The Life Experience ~ Fall '07

[bloodyrosemccoy]

 What I Learned This Season:

• The sun sails from dawn to dusk and back very regularly along the equator, without a whole lot of pausing for twilight.
• If I were a magical thinker, I would totally believe Ganesh and I were buds.  The number of times he has popped up—sometimes to save my ass—is uncanny.
• Things rural Kenyans know about our culture: Doctor Who, The Flash, X-Men, George Bush, Coca-Cola, English, WWE, Barack Obama, and of course Chuck Norris.
• Things rural Kenyans don’t know about: secularism, pet cats, Spanish, states other than California and Texas, and of course bears.
• Things I knew about rural Kenya: tin roofs, farm animals, squat toilets, chicken slaughters, malaria, mosquitos
• Things I didn’t know about rural Kenya: cell phones, hot water for baths, ant holocausts, malaria being treated like chicken pox, tae kwon do, flying somersaults, ugali
• The recipe for ugali is as follows: boil some flour.
• The phrase for “turkey” in Swahili, bata mzinga, literally means “cannon duck.”  I don’t know why.
• It’s a good idea to wear shorts under your skirt, because 1) it keeps your thighs from chafing, and 2) you never know when you might have to hitch up your skirt to hike across the god damn ocean.
• Mosquitos will bite you more if you eat bananas.
• One of the traditional ways for a Swahili to make herself alluring is to stand over a censer while wearing a big skirt so that the smoke theoretically goes straight up into all the nooks and crannies to make them smell more pleasant.  I do not know why a man would have his nose there in the first place, but who am I to argue with Tradition?
• Sending postcards is expensive.
• Mosquitos that have already consumed blood explode when you swat them.
• I have good luck with people whose names start with some variation of "Kris."
• EVERYBODY uses Facebook.
• EVERYBODY.
• Kenyan outlets are something like 250 hertz, which will give your iPod superpowers but which Nintendo DS’s refuse to even acknowledge.
• Bagels are like the holy grail of food.
• The book Clan of the Cave Bear is a well-researched story with some very interesting, if not always well-written, details on the possible lives of the Neanderthals. The sequel, The Valley of Horses, is basically caveman porn.
• Goat meat is pretty good.  Not so much goat intestine or liver.
• Donkeys make the second most annoying sound in the world, right after mosques.
• The Swahili I learned from my book is the kind spoken in Tanzania, which is more formal than the kind in Mombasa.
• The Deaf accent trumps all others.
• Fridges and ceiling fans are the GREATEST INVENTIONS EVER.
• Al Gore is a helluva sport.
• There actually exists a canonical Sherlock Holmes story where Holmes and Watson get baked and have a gay moment.*

*While I can slash away with the best of fans, I can’t actually understand the consistent slashing of these two.  I have no real argument against it except that they just don’t seem like a couple—sort of like my somewhat obtuse argument against Bert and Ernie’s closetry being “But they’re Muppets.” However, this does not mean that Holmes and Watson cannot have gay moments.

Comments

[bean-bunny.livejournal.com]

There actually exists a canonical Sherlock Holmes story where Holmes and Watson get baked and have a gay moment.*

SHARE!

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

*rummages around online*

http://www.authorama.com/adventure-of-the-devils-foot-1.html

The scene goes like this:

HOLMES: Say, Watson! I have here some mysterious powder that is the link between two scenes of horrible and otherwise inexplicable death! Let's see what it does, unless you're chicken.

WATSON: Bring it!

HOLMES: Right, I think we've got to burn it. *sprinkles some on lamp*

WATSON: I wonder what sort of effect HOLY SHIT THERE'S A GIANT WRITHING MASS OF DARK EVIL IN FRONT OF ME WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE MY HEART IS GOING TO EXPLODE WITH HORROR! *looks at HOLMES, sees him in the same state, lifts him up and drags him outside*

HOLMES: Whoa. That was one BAD trip. Sorry, Watson. You're my only friend and so faithful and always follow me around no matter what, and that was kinda stupid of me to try to kill you.

WATSON: *chokes up* You know I would follow you to the grave. I love you, man.


IT'S ALL THERE, DAMMIT.

[ellixis.livejournal.com]

There are a good few very gay moments in the Sherlock Holmes stories. I suspect they weren't really meant that way originally, but they sure do look that way now.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

*grin* Like I said, while they didn't actually seem like they were a couple, what with Watson throwing himself at the ladies all the time (and why is he always portrayed as a fat guy? It always seemed to me like he was supposed to be well-built and sturdy), there were definitely some MOMENTS ...

[ellixis.livejournal.com]

Yeah. The first story states straight out that Watson is "as brown as a nut and as thin as a lath" in the beginning; later he's described as sturdy and well built, and he walks his rounds as a doctor and does some pretty damn athletic and acrobatic stuff while helping Holmes out, so he can't have been fat. That one's a Hollywood screw-up.

I can see an argument for bisexuality and victorian repression, and I can also see Watson being totally straight (Holmes I see as just plain not interested, except possibly towards exceptional individuals. He's got better things to do with his time and brain than fuss over women. Or men.). There's definitely a deep connection and affection there. Whether that translates into slashiness is rather up to the individual reader, I suppose.

Er, yeah. I've read everything canonical a ridiculous amount of times.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

*jumps up and down* Eee! Y HALLO THAR, fellow Holmes fan! I didn't know you were one!

Your interpretation is EXACTLY like mine, so I won't add anything except DAMN STRAIGHT.

