Cognitive Dissonance

[bloodyrosemccoy]

… In retrospect, probably qualifies as a mixed message when you bounce into the University Counselling Center, grin at the receptionist, and brightly say, “Hi!  I’m going to Kenya this fall! I have clinical depression, though, so I need to talk to a counsellor about coping strategies, okay?” Agreeing to ‘anytime this week,’ sitting down and snickering at a Terry Pratchett book while they check their schedule, and then waving happily and saying “Have a good day! See you tomorrow!” only cloud the issue further.

 

It’s like having Sunny the Care Bear walk into your office and say, “Hi!  I live in a rainbow world of clouds! Sometimes I have bad thoughts of everlasting misery and the finality of death! Are those lollipops for anybody?”

 
Counselling centers must be a barrel of laughs to manage.

Comments

[blackbyrd2.livejournal.com]

If nothing else, it ought to get you a snap diagnosis as bi-polar. ;)

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

*grin* That did cross my mind. "You sure you weren't misdiagnosed, kid?" "Well, I got BETTER ..."

[tsita.livejournal.com]

Welcome to my world.

[gondolinchick01.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I remember I was pretty much like that when I was in for therapy a couple years ago. It seemed to extend to everyone around me, too. For a couple weeks after my first sessions I remember my mom being really, weirdly cheerful, like she was afraid if she was less so I would go off and slit my wrists or somethin'. Anyway, good luck. And congrats on Kenya. :)

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Oh, no, I was actually feeling cheerful. I simply need to get an assessment to make sure I won't crash in a flaming fireball once I GET to Kenya. But I could always use a hug!

When I was down dooby-doo down down, I didn't get the EVERYBODY'S HAPPY ALL THE TIME treatment, but I did get periodic grillings on whether I was planning to kill myself. Also lots of hugs. And one big fight. But overall it was all right.

[cjtremlett.livejournal.com]

Congrats on Kenya! You'll love it. I've been to Tanzania on vacation, with a day in Kenya at the end of it. Amazing places!

And I love the cognitive dissonance!

[placetohide.livejournal.com]

I've had problems like that with therapy, too, because I have bipolar depression, so I'm just as likely to be in an excessively good mood when I'm supposed to be depressed as I am to be feeling down. D:

Congrats on getting to go to Kenya, though! I'm sure that'll be an amazing experience :O

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Well, at least you get variety in your episodes. :p

No, actually, I'm just mostly a pretty cheerful person. I haven't had a depressive episode in about four years, although as noted previously I have been a little down recently, but that's the normal sort.

[shadesofmauve]

I sympathise with that. Friends who didn't know me six years ago are always absolutely dumbfounded to learn I'm on antidepressants. My response is always "Yeah, well, they're *WORKING*".

[vvvexation.livejournal.com]

Kinda like those old Head & Shoulders commercials.

"But you don't have dandruff!"

[viizou.livejournal.com]

Ah, so Kenya's working out, then? Super! :-D

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

If money happens, yeah! Hooray!

[luinmir.livejournal.com]

Oh man. That is so gonna be me when I get off my ass and go to the counseling center.

[ishyface.livejournal.com]

Would it be okay if I metaquoted this? It made me giggle.

... Manly giggles.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Quote away!

[ishyface.livejournal.com]

*over 24 hours later*

Excellent!

[manycolored.livejournal.com]

When depressed, I am highly amusing. Something to do with protecting my deep inner feeeeeewings with cynicism and cleverness.

I am also highly amusing when I'm not depressed, but it's a different flavor. More like watching a kitten with its first dose of catnip.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Exactly. I am told I'm macabrely funny when I'm in an episode, which actually hasn't happened for about four years.

Granted, I'm also told I'm macabrely funny anyway, so maybe I'm just evil.

[saturnial.livejournal.com]

Here from metaquotes.

I get that a lot too. It's like a game of 'who's depressed!' Is it a) The girl with the emo fringe, baggy jeans, my chemical romance on their ipod who looks permanantly as if she's about to cry, or b) the happy go lucky girl with short curly hair who's chatty and sociable and smiley in jeans and pretty teeshirts listening to Regina Specktor.

Some of my friends don't believe I'm depressed - they think I'm just making it up, or something. D: Not fitting the sterotypes can be awkward.

[adaptor.livejournal.com]

Here from metaquotes! I just wanted to say be *very* particular about what anti-malaria tablets they give you. Mine triggered a horrible depression in me that later progressed to not being able to keep food down. I was on a 9 week program in Tanzania and had to go home after 3.

/worst three weeks of my life
//must go back and to it 'right' sometime

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

VERY good to know! Which should I stay away from?

[adaptor.livejournal.com]

I don't know which kind I was on. I had very bad health insurance so bought my pills when I got there, knowing the pharma markup wouldn't be as high and that there'd be a good supply (seeing as so many people there need to take them).

When you get your perscription, just be sure to tell your doctor you have specific needs regarding this. You might also want to take anti-depressants with you just to be safe. FOr me, it's one of my life's biggest regrets that I didn't know this. I felt like a horrible fake and a faliure while there for not being able to do my voluntee duties better (on top of the depression) and I felt like a horrible fake and a failure for having to be sent home early with my tail between my legs. Oh, also for raising money for chairty for a climb of Mt.Kilimanjaro that I never got to do (but spent a long time paying off) and for having my camera stolen, and coming home to find out my car completely died. And then there was that drunken local evangelical who licked me.

I have trouble associating Africa with anything other than abject shame. When I go back, and I will one day, (pardon my language for a moment) IT WILL BE FUCKING ON!!!

Good luck! With just a little advanced knowledge I know it will be awesome for you!

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Ooh, that whole story sucks. I'm sorry it worked out that way. But I like your response and wish you all the luck getting there and kicking ass.

Mostly these counsellor interviews are about how I'll get hold of a good stash of antidepressants handy. My biggest fear is that they'll suddenly stop working, which has happened before. But thank you for the heads up.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_wastrel/]

Heh, I tend to get irrationally cheery right before and during my therapy sessions, I've found. I walk in there to talk to my therapist about suicidal thoughts, abuse and self-harm, and end up babbling about my favorite comedies and saying inappropriate things like "Have I mentioned how attractive I find you?"