"Your Flu Vaccine Gave Me The Flu!"

[bloodyrosemccoy]

I am familiar with the principle of vaccination. I understand how it’s sort of like training your immune system to kill in the same way that cats train their offspring to: showing it a dead or weakened version of The Enemy, and letting it familiarize itself with the concept of DESTROY! I understand that the analogy I just used is simplistic at best, and I can grasp the much more complex reality of the situation.

 

Yes, I get all that.

 

I don’t really care. I understand the need, but it’s still a little disconcerting to have a nurse use a needle to insert a tropical disease into your arm.

 

For one thing, I hate intramuscular vaccination. It makes me feel like I’ve been punched in the arm. I could handle the meningococcal vaccine because it was subcutaneous, and I got allergy shots for a number of years and put up with a small tattoo. But yellow fever had to go in the muscle, and made my whole arm sore.

 

Also, remember how I said that rumor had it the yellow fever vaccine makes you sick?

 

The rumor has been confirmed. I have General Malaise. Also, my eyeballs may launch from their sockets at any time

 

And that’s just the beginning! I’m also taking typhoid oral vaccinations, and next week I get to go have a couple of boosters and pick up the prescriptions for clean needles (along with a letter saying that they’re for medical purposes, dammit), anti-malarials, birth control,* and treatment for travelers’ diarrhea.  And I tell you, nothing inspires confidence in you like the nurse saying, “I’m going to write a prescription for two episodes of diarrhea, because you’ll be there long enough.”  I also have a 63-page pamphlet that boils down to, “Go there if you insist, but wear a bodysuit.  And stay indoors.  With the windows closed and the drapes pulled.  Under your bed, if it’s possible.  And drink only bottled water and only eat Clif Bars.”

 

But gods dammit, this is happening.

 

Remind me why I’m going here, again, and why I didn’t pick a nice clean first world country like Norway?

 

 

*The basic message I’m getting from the clinic is that while in Kenya, the best plan is to not have sex.  With anyone.  In fact, just to be safe, don’t even fantasize, because you never know what your imaginary partners may have picked up from hookers in Nairobi or something.  So my need for Da Pill caused some concern among the nurses.  However, I’ve been taking birth control for a third of my life for a completely unrelated reason.

Comments

[cjtremlett.livejournal.com]

Because Africa is amazing, Kenya is stunningly gorgeous and if you didn't go, you'd always regret it.

Have these nurses and other medical people had any practical experience with Africa? The warnings are good, definitely, but it's a bit over the top. The medical folks weren't as freaked out when I went. I was only there for ten days, though.

Bring major amounts of sunblock. I had SPF 60 on my face (and the hubby's bald spot) and we used SPF 30 anywhere that might get exposed.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

*writes that down*

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Oh, and they aren't quite THAT alarmist, but the pamplet is really something.

[lookingforwater.livejournal.com]

...I went to the Amazon once and they had to inoculate me against the Black Death.

That's the coolest thing I've ever been vaccinated for.

[shadesofmauve]

If they could only innoculate against all the other colors of death, you'd be immortal!

Sorry, I have my silly hat on.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Y'know, I was thinking last night about the colors of diseases. I remember as a kid wondering why they were "scarlet fever," "yellow fever," the "black death," etc..

Great minds ...

[shadesofmauve]

I think, when I go, I'd like to go by indigo death. Or something in paisley.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Although the Pastel Death may not give you quite as many coolness points. But I'm curious about the Electric Blue Death With Gold Spots.

"She's got sepia fever. She's the exact color of an old photograph."

[shadesofmauve]

Quick! Color her in with those special photo markers, STAT!

[vogtalicious.livejournal.com]

Norway has some less-then-yummy parts. You can't leave Svalbard without a gun (5-to-1 polar bear to human ratio). But never the less...it's definately bragging rights. When it comes to danger, Europe (except for a few spots in the Eastern part) is about as biologically dangerous as your grandma's bathtub filled with fresh hot water.

[dormouse-in-tea.livejournal.com]

Your parenthetical footnotes are AWESOME.

And Kenya is going to rock. Even without a hazmat suit!

[nixve.livejournal.com]

ooh, are they giving you the anti-malarial pills that give you Really Weird Dreams? Supposedly some kinds do and some kinds don't.

[shadesofmauve]

Oh, hip-hooray for hormones.

"No, really, really, truly. I am a saint. I am a hermit. When someone comes within three yards of me I fast, bathe, and remove three layers of skin. I STILL WANT THE BIRTH CONTROL."

You're going to Kenya* because the amazing, paranoid preparations give you ample content for amusing blogposts, so that those of us with far less exciting things on our horizons - like dinner - can be entertained at your expense. Oh, and elephants.

*I don't know you and have not the foggiest idea why you're going to Kenya.

[tiryn.livejournal.com]

Remind me why I’m going here, again, and why I didn’t pick a nice clean first world country like Norway?

Well now, you're going there and I'm going to Norway because I think we both want to go someplace where a large portion of the people we meet are going to ask, "What the hell are you doing here??" Also, you didn't pick Norway because you didn't want to say, "Those jeans cost how much?!" Or the equally good question, "I'm sorry, did you just say you wanted me to sever my arm as payment for this meal here at this lovely restaurant?" After which someone is sure to mutter, "That's why we shouldn't have ordered that damn beer." Er, back to the first reason. Kenya not fancypants first world country because something drew you to it. Dunno what. But I'm sure it's something like my random reasons for going to Norway. Also, if you're gonna go somewhere, you might as well make it worth telling stories about, right? =D Man, this was a long and not so good comment. =P See ya in class.