[ellixis.livejournal.com]

HALO THAR X3

I've loved the stories since I was a little kid. I have a set of them collected into two volumes, and those are books that I reliably pick up and take with me when I'm going places, because I always enjoy them and the individual stories are nicely bite-sized for reading when there will be interruptions.

[kahnegabs.livejournal.com]

I just wanted to tell you that I have really enjoyed your observations in Africa. I hope you'll travel more and share again.

[cjtremlett.livejournal.com]

Wow! Let's see..
Some of the things rural Kenyans know surprised me (and made my inner Doctor Who fangirl squee).
Cannon duck is cool.
I always wear either shorts or leggings under skirts to prevent chafing.
At least in the UAE, though I suspect the same holds true elsewhere, Muslim women who cover will hold the incense censer under their robes to combat body odor.
Totally agree with you about the Clan of the Cave Bear and its porno sequel. I'd been so excited about it, and when I read it, it was total crap.
I think Al Gore has gotten a hell of a lot cooler since 2000. What in particular made you say he's a helluva sport?
Y'know, I think I'd heard about the Holmes/Watson thing before.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

I was surprised by the Who thing, too, but when the kids in a secondary school class asked what my favorite show was and I answered that, they all got very excited.

Al Gore's awesome was represented in the Futurama movie. I know his daughter used to write for the show and it's been a favorite of his, but I'm impressed by the jokes he took with good grace. (I also loved the BUSH "WINS" headline in the movie.)

We got a lecture on Swahili beauty where she explained that that was a way to allure one's husband. She demonstrated, too.

[cjtremlett.livejournal.com]

I like a man who can laugh at himself. Gore's discovered that since 2000 (if he had it before, he had no idea how to portray it publicly). Prior to 2000, he came off as a robot. An intelligent, well-intentioned robot, but still a robot. I swear, that man has had one of the most productive mid-life crises ever! He went from being a robot to being awesome.

[spotweld.livejournal.com]

Too many handlers prior to 2000 would be my guess.

[cjtremlett.livejournal.com]

Or the wrong handlers. Something to do with his PR people, definitely.

I do think there's an element of the mid-life crisis in there, at the very least. Here's a man who built himself a career aimed at being president and he "lost" in a very suspicious election. Now what do you do with your life? And how he answered that question has been very impressive.

[queenlyzard.livejournal.com]

your icon wins!!!

[pixel39.livejournal.com]

The updates have been fascinating. And I also totally agree with you about Clan of the Cave Bear, et. al. I actually read Valley *first*, then was pleasantly surprised to discover that the first one was an actual book. Then there was the third one...

I always wear bike shorts (or, in some cases, cotton capri pajama bottoms) under my long skirts. For the chafing thing.

Goat is exceedingly tasty, especially as curry.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I didn't even want to try the third one ...

[nixve.livejournal.com]

I am intrigued... what does boiled flour look like, what is it's texture, what does it taste like, is it a breakfast/dinner/lunch/all-the-time food? I am highly curious!

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Have you ever had polenta/cornmeal? 'Tis very similar--sort of a sticky, grainy mush. And it's lunch and dinner. Very filling, but you've got to have something to put on it.

[nixve.livejournal.com]

huh, how very. Makes a lot of sense, I guess.

[bluetara2020.livejournal.com]

Cannot Understand Holmes/Watson slash...Holmes lived too much in his head for him to really be attracted to or even like anyone...unless, of course, they were as intelligent or more intelligent than him. And he had the quaint and sometimes erroneous assumption that women were, shall we say, not exactly the most intelligent of creatures. With the exception of "that woman"

And yet, if they are as intelligent or more than he is he obsesses over them. Some authors have taken this in different directions. Some of them decently written. Carole Nelson Douglas has a series of Irene Adler stories. Fred Saberhagen in one of his Dracula/vampire stories (which are an interesting take on the whole vampire mythos, btw) has Holmes in it. I'd read it for the way that he describes both Dracula and Holmes...which was kinda cool.

Err...ok, I geeked out for a moment there.

Yep, bananas attract mosquitoes. I think it has something to do with the potassium. And yet, if you eat citrus it helps keep them away.

[gwalla.livejournal.com]

I do not know why a man would have his nose there in the first place, but who am I to argue with Tradition?

Yes, one would think that at that point, the question of attraction would have already been settled.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's kinda what I assumed, too.

I also can't get a large sans serif two-tone version of the words SEX: UR DOING IT WRONG out of my head when I think of that, for some odd reason ...

[childthursday.livejournal.com]

I love this list. There are many profound truths on it. Such as Ganesh, Chuck Norris and the shorts. I am terribly amused by the Swahili beuaty secret, and am more willing to try that then some of the things Cosmo proposes.

I just looked up ugali and Wiki says I have eaten the Barbados equivalent!

[kadharonon.livejournal.com]

Every time I try to think of some way to reply to this, all I can think of is "Man, that sounds like it was SO MUCH more awesome than my semester abroad. Heck, it's more awesome than this semester has been, too. I wish I had awesome adventures like these."

So, for lack of anything better, there you go.

[queenlyzard.livejournal.com]

Chuck Norris' penis has it's own zipcode. At Christmas time, it gets more letters than Santa Claus. (courtesy of The Truth About Chuck Norris)

As to why a man would have his nose up a woman's skirt... I'm not sure I'm the right person to explain that one to you :)

And... yes, but is it *good* caveman porn?

Yay Ganesh, yay bagels, yay goatmeat. Er... I'm out of stuff to say bout your cool post. The bit about donkeys and mosques cracked me up, though, just because of how you phrased it.