internet access. I wanted to tell them that This Is Exactly What The Bad Guy Wants Us To Do and that We Should All Work Together!, but I figured nobody would listen, so instead I just finished my research and resolved to kill the Joker before the game got out of hand. I knew I was being rude to the guy by ignoring him, but he’d thank me in the end when we were all not dead.Unfortunately, before I could figure out what the three items were, my alarm clock rang. This turned out to be another way to escape, but I’m sort of curious as to where the dream was going to go after that. What were these three items? Did I succeed in overcoming my redshirt destiny? What happened to everyone else? What kept my family—or Batman, for that matter? These are the questions I am left to ponder.
How was your night?
*I realize this is not actually part of the Anansi mythos, but you try telling my subconscious that.
**My subconscious, apparently, enjoys Canada jokes. It also enjoys really awful puns, though, so apparently my sense of humor is only intelligent when I’m awake.
