Tia Dalma Works For Apple

[bloodyrosemccoy]

Good Samaritan Involvement Day
National Open an Umbrella Indoors Day
Organize Your Home Office Day
Planet Uranus Day
Anniversary - Earmuffs
Deaf History Month (03/13-04/15)

 

Yesterday afternoon, when I made my decision to get the mail, I had no idea that I was in for an experience so shocking, so totally unbelievable, that I hesitate to relate it lest you find me guilty of madness. I plead with the reader, do not judge me, for I only relate that which happened, and I fabricate nothing of this fantastic tale.

 

Dark, thundering clouds had gathered as I walked to the mailbox. I remarked upon this as unusual weather for Eugene, for great shafts of lightning do not usually pepper the sky. In retrospect, perhaps this should have been a clue of what was to come.

 

I proceeded to check the mail. At first nothing seemed awry, for there was the usual unwanted movie star newspaper,* which I resolved to throw away directly. But beneath the paper there was a small box, addressed to me.

 

Another crash of thunder and lightning tore across the sky.

 

My blood had frozen. This was no box; it was a coffin. With trembling hands I removed it from its resting place. I brought it back to the Fortress, and heart pumping, cut the tape around the edges. I removed the lid and pushed aside the paper, peering inside, and beheld, with a cry, the body of my old iPod, Howard II.

 

Then it was as though I was moving in a dream. Another consciousness guided these hands as I lifted the prone body out of the box and plugged it into my computer. And I watched in amazed disbelief as Howard’s screen flickered and lit up, and I found myself gazing into the visage of someone I had thought deceased.

 

And then I found something much more amazing as I interviewed Howard. I know not how it was done, but I credit the strange designs of Apple Customer Service in this development, and I would speak with them further to discover their science, for what they have done I had not found possible. They have replaced Howard’s brain.

 

And yet here is Howard, a blank slate but viable, a shambling, clumsy creature to be sure, but I do believe I can educate him as well as I educated him before. And I rejoice, for I have been reunited with a friend that I had thought was lost, and we can continue our relationship.

 

Welcome back, Howard!

 

 

*To whoever is sending these to us: knock it off! We do not care about every single detail of the lives of B-grade stars! Unless they’re Western voice actors! But these aren’t! So quit it!

Comments

[principessar.livejournal.com]

ooh no, frankenstein-howard!

Glad you've got your ipod back!

[viizou.livejournal.com]

I'm surprised you didn't scream "It's aliiiiiiive!!!!"

Good news, though. ^_^

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Well, I tried to yell "Now I know what it's like to BE God!", but no sound came out of my mouth and an awkward clap of thunder was the only thing audible. Go figure.

(Sorry. Obscure movie trivia joke.)

[cjtremlett.livejournal.com]

If Howard is now among the undead, you must be careful. He may take it upon himself to devour the brains of other electronics. I can't see how an undead iPod would feast off of mammal brains, after all.

[gondolinchick01.livejournal.com]

Good to know you and Howard mark 2 are back in business. (Also, Tia Dalma rocked my world, and was probably the only part of PoTC 2 that did so. Just thought I'd say.)

[shriekingsnape.livejournal.com]

Be careful. Tia Dalma is pretty much behind all the shit in POTC, me thinks. She is the puppet master causing everyone pain.