bloodyrosemccoy | In Ur Blog, Strunkin Ur Grammar

Or: Try To Keep Up With The Acronyms

Scene: The office. MOM is taking a look at AMELIA'S blog, and gets to the entry titled "I Has a Hank."

MOM: I'll bet people get annoyed when you write "I has."

AMELIA: ... What?

MOM: You did it again here. "I also has a book." People will think you mean "I have" and it's a typo.

AMELIA: They won't. It's ... it's something you say on the internet. It's netspeak.

MOM: They won't think you're stupid and that you can't use your own language properly?

AMELIA: On the internet, "proper use of language" has an entirely different meaning.

I'm glad she dropped it at that. I was worried she'd ask what that meaning was, and then I'd have to delve into a long explanation of macro-inspired internet idioms and lolcats and I'm in ur [noun], [verb]in ur [noun]z, and finally I was going to have to break it to her that OMGWTFBBQBACONZORS!!11!1! is a recognizable interjection as far as the internet is concerned. My mom is cool, but I don't think she's ready for that yet.

She'd be all, O_o.

And she wouldn't have any idea how to express that, either.