bloodyrosemccoy | The Return Of Padparadscha!

*BAMF*

Ha ha! Do not adjust your computer monitor! It is indeed I, padparadscha, and I having recently in my travels discovered the source of the internet in Kenya! I am back!

See, we’re on the last and most dangerous part of the program, where we’ve stopped barging up and down the coast and have settled in for a month of independence doing our study project—so, naturally, here I am in an internet café, ready to keep an eye on you and see what you’ve done in the months I’ve been gone.

And what in the name of Diamond Balloon Fire Clock Milk HAVE you people been up to? I’m gone for two and a half months and you people go nuts. ursulav publishing Nurk and joining the slightly groggy Effexor club. kittikattie working at XCORP (huzzah!). Writers striking just as Stephen Colbert tries for the presidency. Transformers in my family’s front yard. bean_bunny off committing grand theft auto. Velociraptors’ feathers becoming solid fact. And Futurama coming back. Dammit, can you people hold still for just a couple of months?*

Of course, whenever you go off for a while and are out of touch, you’re always a little bit annoyed that people didn’t have the decency to wait till you came back before doing stuff again. But of course, people never have the decency to go along with that. So while I’m catching up reading current things and commenting, it’ll be impossible for me to go back and read everything.

So, instead, I entreat all of you to help let me know: what have I missed? What do you think I positively cannot live without knowing? Point me toward important things in your own blog—life-changing events, funny anecdotes, even just a reflection you think you wrote damn well and want to share. Is there a hilarious website you’ve found? A cool scientific breakthrough? Let me know!

On my side, boy do I have things to tell you about. I didn’t just spend the whole time lying around, you know.** I’ve been considering the best way to present all these stories in my journal to you, and I think I’m gonna go with the advice “Begin at the beginning, and when you get to the end, stop.” So, I will start at the beginning, when I first showed up in Mombasa and wondered what the hell I was doing here. When I get back to the States this might become a bit of a Schrödinger’s blog, with some of my entries in the present in America and some from The Past set in Kenya. But it shouldn’t be hard for you clever sonuvabitches to tell which is which. So! Expect to see at least a few more entries on here in the next month!

I’m back, baby.

*And what the blazes happened to the word “moist”? Offensive to women? What? I always hated the word because it is simply an ugly sound, but I never associated it with anything. I hate the word “purse” with an equal passion, to the point where I actually go out of my way to avoid saying it, but I don’t find the meaning offensive, just the shape of it in my mouth.

**That was only when I had malaria.